ACADEMIC ENGLISH, Lecture notes of English

Download ACADEMIC ENGLISH and more Lecture notes English in PDF only on Docsity! GIAo TRINH LUYt;:N KY NANG VltT TltNG ANH THIRD EDITION ACADEMIC ENGLISH ALICE OSHIMA - ANN HOGUE GICSi THI~U: L~ THANH TAM (M.S.). L~ NGQC PHUONG ANH (M.A.) BAN BI~N OICH FIRST NEWS. NHA XUAT BAN TRE Writing Academic English. Third Edition Addison Wesley Longman. 10 Bank Street, White Plains. NY 10606 Editorial director: Allen Ascher Acquisitions editor: Louisa Hellegers Director of design and production: Rhea Banker Development editors: Arte1ia. Court, Framyoise Leffler Production manager: Alana Zelinak Production supervisor: Uza Pleva Senior manufacturing manager: Patrice Fraccio Manufacturing supervisor: Edie Pullman Managing editor: Linda Moser Production editor: Lynn Contrucci Photo research: Diana Nott Cover design: Curt Belshe Text design adaptation: Curt Belshe Electronic production supervisor: Kim Teixeira Text composition: Kim Teixeira Photo credits: See page 269 Text credits: See page 269 LIbrary ofCongress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Oshima. Alice Writing academic English IAlice Oshima. Ann Hogue.-3rd ed. p. cm. Includes index. ISBN 0-201-34054-2 (alk. paper) 1. English language-Rhetoric-Handbooks. manuals, etc. 2. English language-Grammar-Handbooks, manuals, etc. 3. EngJish language-Textbooks for foreign speakers. 4. Academic writing­ Handbooks, manuals. etc. 5. Report writing-Handbooks. manuals. etc. 1. Hogue. Ann. II. Title. PEl408.073 1998 808'.042-dc21 98-23607 CIP 5678 91D-BAH--{)3 02 0100 7 Concrete Support II 82 Quotations, Paraphrases, and Summaries 82 83.Quotations Paraphrases . 90 Summaries 94 Documenting Sources ofInformation 95 In-Text Citations 96 List ofWorks Cited 96 Review 97 PARTD Writing an Essay 99 8 The Essay 100 Writing an Essay 100 The Introductory Paragraph 101 The Concluding Paragraph 107 The Essay Body: Outlining 108 Transition Signals between Paragraphs 109 The Writing Process 113 Writing and Revising an Essay 113 The Writer's Changes to the First Draft 114 The Writer's Changes to the Second Draft 116 Review 119 9 Pattems of Essay Organization 121 Introduction 121 Chronological Order 122 Organization for Chronological Order 124 Logical Division of Ideas 127 Organization for Logical Division of Ideas 129 Cause and Effect Order 130 Organization for Cause and Effect Order 130 Block Organization with Transition Paragraphs 131 Chain Organization 134 Cause and Effect Structure Words 135 Comparison and Contrast Order 141 Comparison Structure Vocabulary 142 Contrast Structure Vocabulary 144 Organization for Comparison and Contrast Order 147 Review 149 V PARTID Sentence Structure 151 15210 Types of Sentences 152Clauses Independent Clauses 153 Dependent Clauses Compound Sentences (Coordination) versus Complex 153 Clause Connectors 153 Kinds of Sentences 155 Simple Sentences 155 Compound Sentences 155 Complex Sentences 160 Compound-Complex Sentences 162 Sentences (Subordination) 163 Review 165 Parallelism 166 Coordinators-And. Or, But 167 Correlative Conjunctions 168 Sentence Problems 169 Sentence Fragments 169 Choppy Sentences 171 Run-on Sentences and Comma Splices 172 Stringy Sentences 175 Review 176 11 Noun Clauses 178 Introduction 178 Types of Noun Clauses 179 Sequence ofTenses 180 That-Clauses 180 Subjunctive Noun Cl~'lses 182 Wh-Word Clauses 184 If/Whether-Clauses 187 Review 189 11 Adverbial Clauses 194 Introduction 194 Types ofAdverbial Clauses 195 Time C1auses 196 Place Clauses 197 Manner. Distance. and Frequency Clauses 198 Reason Clauses 199 V, Result Clauses 200 Purpose Clauses 201 Concession (Unexpected Result) Clauses 202 Contrast (Direct Opposition) Clauses 203 Review 204 1~ Relative Clauses 209 Introduction 209 Relative Pronouns and Adverbs 210 Position of Relative Clauses 210 Verb Agreement in Relative Clauses 210 Punctuation of Relative Clauses 210 Relative Pronouns as Subjects 212 Relative Pronouns as Objects 214 Possessive Relative Clauses 216 Subject Pattern 217 Object Pattern 218 Relative Pronouns as Objects of Prepositions 219 Relative Pronouns in Phrases of Quantity and Quality 222 Adverbial Relative Clauses 223 Review 225 14 Participial Phrases 230 Participles 230 Participial Phrases 232 Participial Phrases from Relative Clauses 232 Position and Punctuation Participial Phrases 232 General Form Participles-Active Voice 233 General Form Participles-Passive Voice 234 Continuous Form Participles 235 Perfect Form Participles 236 Participial Phrases from Adverbial Clauses 239 Reducing Adverbial Clauses to Participial Phrases 240 . ­ Review 242 Appendix A: Punctuation 245 Appetulb: B: Chart ofTransition Signals 254' Appetu:ltx C: Writing uflller Pressure 257 Appendix D: Correction Symbols 259 Index 261 VII . Order oj Lesson Presentation Topic Suggestlons In-Class WrltinJl Finally, models have been updated, practice material freshened, and explana­ tions streamlined, a,lr,vays with the intention of making the material more accessible to our students. .r . Writing Academic E'!-8iish is intended to be covered in one IS-week semester, with classes meeting five days aweek. The chapters in Part 1.Writing aParagraph, and Part II, Writing an Essay, should be taught in sequence. The sentence structure chapters in Part III should be taught alongside the chapters in Parts Jand II on the paragraph and essay in order to encourage students to write a variety ofcomplex structure$>_ Chapt:er 10, IYpes of 5entences, should be taught at the beginning of the course; subsequent chapters may be taught in any order. Wherever possible, instructors should integrate sentence structure with rhetoric. For example, adverbial time clauses in Part III m"ly be taught simu]taneous]y with chronological order in Part II. The topics listed for each writing assignment are only suggestions. Keep an eye open for interesting topics from current events or for interesting graphs, photographs, and charts in newspapers on which to base other assignments. Group brainstorming and in-class writing of first drafts are especially helpful in the early stages because you are available for immediate consultation. Also, you can check to make sure everyone is on the right track. Pair and group collaboration is appropriate for brainstorming and editing work; however, writing is essentially an individual task even when done in class. Writing under Appendix C suggests topics for writing under pressure. These assignments are to be Pressure Practice Exercises Peer Editing Photographs done in class under time pressure to simulate the experience ofwriting essay exami­ nations. We feel that this is valuable practice for college-bound students. The final practice exercises of the sentence structure chapters usually ask students to write original sentences. Because these practices prove whether the students under­ stand the structures and can produce them correctly on their own, we hope that you are not tempted to skip them. Interactive Peer Editing Checklists appear with each writing assignment. One method of using these lists is to ask pairs of students to exchange books as well as first drafts . of compositions. Each student in a pair edits the other student's work and writes com­ ments and suggestions about the other's composition in that student's book. A sec­ ond method is to provide photocopies of the checklists for peer editors to record their comments. A third method is to have each student read his or her draft out loud to a small group of classmates and then to solicit oral comments and suggestions by ask­ ing the checklist questions. The student who has read then writes down the group's suggestions in his or her own book. Of course, the instrucror can also respond to sru· dent wl'iting by commenting on photocopies of the checklists. The photographs introducing each chapter ofthe book depict some of the forms ofwrit­ ten communication used by diverse cultures throughout the evolution of civilization. x ~ Cac hai lu4n mdu duqc c4p nh~t, cac hai luy~n t~p duqc so~n mai va cac ph§n hUdng dan dugc sap xe'p hgp Ii han, tat ca nham de lam cho giao trlnh d~ sti dl;lng han. Thrltu. trinh , bay cdc phdn trong sdch Giao trlnh d\l' ki€n danh cho mQt khoa hqc 15 tuAn, hqc 5 hu5i mQt tuAn. Cac chuang a phAn I, Vi€t Bo~n Van va phAn II Viet Bai L~n phar duCJc d~y thea dung tha t\l' lien t\lc. Cac chuang v~ cau truc cau trong phAn IIi phai duqc d~y song song vai cac chudng trong phAn I va II de khuyen khich hqc vien vi€t cac lo~i cau phuc. Chuang 10, Cac Lo~i Cau, phai duqc d~y tit dAu khoa ~9C; cac chuang con l~i co the duCJC d~y theo thu t\l' tuy thich. Trong trttang hCJp co the duCJC, giao vien nen k€t hqp phAn cau truc cau vai phAn ky thu~t vi€t. Vi dl;l nhu cac m~nh d~ tr~ng ngli chi thai gian trong phAn III nen duqc d~y dang thai vai phAn d~y v~ cach sAp xep y theo thu t\l' thai gian aphAn II. GViy chudi Bai vii't tq,i ltlp Vie't dUdi dp lJlc Bai luyfn tq,p Sua bai cho nOOu Hinh anh Cac chu d~ duCJc li~t ke cho nhftng hai t~p viet chi mang tinh chat d~ nghj. Hay quan sat va thu th~p cac chu d~ hay tit cac s\l' ki~n dUdng d~i ho~c cac hieu d5 hinh anh, sa d5 hay tren bao de lam chu d~ cho cac hai viet khac. Trong giai do~n dAu, vi~c hqc nhom de gop y ho~c vi€t t~i lap ral co fch vi co sAn S\l' trq giup cua. giao vien. B5ng thai giao vien cung co the kiem soat de chAc chAn rang mqi hqc vien di dung huang. Hinh thuc lam vi~c tUng doi va thea nhom rat thich hCJp cho cong vi~c gop y vie't bai va stia bai; tuy nhien, viet lu4n la mQt cong vi~c ca nhan cho du co duqc lam t~i lap. Ph\lll;lC C dua ra cac chu d~ gqi y de luy~n vi€t duai ap l\l'c. Nhftng bai t4P d~ng nay nen duqc th\l'C hi~n t~i lap duai ap l\l'C thai gian de luy~n t4P kinh nghi~m vi€t hai trong ky thi. Chung toi thay rAng cac hai t4P nay rat hcru ich cho sinh vien cac trttang d~i hqc. Cac hai t4P cuO'i nhftng chudng cau truc cau thuang yeu cAu h9C vi€m tl;l' viet cau. Vi cac hai ~p nay nh~m de chUng minh r~ng h9C vien th~t s\l' hieu ro cac cau truc va co the t\l' minh vi€t dung cau truc, nen giao vien huang d§.n lap khong nen hi) qua cac hai ~p nay. Cu5i mM bai t~p viet d~u co bang huang ddn cham haL MQt trong nhftng cach sti dl;lng bang nay la yeu cAu tUng c~p hqc vien trao d6i bai nhap dAu tien. Moi hqc vien se stia bai cho b~n minh, d5ng thai ghi ro cac nh~n xet cung nhu gCJi y cua mlnh vao do. Cach thu hai la cung cap cho hqc vien cac bang gqi y cham bai de co the ghi nh~n xet vao. each thu ba la yeu cAu tUng h9C vien d9C to bai cua minh truac mQt nhom va de cac h9C vien khac nh4n xet, gop y dva tren hang ggi y. H9c vien dQC bai se tv ghi cac gqi y cua nhom. Va di nhien, giao vien cung co the nh4n xet bai lam cua hqc vie~ thong qua han gqi y cham hai. Cac hinh anh ddu moi chudng the hi~n nhung hinh thuc giao tiep chu viet cua cac n~n van hoa khac nhau qua tung thai k." phat tri~n cua van minh nhan lo~i. XI To the Student Many people have the mistaken idea that being able to write well is a talent that one either has or doesn't have. This idea is not necessarily true. You can learn to write effectively if you are willing to learn some strategies and practice them. Good writing in English requires the ability to write good sentences and to organize them logically into paragraphs and essays. In this book. you will learn how to do both. Nine chapters will help you write good paragraphs and essays. and five chapters will help you write good sentences. We hope you will enjoy the teaching approach and writing challenges offered in our book. Ifyou study each lesson carefully and do all of the practices thoughtfully, not only win your writing skills improve, but you will also develop greater confidence in your ability as a writer. XII qdl',&.rnd l', gU!l!.)!\. CHAPTER The Process of Academic Writing Native American symbols from Alaska Introduction Academic writing, as the name implies. is the kind of writing that you are required to do in college or university. It differs from other kinds of writing such as personal. lit­ erary. journalistic. or business writing. Its differences can be explained in part by its special audience. tone. and purpose. Whenever you write. consider your specific audience. that is, the people who wiU read what you have written. Knowing your audience will help you to communicate dearly and effectively. In academic writing. your audience is primarily your profes­ sors or instructors. 1 Chapter 1 The Process of Academic Writing In addition. you should also consider the tone ofyour writing. which depends on your subject matter and on your audience. Tone is your style or manner of expression. It is revealed by your choice ofwords and grammatical structures and even the length of your sentences. The tone of a piece of writing can be, for example, serious. amus­ ing. personal, or impersonal. Academic writing is formal and serious in tone. Finally, the purpose of a piece of writing determines the rhetorical form l chosen for it. A persuasive essay will be organized in one way and an expositorr essay in • another way. In this book. you will learn the basic rhetorical forms of academic writ­ ing. from single paragraphs to multiparagraph essays. As you write each assignment in this course and in other college courses, keep in mind your audience. tone, and purpose so that the message your reader will receive is .the message you intend to convey.3 The Wrltin8. Process, stage I: Prewrltin8. Writing, particularly academic writing. is not easy. It takes study and practice to develop this skill. For both native speakers and new learners of English, it is impor­ tant to note that writing is a process, not a "product." This means that a piece of writing. whether it is a composition for your English class or a lab report for your chemistry class. is never complete; that is, it is always possible to review and revise, Writing is so important and review and revise again. in academic life that some There are four main stages in the writing process: prewriting. planning. writing universities have on-line and revising drafts, and writing the final copy to hand in. Each stage will be explained writing centerS.These and practiced in Part I of this book. In this chapter. you will concentrate on prewrit­ sites offer extra writing ing techniques, which are activities to help you generate· ideas for your writing advice and information. assignments.Ask your instructor how to find them. Step 1: Ifyou are given a specific writing assignment (such as an essay question on an exam­ Choosing alld ination). then. of course. what you can write about is limited. On the other hand. when you are given a free choice of topics and can write about something you areNarrowing interested in. then you must narrow the topic to a particular aspect of that generalII Topic _ subject. Suppose you are interested in the environment. It would be impossible to cover such a big topic in a paragraph. You would have to narrow the topic to perhaps environmental pollution. if that is your interest. Environmental pollution, however, is still too broad a topic for a paragraph. so you might even further narrow the topic to a type of environmental pollution, such as pollution of the oceans. However, writing about ocean pollution is still too broad because it would include pollution by oil. chemicals, sewage. and garbage. Therefore, you might decide to write about oil as a source of ocean pollution. Finally. you might make this topic even narrower by writ­ ing only about the effects of oil spills on sea life. The point is, you must narrow the subject of your paragraph to a specific focus so that you can write about it clearly and completely. The diagram on page 4 illustrates the process of narrowing a general topic to a specific one. t j'L'h>~i~Vj, I rhetorical form: organizational,form and style :!expository: explanatory; one that explains . lconvey: express "generate: produce Part I Writing a Paragraph PRACTICE 2 Braillslormil1,q ~1' Listill.~ MODEL Freelltrllmg 1 Now there are three lists. each of which has a central focus. The central focus in each new list is circled: communication problems. classroom em1ironment, and American family life. The writer can choose one list to be the basis for a paragraph. Brainstorm by listing ideas on one of the following topics. Follow the four steps out­ lined on pages 4-5. How to be a good student How television is a learning tool The characteristics of a good teacher My favorite leisure-time activity Tourist attractions in your country or city One of the topics from Practice 1: Choosing and Narrowing a Topic on page 4 Freewriting Freewriting is a brainstorming activity in which you write freely about a topic because you are looking for a specific focus. While you are writing, one idea will spark! another idea. As with listing, the purpose of freewriting is to generate as many ideas as possi­ ble and to write them down without worrying about appropriateness. grammar, spelling, lOgic, or organization. Remember. the more you freewrite, the more ideas you will have. Don't despair if your mind seems to "run dry." Just keep your pencil moving. Follow this procedure: I. Write the topic at the top of your paper. 1. Write as much as you can about the topic until you run out of ideas. Include such supporting items as facts. details. and examples that come into your mind about the subject. 3. After you have run out of ideas, reread your paper and circle the main idea(s) that you would like to develop. 'lit 4. Take that main idea and freewrite again. II: the following model. the student is supposed to write a paragraph about one major problem at his college. The student doesn't have any idea of what to write about. so he starts freewriting about some of the problems that come to mind. '.< ~.: •Problems at Evergreen College ;.What is the biggest problem at Evergreen totlege~ Well. I really don't know. In fact. I can't think of one particular problem although I know there are many problems. For one thing, the €Iassrooms are usually overcrowded)At the beginning of this semester. Science Hall 21 I had"~ students although there were only 3 I 5 desks. A few of the seats attached to the desks were broken. so about 20 students had to sit on the floor. 8esides.€he classrooms are poorly maintained) In several of my classes, there are broken chairs and litter on the floor. Students even leave their dirty cups and other garbage on the desks. So the rooms are messy.cthe library is) (too small and always crowded with swdents) Not all swdents really swdy in the 10 library. Sometimes they talk a lot and this is really quite distracting to me and other ;"'.:'::., .; . : ":, .. ~L ~ , .-- ,.-.C· :-.i,-~2.'~:;r~:::21,~;?~J!-'Z~~~~~-r.~.- ..#,.,-:~;.:..:-. Isparlc cause to start coming to mind 2despair: be discouraged Chapter 1 The Process of Academic Writing serious students who want and need a quiet place to study. So the present library should be expanded or a new library should be built. Oh yes, I think that@nothe9 <problem is parking near the campus}The college has a big parking lot across from the west side of campus. but it is always full. So, many times students have to park 15 their cars in the residential areas, which could be so far away from the campus that they have to run to class to make it. Yes. parking is a big problem that many students face every day. I have a car. and many of my friends have one. We really have a problem. So. I think the biggest problem at Evergreen College is not enough parking spaces near the college campus ... After he finished freewriting. the student reread his paper and circled the main ideas, one of which he will consider as the major problem at Evergreen College. Let's say that the student has decided to choose parking as a major problem at Evergreen College. Now that the student knows the topic that he wants to write about, he will again brainstorm by freewriting; only this time, the specific topic will be on the parking problem only. His freewriting paper might look like this. MODEL Freetl'ritirlg 2 The Parking Problem at Evergreen College I think finding a parking space close to the campus at Evergreen College is a major problem. There are not enough parking lots for students to park their cars. Therefore. students have to come early to get a parking space, and even then. sometimes they are unlucky and can't get a good parking space. Once I couldn't s find a space in the west-side parking lot. and I had to drive in the streets for a half hour before I found one. So, I was late for class. Some students are late to class almost every time the English class meets. Some even drop the class, not because they can't handle it. but because they can't find a place to park close to the campus. The teacher warns them time and time again not to be late. but they can't o help it. ...What is the solution to the parking probleml Maybe the college should spend some funds to construct a multilevel parking lot that will accommodate three times as many cars as the present parking lot holds.... . _: __ .~~..:.;.. ..._"'~_ •.• ,.;. . • .,_.~... ·~"•..-t"2:_ ....·•.l·", ...",';...·._."""'~~-,;':~:':';_~:~A=-'~~·U·-·.i;t,t"4;:".~\~;~,,;~~JIii:I The student can continue freewriting as long as he can generate ideas related to the topic. Then after completing that task, he can reread it and develop certain points, add some more ideas. or even delete others. The student can do this freewriting activ­ ity several times until he is satisfied with what he has written. PRACTICE 3 Brainstorm by freewriting on one of thefQ!lowing topics. Follow the four steps out­ Braills/orming 1~1' Prf!f!ll'rifiug lined on page 6. Problems of working students Problems of international' students Problems with learning English in my country A topic of your own choice Part I Writing a Paragraph MODEL Clustering PRACTICE 4 Brail1s/orming by Clustering Clustering Clustering is another brainstorming activity that you can use to generate ideas, Here's how to use this technique: In the center of your paper, write your topic and draw a "balloon" around it. This is your center, or core, balloon, Then write whatever ideas come to you in balloons around the core. Think about each of these ideas and make more balloons around them. For example, suppose you had to describe a person who is close to you in some way. Using the clustering technique to ge~ ideas, you might end up with a paper such as the following. ( /-­bevc:ise ') ,e",H\'-Si~"----­ The largest cluster of balloons was generated from the "workaholic" balloon, so this would be a good focus for this student's paragraph about his father. Use the clustering technique for ten minutes to generate ideas about a member of your family. The Writing Process, Stage II: Planning (Outlining) Step 1: Making Sublists In Stage I, you chose topics and narrowed them, and you generated ideas by brain­ storming. Now you are ready for Stage II in the process ofwriting, the planning stage. In the planning stage, you organize the ideas you generated by brainstorming into an outline. 1\un back to the model about culture shock on' page 5. The student had devel­ oped three different lists of ideas: communication problems, classroom environ­ ment, and American family life. She decided to write a paragraph about communica­ tion problems. The first step toward making an outline is to divide the ideas in the "communication problems" list further into sublists and to cross out any items that don't belong or that aren't useable. Chapter 1 The Process of Academic Writing Step 2: Revising Content and Organization • Don't worry about grammar, punctuation, or spelling. This first rough draft does not have to be "perfect"; in fact, it won't be because your main goal is to write down as much information as you can, following the points in your outline. While you are writing. you may not be able to think of a word or phrase. or you may be unable to complete a thought. Don't worry-just leave a space or a line. You can fill it in later. Also. while you are writing about one major point, you might come up with an idea for another major point. Don't risk forgetting it! Write it down in the margin of your paper near where it belongs. Above all. remember that writing is a continuous process of discovery. Therefore, as you are writing, you will think of new ideas that may not be on your brainstonning list or in your outline. You can add new ideas or delete original ones at any time in the writ­ ing process. Just be sure that any new ideas are relevant! After you write the rough draft, the next step is [0 revise it. When you revise. you change what you have written in order to improve it You check it over for content and organization. including unity. coherence. and logic.' You can change. rearrange. add. or delete. all for the goal of communicating your thoughts more clearly. more effec­ tively, and in a more interesting way. During the first revisioh, do not try to correct grammar. sentence structure. spelling. or punctuation; this is proofreading. which you will do later. During the first revision. be concerned mainly with content and organization. This is how to proceed: . • Read over your paragraph carefully for a general overview. Focus on the general aspects of the paper and make notes in the margins so that you can rewrite parts that need to be improved. • Check to see that you have achieved your stated purpose. • Check for general logic and coherence. Your audience should be able to follow your ideas easily and understand what you have written. • Check to make sure that your paragraph has a topic sentence and that the topic sentence has a central (main) focus. : • Check for unity. Cross out any sentence that does not support the topic sentence. • Check to make sure that the topic sentence is developed with sufficient supporting details. Be certain that each paragraph gives the reader enough information to understand the main idea. If the main point lacks sufficient information. make notes in the margin such as "add more details" or "add an example." Make sure that you haven't used general statements for support. (Note: Using concrete supporting details will be taken up in Chapters 6 and 7.) • Check your use of transition signals. • Finally, does your paragraph have or need a concluding sentence? If you wrote a final comment, is it on the topic? Now rewrite your paragraph. incorporating all ot' the necessary revisions. This is your second draft. .. (t· I These terms are explained in later chapu~o•. If are shy. 'Sttleeftts dcft't feel ec....ieA&. whe" IBealti ...~ Erl2lish. 81s difficult Ibr foreign people to understand Americans. 9Americans use incomplete sentencel."8:Mf efc'iR 'bey Wie "'Aelea, 8M~~"ia"l. IOAmericans talk too fast. so it is often imposible to catch their meaning. 11Americans also use a lot of slangs and idioms. ~~~~:D Part I Writing a Paragraph Step 3: Proofreading tbe Second Draft Step 4: Writing tbe Final Copy The next step is to proofread your paper to check for grammar, sentence structure. spelling. and punctuation. • Check over each sentence for correctness and completeness: no fragments and no choppy or run-on sentences. • Check over each sentence for a subject and a verb. subject-verb agreement. correct verb tenses, etc. • Check the mechanics: punctuation, spelling. capitalization, typing errors. etc. • Change vocabulary words as necessary. Now you are ready to write the final copy to hand in. YQur instructor will expect it to be written neatly and legibly in ink or typed. Be sure that you make all the corrections that you noted on your second draft. After rereading the final copy. don't be surprised if you decide to make a few minor or even major changes. Remember that writing is a con­ tinuous process of writing and rewriting until you are satisfied with the final product. The following models show you how one student worked through the process of writing and revising drafts before arriving at the final copy. MODEL n)e First Rough Draft ... Use the correction symbols explained in Appendix D. pages 260-261. to mark grammar and sentence structure changes on your draft. ......,.~ Communication Problems ~~onal students in the United States face communication p Americans. Zit is a kind of culture shock to them. 'They soon reallize that their ~ Ci'­ verbal skills are poor. 4They lack vocabulary. and they have poor pronunciati.n. 5American people doesn't understand them. &rhey also speaMoo softly be.aus ef) fi) 12People do not know their meaning. '-1.:-v...~.. After writing the first draft, the writer checked her paragraph for organization. • First, she checked to make sure that her paragraph matched the assignment. The assigned topic was "culture shock." Although her second sentence mentions culture shock. her topic sent,ence does not, so she decided to combine the two sentences. • The writer checked the paragraph for unity and decided that sentence 6, which she had added while writing the rough draft. was a good addition. However, she decided that sentence 7 was off the topic, so she crossed it out. • Next, she checked to see if there were eIl(>ugh supponing details, and she decided that there weren't. She decided to adt\ examples of poor pronunciation, an incomplete sentence, and an idiom. She couldn't think of an example of an unclear expression, so she crossed out her reference to unclear expressions in sentence 9. Chapter t The Process of Academic Writing • She also decided to add transition signals such as first ofall, for example. and also to make her paragraph more coherent. • Finally, she decided to add a concluding sentence. Then she wrote her second draft. MODEL 1be Second Draft Communication Problems Sf to u ... ;,;."..... ; ~.. " ....... .:.-_"':... lOne kind of culture shock faced by international students in the United States .wbM-~~~.i-J'- ""..,..J ,~t..Ia"'. is ~ difficulty ~~e communicating -Aidi Americank~ey soon~e that their verbal skills are poor. 3First of all. they lack vocabulary. and they have poor - ~ .pronunciation. ) 4American people 't understand them. 'For example, a few days ago. I asked an American student how to get to the library, but because I have Jto.J trouble pronouncing ,'s and rs. the student didn't understand me. 61 finally ~ ...."..~~""""·,. .•t. ~. k. write it on a piece of paper. 1~ also speak too softly beaus,,"are shy~ls difficult for foreign people to understand Americans, too. 'Americans use incomplete sentences. such as "Later" to mean "I'll see you later," and "Coming~" to mean "Are $P ~.cttI you coming?" IOAISO. Americans talk too fas} so it is often imposible to Ciac'R enei" ~A..c... ..w*A&- .......M't4'1 ~At+.-c. 0,.......... .... meanina "In addition, Americans also use a lot of sian" and i iom" 'ZoPes.le do not know their mean;... '3Far example, the other day someone said to me. "That drives me up the wall," and I could not imagine what he meant. 141 had a picture in my mind of him~hiS car ~ up a wall. ISlt didn't make sense to me~ 161n short. communication is probably the first problem that international students face in the United States. 11After a while, however. their ears get used to the American t:tJ1\.t;..d« ... way of speaking, and their own verbal ~ improve. ~.~.;~......"~ ....... (w..r ........; "_;( .•~1.+'-. Next, the writer proofread her paragraph for sentence structure, grammar, mechanics (spelling, punctuation, capitalization, etc.), and vocabulary. These are the corrections she made: Sentencfl structure: I. This student knows that one of her writing problems is sentences that are sometimes too short. so she tried to find ways to lengthen her short sentences in this paragraph. • She added When tltey jirst arrive in the United States to sentence 2. • She combined sentences 3 and 4.. • She combined sententes"'tl' and 12. C-HAPTER What Is a Paragraph? An Overview Egyptian hieroglyphics Introduction Aparagraph is a basic unit of organization in writing in which a group of related sen­ tences develops one main idea_ A paragraph can be as short as one sentence or as long as ten sentences. The number of sentences is unimportant; however. the paragraph should be long enough to develop the main idea clearly. A paragraph may stand by itself. In academic writing. a paragraph is often used to answer a test question such as the following: "Define management by objectives, and give one example of it from the reading you have done for this class." 16 Chapter 2 What Is a Paragraph? An Overview A paragraph may also be one part of a longer piece of writing such as a chapter of a book or an essay. You will first learn how to write good paragraphs, and then you will learn how to combine and expand paragraphs to build essays. Paragraph Structure The following model contains all the elements of a good paragraph. Read it carefully two or three times, and try to analyze its structure. MODEL P(lragrapb SJruciure Gold I':,eel ! ~JGold. a precious metal. is prized for two important characteristics. First of all. 'bol gold has a lustrous I beauty that is resistant to corrosion.zTherefore. it is suitable r~ ,~:~ ,.,',.( ., ,jfor jewelry. coins. and ornamental purposes. Gold never needs to be polished and will remain beautiful forever. For example. a Macedonianl coin remains as "f s untamished4 today as the day it was minceds twenty-three centuries ago. Another " ~ important characteristic of gold is its usefulness to industry and science. For many years. it has been used in hundreds of industrial applications. The most recent use of gold is in astronauts' suits. Astronauts wear gold-plated heat shields for protection outside spaceships. In conclusion, gold is treasured not only for its 10 beauty but also for its utility. The Three Parts ofa Paragraph A paragraph has three major structural parts: a topic sentence. supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence. The topic sentence states the main idea of the paragraph. It not only names the topic of the paragraph, but it also limits the tOpiC to one or two areas that can be dis­ cussed completely in the space of a single paragraph. The specific area is called the controlling idea. Notice how the topic sentence of the model states both the topic and the controlling idea: TOPIC CONTROLLING IDEA ~, a precious metal, is prized for two important characteristics. Supporting sentences develop the topic sentence, That is, they explain the topic sentence by giving reasons, examples. facts, statistics, and quotations. Some of the supporting sentences that explain the topic sentence about gold are First of all, gold has a lustrous beauty that is resistant to corrosion. For example, a Macedonian coin remains as untarnished today as the day it was mint­ ed twenty-three centuries ago. Another important characteristic of gold is its usefulness to industry and science. The most recent use of gold is,in astronauts' suits. ~, "<ol";t'~~ I lustrous: glowing 2 corrosion: chemical damage I untarnished: unchanged in colm 5 minted: made. manufactured j Macedonian: from an ancien! !'v!editerranean culture Part I Writing a Paragraph Unity and Coherence Consult Appendix B. Chart ofTransition Signal~, pages 255-257, for a comprehen­ sive list of these signals. The concluding sentence signals the end of the paragraph and leaves the reader with important points to remember: In conclusion, gold is treasured not only for its beauty but also for its· utility. In addipon to the three structural parts of a paragraph, a good paragraph also has the elements of unity and coherence. Unity means that you discuss only one main idea in a paragraph. The main idea is stated in the topic sentence, and then each and every supporting sentence develops that idea. If, for example, you announce in your topic sentence that you are going to discuss two important characteristics of gold, discuss only those. Do not discuss any other ideas, such as the price of gold or gold mining. Coherence means that your paragraph is easy to read and understand because (1) your supporting sentences are in some kind of logical order and (2) your ideas are connected by the use of appropriate transition signals. For example, in the paragraph about gold, there are two supporting ideas: Gold is beautiful, and gold is useful. Each of these supporting ideas is discussed, one after the other, and an example is given for each one. This is one kind of logical order. Furthermore, the relationship between the ideas is clearly shown by using appropriate transition words and phrases such as first ofall, for example, another important characteristic, and in conclusion. • In summary, a well-written paragraph contains five elements: a topic sentence, supporting sentences, a concluding sentence, unity, and coherence. In Pan I of this book, you will study and practice each of these elements. The Finished Usually, instructors accept either handwritten or typed (on a typewriter or computer) Assignment assignments. Follow the instructions below to format the aSSignments you prepare for this class. Your instructor may assign other formats as well. Format Paper Handwritten: Standard 8 Y2 by 11 inch white binder paper. Remember that the holes are on the left. Write on one side only. TYped: Standard 8 Y2 by 11 inch white typing paper. Type on one side only. Assignment Both handwritten and typed: Identification • In the upper right-hand corner, write or type your name, the course title and/or number, and the due date. • In the upper left-hand corner, write or type the practice number and/or name of the assignment and the page number. Title Handwritten: Center the title on the top line of the first page. 1Jped: Center the title about 1 Y2 inches from the top of the first page. Body Handwritten: • Begin writing on the third line after skipping a line. • Indent the first line of every paragraph about one inch from the margin. • Write on every other line. TYped: • Begin typing after skipping four single-spaced lines. • Indent the first line of every paragraph five spaces. • Double space; that is. leave one blank line between each line of typing. Chapter 2 What Is a Paragraph? An Overview Position of Topic Sentences The following sentence, on the other hand. is too specific: The slang expression so long (meaning "goodbye") is probably a corruption of the Arabic salaam. Sentences such as the following may be too general: English is a difficult language to learn. The topic sentence may be the first or last sentence in a paragraph. The topic sen­ tence may also be the first and last sentence of the paragraph- "sandwich-style." A sandwich-style paragraph is especially helpful to your reader if the paragraph is very long. The second topic sentence in the sandwich-style paragraph also serves as a con­ cluding sentence. Study the following three paragraphs. Notice the different positions for the topic sentence in each. The topic sentences are underlined. MODEL Position ofTopic Sentences Hurricanes Hurricanes. which are also called c;yclones. exert tremendoys powee These violent storms are often a hundred miles in diameter. and their winds can reach velocities I of seventy-five miles per hour or more. Furthermore. the strong winds and heavy rainfall that accompany them can completely destroy a 5 small town in a couple of hours.The energy that is released by a hurricane in one day exceeds the total ellt::fgy consumed by humankind throughout the world in one year. Medical Miracles to Come By the year 2009. a vaccine2 against the common cold will have been developed. By the same year, the first human will have been successfully cloned.3 By the year 2014. parents will be able to create designer children. Genetic therapy will be able to manipulate genes for abilities. intelligence. and 5 hair. eye, and skin color. By 2020. most diseases will be able to be diagnosed and treated at home. and by 2030. cancer and heart disease will have been wiped out. These are just a few examples of medical miracles that are expected in the next few decades. Synonyms Synonyms. words that have the same basic mean inc. do not always haye the same emotional meanina. For example. the words stingy and frugol both mean "careful with money." However. to call a person stingy is an insult, while the word frugal has a much more positive connotation.4 Similarly. a person 5 wants to be slender but not skinny. and aggreSSive but not pushy. Therefore. you should be careful in thoosinl words because many so-called synonyms are not really synonymous at all. I velocities: speeds '" 2 vac:clne: substance that prevents a specific disease such as smallpox or polio 3 cioned:a~:t:n exact copy of 4 connO~_OSitiVe or negative meaning J\~ Part 1 Writing a Paragraph PRACTICE I Recognizing 1bpic Sentences ( )­ "Iif~ Ip,. ;' A ;! 1.k Remember. the topic sentence indicates the main idea ofa paragraph and is the most general statement in the paragraph. STEP I Decide which of the following sentences is the topic sentence of the paragraph. STEP 2 Write T5 on the line next to that sentence. STEP 3 Decide the order of the supporting sentences and number them 551, SS2, 553, and so on. Paragraph I __a. It enables customers to do severa.l banking transactions twenty-four hours a day. l i ~ b. In addition, a customer ca.n transfer funds between accounts or get a cash advance on a credit card. ___'_c. An automated teller machine (ATM) is a convenient miniature bank. For example, a customer ca.n use an ATM to deposit money and wtthdra.w-)-4. a limited amount of cash. Paragraph 1 __a. After an attack by a great white, 462 stitches were required to sew up an Austra.lia.n scuba. diver. __b. With their razor-sharp teeth and strong jaws, great white sharks are very dangerous . .__ c. Nevertheless, one did just tha.t near a public beach in Austra.li& in 1985. __d. Even when they &tta.ck humans, however, great whites do not usually eat them. __•• It bit in h&1f and totally devoured) a young female swimmer. __ f. Great whites do not usually attack humans, but when they do, they always cause seriOUS 1I:Uury and even death. Paragraph 3 _._ a. Another importa.nt change was that people had the freedom to live and work wherever they wanted. __b. The earliest sigDifica.nt change was for farming f&m.llies, who were no longer iSo~ted. __ c. The final maJor change brought by the automobUe was the buUding of superhighways, suburbs, huge shopping centers, and many theme parks such as DiSney WOl\ld, in Florl~ ., "'!. !. ~ .• Q-. : -.', l. cJ. __4. The automobUe revollitlon1Z8d. the Amer1ca.n way of life. ___ e. The automobUe enabled them to drive to towns and c1tles comfortably and conveniently. _f. In fact, people could work in a busy metropolitan city and drive home to the quiet suburbs. I devoured: ate The Two Parts o/aTopic Sentence Chapter 2 What Is a Pamgraph? An Overview Paragraph 4 _.__ a. In time, this melted part rtses as a magma. 2 n r ~b. The formation of a volcanic eruption is a dramatic series of events. ---:.-G. As the plate3 sinks, friction and the earth's hea.t cause part of it to melt. .. __d. -'The magma produces heat. steam, and pressure. -I ~ . _I.__ • e First of all, most volcanoes are formed where two plates oollide.4 -l-t. Then one of the plates is forced under the other and sinks. -Lg. When the hea.t, steam, and pressure from the magma f1na.lly reach the surface of the Earth,a volcanic eruption occurs. A topic sentence has two essential parts: the topic and the controlling idea. The topic names the subject, or main idea. of the paragraph. The controlling idea makes a spe­ cific comment about the topic, which indicates what the rest of the paragraph will say about the topic. It limits or controls the topic to a specific aspect of the topic to be dis­ cussed in the space of a single paragraph. TOPIC CONTROWNG IDEA ~onvenience foody are easy to prepare. In this example. the topic is named: convenience foods. A specific comment is then made about the topic: They are easy to prepare. From this sentence, the reader immediately knows that the supporting sentences in the remainder of the paragraph will explain or prove how quick and easy it is to prepare convenience fooCts and per­ haps give some examples (frozen dinners, canned soups. etc.). CONTROWNG IDEA .TOPIC The native foods ofAmerica's immiKrant population are reflected in(American cooking) In this example, the topic is American food. The controlling idea of this topic sen­ tence is that Americans eat many foods from other countries. Therefore, the reader should expect the paragraph to give examples of popular ethnic foods such as fried rice (Chinese), lacos (Mexican), sauerbraten (German), sukiyaki (Japanese), spaghet­ ti (italian). and so on. . TOPIC CONTROlliNG IDEA (!he average American teenageQ consumes enormoys quantities of junk food. In this example. the topic is the average American teenager. The contrBlling idea abuut the topic states that the American teenager eats junk food. Thus, the rest of the paragraph should discuss the quantities and types of junk food that American teenagers eat (soft drinks. potato chips, candy bars, etc.). 2 magma: melted rock inside the earth 3 plate: rigid section nf rock • collide: clash Part I .Writing a Paragraph B. Write two or three topic sentences for each ofthe fonowing topics. In other words, give two or three controlling ideas for the same topic. Example Topic: Television's effects on children Topic sentences: (I) Television is harmful to children because it teaches them violence as a way of solving problems. (2) Television retards· a child's reading ability. Smoking cigarettes Ponution Foreign travel Touring your hometown Prejudice C. With your classmates, choose three topics that interest you as a group. Write a topic sentence for each topic. Be sure to include a controlling idea. The'Concludlng Sentence Now that you know how to write a good topic sentence for a paragraph, you should also learn how to write a good concluding sentence. A concluding sentence is not absolutely necessary; in fact. a concluding sentence is not customary for every para­ graph in a multiparagraph essay. However, for single paragraphs. especially long ones, a concluding sentence is helpfi.Jl to the reader because it signals the end of the para­ graph and because it is a reminder of the important points. . A concluding sentence serves three purposes: I. It signals the end of the paragraph. 2. It summarizes the main points of the paragraph. 3. It gives a final comment on the topic and leaves the reader with the most important ideas to t~nk about. Use one of the follOwing end-or-paragraph signals to introduce your concluding sentence: END-Of-PARAGRAPH SIGNALS THESE ARE FOLLOWED BY A COMMA Finally, As a result. In conclusion. Indeed. In summary, In brief. Therefore, In short. Thus. THESE ARE NOT FOLLOWED BY A COMMA We can see that ... k is clear that ... I IThese examples show that .. '. I I There can be no doubt that ... I The evidence suggests that ... I_J 1 retards: slows down Chapter 2 What Is a Paragraph? ~ Overview The examples that follow demonstrate two different types of concluding sen­ tences. The first one paraphrases the topic sentence; that is, the concluding sentence repeats the main idea of the topic sentence in different words. The second example summarizes the two main points of the paragraph, which were not specifically stated in the topic sentence. MODEL Concluding Sentences PRACTICE 4 Writing Concluding Sentences Synonyms Synonyms. words that have ths same basic meaoina. do not always have the same emotional meanin,. For example, the words stingy and frugol both mean "careful with money." However, to call a person stingy is an insult, while the word frugol has a much more positive connotation. Similarly. a person J wants to be slender but not skinny. and aggressive but not pushy. Therefore. you shoyld be careful in choosina words becayse many so-called synonyms are not reall)' synoQ)1Dous at all. Gold "ald. a precious meta!. is prized for two jmportaot characteristi", Arst of all.lOld has a lustrous beauty that is resistant to corrosion. Therefore. it is suitable for jewelry, coins, and ornamental purposes. Gold never needs to be polished and will remain beautiful forever. For example, a Macedonian coin J remains as untarnished today as the day it was minted twenty-three centuries . -::;~" '- ­ ::.. '].'.'.'., ;:: ~J :!~'~:1 ,'*;\. •...:,;.'....;\1 _ -,W "' ...,.; ,f·· '?ti ~1,] ~rit·: ~~ . :;:, f,.•:) ;.<1 1 110. Another important characteristic of gold is its usefulness to industry and~;,~ science. For many years. It has been used in hundreds of industrial applications.:."l The most recent use of gold is In astronauts' suits. Astronauts wear gold- ;';~1 plated heat shields for protection outside spaceships. In conclusion. COld Is;::11 fO treasured not only for Its beaut)' but also for jq util:ty, . };~ v<. ""~ STEP 1 Underline the topic sentence in each paragraph. STEP 2 Determine the main idea of each paragraph, STEP 3 Add a good concluding sentence to each. You may either paraphrase the topic sentence or summarize the main points. STEP.. Begin each concluding sentence with an end-of-paragraph signal. Paragraph I You ca.n be a good conversatlona.llst by being a good listener. When you a.re convers1ng with someone, pay olose attention to the speaker's words while looking &t his or her face. Show your interest by smiling &nd/or nod­ ding. Furthermore, don't interrupt while someone is spea.king; it is impolite to 5 do so. If you h&ve a good story, wait untU the speaker is finished. Also, . watch your body languagej it ca.n affect your communication whether you a.re the speaker or the listener. For instance, don't sit slumped in a ohair or make nervous hand and foot movements, Be relaxed &nd bend your body slightly forward to show interest '1nthe person and the conversation. _______ ---------------------------------------------- Par1 I Writing a Paragraph Paragraph 2 Modern communication technology is driving workers in the corporate world crazy. They feel buried under the large number of messages they receive daily. In addition to telephone calls, office workers receive dozens of E-mail and voice mail messages daily. In one company, in fact, managers 5 receive an average of 100 messages a day. Because they don't ha.ve enough time to respond to these messages during office hours, it is common for them to do so in the evenings or on weekends at home. Review WRITING PRACTICE You may wish to use both coordination and subordination sentence patterns. Refer to Coordination ¥s. Su~n on pages 163-164. These are the important points you should have learned from this chapter: I. A good topic sentence • Is a complete sentence with a subject, a verb. and a controlling idea • Is neither too general nor too specific. It states clearly what the main idea of the paragraph is but does not include specific details • Is usually the first sentence in the paragraph :1. A good concluding sentence • Signals the end of the paragraph • Summarizes the important points briefly or restates the topic sentence in different words Choose one of the topics from Practice 3B (page 26) and write a paragraph ten to fif­ teen sentences in length. Remember the steps in the writing process: STEP I Prewriting STEP :1 Planning STEP J Writing STEP 4 Editing STEP S Rewriting STEP 6 Brainstorm for Parallelism: You have already completed this step. Develop an outline that includes a topic sentence and a concluding . sentence (if necessary). Underline them. Write a rough draft. Ask a classmate to check your rough draft against the Peer Editing Checklist that follows. Write a second draft. and proofread it for grammar and mechanics. Write a final copy to hand in. Chapter 3 Unity and Outlining related to each other. For example, you could disfuSS gas economy and low mainte­ nance costs in the same paragraph because they are closely related, but you should not discuss both gas economy and easier parking in the same paragraph because they are not closely related. The second part of unity is that every supporting sentence must directly explain or prove the main idea that is stated in the topic sentence. Do not include any infor­ mation that does not directly support the topic sentence. Sometimes students write supporting sentences that are "off the topic." These are called irrelevant sentences. For example, if you are writing a paragraph about the high cost of college tuition, you could mention inflation2 as a factor. However. if you write several sentences about inflation, you are getting off the topic. and your paragraph will not have unity. Study the three paragraphs that follow. All of them discuss the same topic. In your opinion, which paragraph has unity and which two do not? Which paragraph dis­ cusses more than one topic? Which paragraph has irrelevant sentences? MODEL Paragraph I Pamgrtlphs with and The HIVIAIDS epidemic3 is still growing explosively in most partS of the ll'illxJtlI Unit)' world. In Central and Eastern Europe. HIV is spreading rapidly in countries that had almost no cases a few years ago. In China. there were an estimated 10.000 HIV-infected persons at the end of 1993. and this total grew ten-fold. to 100,000. 5 by the end of 1995. In the countries of sub-Saharan Africa. the HIV/AIDS epidemic rages on:' In Kenya. Malawi. Rwanda. Tanzania. Uganda, Zaml!>ia, and Zimbabwe. 10 percent of the women visiting postnatalS clinics in urban areas are infected with HIY, and in some areas. the rate is 40 percent. Mothers can give the HIV virus to their children during pregnancy and childbirth or when breast-feeding.The virus is 10 also transmitted through blood and blood products. For example. drug users who share needles may become infected.The main method of transmission is. of course, unprotected sex, which accounts for 7S to BS percent of infections. I Paragraph 2 The HIV/AIDS epidemic is still growing explosively in most parts of the world.I: In Central and Eastern Europe. HIV is spreading rapidly in countr~s that had almost no cases a few years ago. In China, there were an estimated 10.000 HIV­ I infected persons at the end of 1993. and this total grew ten-fold. to 100.000. by the ! s end of 1995. In the countries of sub-Saharan Africa. the HIV/AIDS epidemic rages on. In Kenya. Malawi. Rwanda. Tanzania. Uganda. Zambia. and Zimbabwe. 10 percent of the women visiting postnatal clinics in urban areas are infected with HI\/, and in some areas. the rate is 40 percent. Around the world. HIV infection rates are sky­ rocketing among sex workers.6 In Nairobi. Kenya. 80 percent of sex workers are /0 infected. and in Vietnam. the rate of infection climbed from 9 percent to 38 percent between 1992 and 1995. These statistics illustrate with frightening clarity that HIV/AIDS is still a major health problem in most areas of the world. tf,' , j' " ;"''::"l ,0' ,.... "',.rl J. 'f , :! inflation: decrease in rhe lialUt~ 01 money ., postnatal: afler childbirth .1 epidemic.": widespread disease (; sex workers: prostitutes. people 4 rages on: (()lltiIllU'S to spread (Usually women} who perform sexual acts for money Part J Writing a Paragraph ;- -------- ------­ Paragraph 3 The HIY/AIDS epidemic is still growing explosively in most parts of the world_ In Central and Eastern Europe. HIY is spreading rapidly in countries that had almost no cases a few years ago. In China. there were an estimated 10,000 HIY­ infected persons at the end of 1993. and this total grew ten-fold. to 100.000. by the 5 end of 1995.There is evidence that in the United States. the United Kingdom. Australia. and New Zealand. HIY infection rates are declining. at least among males. This is a result of a combination of prevention methods. In the countries of sub­ Saharan Africa. the HIY/AIDS epidemic rages on. In Kenya. Malawi. Rwanda. Tanzania. Uganda. Zambia. and Zimbabwe. 10 percent of the women visiting ponna­ 10 tal clinics in urban areas are infected with HIY. and in some areas. the rate is 40 percent. Although there is no cure for HIY/AIDS. new medicines are available that prolong the lives of people with HIV PRACTICE I A. The follOWing short essay has not been divided into paragraphs, but it should contain six: an introductory paragraph. four body paragraphs, and a concluding Ulli~J' paragraph. STEP 1 Read the entire essay once or twice. STEP 2 Decide where each new paragraph should begin. (When> does the author begin to discuss a different topic?) STEP 3 Underline the first sentence of each paragraph. CUlture, Logic, I and. Bhetoric Logic, which is the basis of rhetoriC, comes from culture; it is not universal. Rhetoric, therefore. is not universal either but varies from culture to culture. The rhetorical system of one language is neither better nor worse than the rhetorical system of another language. but it is d:lfferent. English lOgic and 5 English rhetoriC, which are based on Anglo-European cultural patterns, are llnear:-that is, a good English paragra.ph begins with a general statement of its content and then carefully develops that statement with a series of specif­ ic illustrations. A good English paragra.ph may also use just the reverse sequence: It may state a whole series of examples and then summarize those 10 examples in a single statement at the end of the paragraph. In either case, however, the flow of ideas occurs in a straight line from the opening sentence to the last sentence. Furthermore, a well-structured English paragra.ph is never digresslve. 3 There is noth.ing that does not belong to the pa.ragra.ph and nothing that does not support the topic sentence. A type of construction found 15 in Arabic and Persian writing is very different. Whereas English writers use a linear sequence. Ara.bic and Persian writers tend to construct a paragraph in a parallel sequence using many coordinators4 such as and. and 'bat;. In English, maturity of style 1s often judged by the degree of subordinationS ~ logic: way of thinking or reasoning 4 coordinators: words that join equal eJcment~ Z linear: in a straight line 5 subordination: the joining of two unequal element:; 3 digressive: wandering away from the main topic Chapter 3 Unity and Outlining • 2/1 25 3/1 35 B. 5 s rather than by the degree of coordination. Therefore, the Arabie and Persian styles of writing, with their emphasis on coordination, seem awkward and immature to an English reader. Some Asian writers, on the other hand, use an indirect approach. In this kind of writing, the topic is viewed from a vari­ ety of angles. The topic is never analyzed directly; it is referred to only indi­ rectly, Again, such a development in an English paragraph is awkward and unnecessarily vague6 to an English reader. Spanish rhetoric differs from English rhetoric' in still another way_ While the rules of English rhetoric require that every sentence in a paragraph relate directly to the central idea, a Spanish-speaking writer loves to fill a paragraph with interesting digres­ sions. Although a Spanish paragraph may begin and end on the same topic, the writer often digresses into areas that are not directly related to the topiC. Spanish rhetoric, therefore, does not follow the English rule of paragraph unity. In summary, a student who has mastered the grammar of English may still write poor papers unless he/she has also mastered the rhetoric of English. Also, the student may have difficulty reading an essay written by the rules of English rhetoric unless he/she understands the "logical" differ­ ences from those of his/her own native tongue. Both of the following paragraphs break the rule of unity because they contain one or more irrelevant sentences-sentences that do not directly support the topic sentence. STEP I Locate and underline the topic sentence of each paragraph. STEP 2 Find the irrelevant sentence(s) and cross them out. Paragraph I Adventure travel is the hot trend ill the tourism industry. Ordinary people are no longer content to spend their two weeks away from the office resting on a sunny beach in Hawaii. More and more often, they are choosing to spend their vacations rafting down wild rivers, hiking through steamy rain forests, climbing the world's highest mountains, or traversing7 slippery glaciers.K People of all ages are choosing educational study tours for their vacations. Paragraph 2 Daredevil9 sports are also becoming popular. Young people especial­ ly are increasingly willing to risk life and limb10 while mountain biking, backcountry snowboarding, or high-speed skateboarding. Soccer is also becoming popular in the United States, where it was not well known until recently. One of the riskiest new sports is skysurfing, in which people jump out of airplanes with graphite boards attached to their feet. Skysurfing rivals·· skydiving and bungee jumping for the amount of thrills-and risk. ~ vague: lll1l"lt'ar " daredevil: higb-Ilsk . Iraversing: goillg acft)~s III risk life and limb: take ;t chanCe ur injury til death " glaciers: .;[owly Illovi ng I iVl'ro; of in~ II rivals: compt'll-'s wirh # Part I Writing a Paragraph The "Pllrllilel Equal parts of an outline should be written in parallel form. This means that all ideas with the same kind of letter or number should have the same grammatical form; thatForm" Rule is, they all should be complete sentences, or all nouns, or all adjectives, or all prepo· sitional phrases. etc. In the first outline that follows. point A is a sentence. What are points B and C? I. The English language is constantly chan;ng. A Pronunciation has changed in the past Soo years. WRONG B. Some grammatical changes. C. VOCabulary. Indeed, English. like all living languages. is continually changing in pronunciation. grammar. and especially vocabulary. In the next outline, points A. B, and C are all nouns. This outline has parallel form. 2. The English language is constantly changing. A. Pronunciation. RIGHT B. Grammar. C. Vocabulary. Indeed, English. like all living languages. is continually changing in pronunciation, grammar, and especially vocabulary. In the following outline, points A, B. and C are all sentences. This outline also has Look at PoroIelism parallel form. (pages 166-169) for more information. 3. The English language is constantly changins- A Pronunciation has changed in the past Soo years. B. Some changes in grammar have occurred and are still occurring. RIGHT C. Vocabulary is the area of greatest change. Indeed, English, like all living languages is continually changing in pronunciation. grammar. and especially vocabulary. PRACTICE 1 Rewrite each of these outlines to make the support part parallel in form. MaRing Outlines I. San Francisco is famous for its tourist attractions. ParaUet A. Golden Gate Park is very famous. B. Chinatown. C. Fisherman's Wharf attracts hundreds of tourists. D. Riding the cable cars. For these four attractions alone. San Francisco is well worth a visit. 2. Gold, a precious metal. is prized for two important characteristics. A. It is beautiful. B. Usefulness to science and industry. In conclusion. gold is treasured not only for its beauty but also for its utilit}': Chapter 3 Unity and Outlining The Btjuiv.lent V.'fle Rule: o.tlines witb Dellliis 3. Medial researchers will produce some amazing advances in the very near future. A. By the year 2009. a vaccine against the c~n cold. B. Cloning of the first human in the same year. C. By the year 201... parents will be able to create designer children. D. By 2020, most diseases diagnosed and treated at home. E. By the year 2030, cancer and heart disease wiped out. These are just a few examples of medical miracles that are expected in the next few decades. In an outline, ideas that have the same kind of letter or number must have equal value. This is the "equivalent value" rule. This means that main supporting points all should have the same kind ofletter or number. Details should have a different kind of letter or number. Study the detailed outline that follows to see how this system works. MODEL DetailedParagraph Outline PRACTICE] OUtlines wiIb Details Learning to outline will improve your writing for three reasons. A. It will help you organize your ideas. I. You won't Include irrelevant ideas. 2. You won't leave out important points. 3. Your supporting sentences will be in logical order. B. It will help you write more quickly. I. It may take practice. 2. Seventy-five percent of the work is done. 3. You don't worry about what you are going to say. C. It will help you improve your grammar: You will be able to concentrate on it. Improved organization. speed. and grammar make learning to oudlne well worth the effort. Note: The detail under point C has no number because there is only one detail for it. A further outlining rule states, "If there is no B, there cannot be an A; if there is no 2, there cannot be a 1." Organize the items in the lists below and on page 38 into outlines. Give the items with equal value the same kind of letter or number. You may follow the system of capital letters and numbers used in the model above, or your instructor may recommend a different system. A.. Sports surfing scuba diving team sports wrestling fishing basketball soccer boxing basebaJI siding ice skating American footbaJI individual sports tennis hiking snowboarding volleyball marathon running bicycle racing Part I Writing a Paragraph .. Review Try to write some compound sentences with conjunctive adverbs instead of coordinating conjunctions.To learn how. see pages 157-159. B. Differences between British and American English bonnet/hood petrol/gas British people don't always defence I defense pronounce r grammar pronunciation the structure "have got" is nut used in colour Icolor American English vocabulary spelling biscuit/ cookie schedule: British say Ished-u-nl\. a is pronounced like a in fatller Americans SHY Isked-u-all in British English realise/realize These are the important points you should have learned from this chapler: I. Every good paragraph has unity. Discuss only one idea in each paragraph. All sup­ porting sentences must directly support the topic sentence. 1. An outline is useful as a plan for a paragraph. It organizes the ideas. Outlines should be written in parallel form and follow the equivalent value rule. Choose one of the suggested topics that follows, and \'\'Tite a paragraph thabis ten to fifteen sentences in length. Remember the steps in the \'\'Titing process: STEP I Brainstorm a topic for ideas. using the listening. freewriting. or cluster­ Prewritillg ing techniques you have learned. STEP 1 Develop an outline that includes a topic sentence and a concluding Planning sentence (if necessary). Underline them. STEP J Write a rough draft. Writing STEP 4 Have a classmate check your rough draft against the Peer Editing Editi1lg Checklist that follows. Make sure your paragraph has unity. STEP 5 Write a second draft, and proofread it for grammar and mechanics. Rewriting STEP 6 Write a final copy to hand in. Topic Suggestions HO\,\' have computers changed our lives? Impurtant skills or qualities of a doctor. veterinarian, engineer. kindergarten teacher. language learner. politician. world leader. businessman or businesswoman. etc. The source(s) of one type of pollution Chapter 4 Coherence transition signals to show how one idea is related to the next. The fourth way to achieve coherence is to arrange your sentences in logical order. You will practice the first three ways to achieve coherence in this chapter. and you will learn about logical order as well. Repetition ofKey Nouns MODEL Paragraph l10ftb Coberence The easiest way to achieve coherence is to' repeat key nouns frequently in your paragraph. Look at the model paragraph about gold [0 see how it uses this technique to achieve coherence. The key noun in this paragraph is gold. Circle the word gold and all pronouns that refer to it. Gold C;old. a precious metal. is prized for two important characteristics. First of all. gold has a lustrous beauty that is resistant to corrosion. Therefore. it is suitable for jewelry. coins. and ornamental purposes. Gold never needs to be polished and will remain beautiful forever: For example. a Macedonian coin remains as untarnished today as the s day it was minted twenty-three centuries ago. Another Important characteristic of gold is its usefulness to industry and science. For many years. it has been used in hundreds Of industrial applications. The most recent use of gold is in astronauts' suits. Astronauts wear gold-plated heat shields for proteCtion outside spaceships. In conclusion, gold is treasured not only for its beauty but also for its utility. , You should have circled the noun gold seven times, the pronoun it twice. and the pronoun its three times. (The word it in line 5 refers to coin. not gold. so you should not have circled it.) There is no fixed rule about how often to repeat key nouns or when to substitute pronouns. At the very least, you need to repeat a key noun instead of using a pronoun when the meaning is not clear. Throughout the following paragraph, the word gold has been replaced by pro­ nouns. making the paragraph much less coherent. MODEL Pamgl'Clpb without (()/Jerellce Gold Gold. a precious metal, is prized for two important characteristics. First of all, it has a lustrous beauty that is resistant to corrosion. Therefore. it is suitable for jewelry. coins. and ornamental purposes. It [lever needs to be polished and will remain beautiful forever. For example, a Macedonian coin remains as untarnished s today as the day it was minted twenty-three centuries ago. Another of its important characteristics is its usefulness to industry and science. For many years. it has been used in hundreds of industrial applications. Its most recent use is i.n astronauts' suits. Astronauts wear heat shields made from it for protection outside spaceships. In conclusion, it is tl"easured not dAlJffo~ its beauty but also for its utility. Part I Writing a Paragraph PRACTICE I A. In the folJowing paragraph. the key noun is.never repeated. Replace the pronoun it with the key noun English wherever you think doing su would make the Repetition ofK£..1' NOU1lS paragraph more coherent. IbIglish EngJ.1sh has almost become an internationaJ. Ia.ngu&ge. Except for Chinese, more people speak it t.ha.n a.ny other Ia.ngua.ge. SpaniSh is the officia.l language of more countries in the world, but more countries have it as their official or unofficial second J.a.ngua.ge. More than 70 percent of the world's mall is written s in it. It is the primary language on the Internet. In international business, it is used more than a.ny other Ia.ngua.ge, and it is the language of airline pilots and air traffic controllers all over the world. Moreover, although French used to be the la.nguage of diplomacy, it has displaced it throughout the world. Therefore, unless you plan to spend your life alone on a desert island in the middle of the /0 PacifiC Ocean, it is a useful la.ngua.ge to know. B. In the following passage about dolphins. replace some of the pronouns With appropriate singular or plural nouns. Dolphins Dolphins are interesting because they display almost human behavior at times. For example, they display the human emotions of jOy and .sadness. Du:ri.ng tra.ining, when they do something correctly, they squea.l excitedly and. race toward their trainer. When they make a mistake, however, they droop' s noticeably a.nd mope2 around their pool. Furthermore, they help each other when they a.re in troublp-. If one is Sick, it sends out a. message, and others in the area swim to help it. They push it to the surface of the wa.ter so that it can breathe. They stay with it for days or weeks-until it recovers or dies. They have also helped trapped or lost whales· navigate their way safely out to 10 the open sea. They are so intel11gent and helpful, in fact, that the U.S. Na.vy is training them to become underwater bomb disposal experts. Use ofConsistent Pronouns When you use pronouns instead of key nouns, make sure that you use the same per­ son and number throughout your paragraph. Don't change from you to he or she (change of person), or from he to they (change of number). J droop: sink down 2 mope: act depressed Chapter 4 Coherence • PRACTICE 1 In the following paragraph, the pronouns are not consistent. Correct them to make Using Consistent this paragraph more coherent. PronoU11S OlympicAWeta OlymPiC a.thletes must be strong both physicaJly a.nd mentally. First of aJl, if you hope to compete in an Olympic sport, you must be physicaJ],y strong. Furthermore, aspi.ring" Olympians must train rigOrously. for many years. For the most demanding .Sports, t.hey train severa.1 hours a day, five or siX days a week., 5 for ten or more years. In add.1t1on to being pbysicaJly strong, he or she must also be m.enta.lly tough. This means that you have to be totalJ;y dedicated to your sport, often g1v1ng up a normal school. family. a.nd SOCial life. Being mentally strong also means that he or she must be able to withsta:nd the intense pressure of interna­ tiOnal competition with its attendants media6 coverage. J:I'inalJy, not everyone can If win a medal, so t.hey must possess the inner strength to live with defeat. Transition Signals PRACTICE 1 T1'llllsilion SjgllaL~ Transition signals are words such as first. second. next. finally. therefore, and however. or phrases such as in conclusion. on the other hand. and as a result. Think of transition signals as traffic signs that tell your reader when to go forward. turn. slow down, and stop. In other words. they tell the reader when you are giving a similar idea (similarly. moreover. furthermore, in addition). an opposite idea (on the other hand, however, in colltrast), an example (jor example). a result (as a resuLt), or a conclusion (ill conclllsion). Using transition words as a gUide makes it easier for your reader to follow your ideas. Transition words give your paragraph coherence. Compare paragraphs 1 and 2 that follow. Both paragraphs give the same information, yet one paragraph is easier to understand than the other because it contains transi­ tion signals to lead the reader from one idea to the next. Which paragraph contains transition signals and is more coherent? Circle all of the transition signals that you can identify. Paragraph I A difference among the world's seas and oceans is that the Salinity1 va.ries in different climate zones. The Baltic Sea in Northern Europe is only one·fourth as saline8 as the Red Sea in the Middle East. There are reasons for this. In warm climates, water evaporates9 rapidly. The concentration lO of salt 5 is greater. The surrounding i.a.nd is dry and does not contribute much lresD. water to dilute" the salty sea water. In cold climate zones, water eva.porates slowly. The I'UIloff created by melting snow adds a considerable amount of fresh water to dilute the saline sea water. 3 aspiring: hopeful ; salinity: salt moten! I rigorously: sfricdy. withom weaknelis R saline: sail:}' 5 attendant: accompanying q evaporates: dries up 1\ media: radio, television. newspapers. 10 concentration: amount and magazines I' dilute: reduce the concclUration of Part J Writing a Paragraph ... Look at Compound Sentences with Coordinotors on pages 155-157 for more examples. Conjullctil'l' Adl'el'bs • Conjunctive adverbs (except too) may a]so appear at the' beginning. in the middle. or at the end of sentences. and arc separated by (':ommas. Furthermore, the runoff created by melting snow adds a considerable amount of fresh water to dilute the saline' sea water. The runoff created by melting snow. furthermore. adds a considerable amount of fresh water to dilute the saline sea water. My parents want me to become an engineer. however. • Conjunctive adverbs are a1so often used with a semicolon and a comma to join tW() independent clauses I to form a compound sentence. In warm climate zones. water evaporates rapidly; therefore. the concentration of salt is greater. The company's sales increased last year; nevertheless. its net profit declined. • Most transition phrases may also fol1ow this pattern. Many societies in the world are matriarchal: that is. the mother is head of the family. Some English words do not have exact equivalents in other languages; for example, there is no German word for the adjective fair, as in fo;r ploy. Clause Connectors Coordinating C011jUllctions • The five coordinating conjunctions in the chan (plus two additional ones. for and nor) are used with a comma to join two independent clauses to form a compound sentence. In a matriarchy, the mother is the head of the family. and all of the children belong to her clan.2 In warm climate zones, water evaporates rapidly, so the concentration of salt is greater . The company's sales increased last year. yet its net profit declined. • Yet and but have similar meanings: They both signal that an opposite idea is coming. Yet is preferred when the second clause is an unexpected or surprising contrast to the first clause. When the two clauses are direct opposites. but is preferred. Thomas Edison dropped out of school at age twelve. yet he became a famous inventor. I want to study art. but my parents want me to become an engineer: • Yet is similar in meaning to nevertheless, and but is similar to however. I Independent dause: 5ubjl'ct + verh + wmplemcnt that express a complete thought 2 clan: extended family group You wiN find a lot of infor­ mation about subordinat­ ing conjunctions in Chapcer 12 about adver­ bial clauses. PRACTICE 4 Recognizing 7'raIlSitioll Signu/s Chapter 4 Coherence Subordinating Conjunctions These words (and many others including because, when, and so that) introduce a dependent clause,' which is joined to an independent clause to form a complex sen­ tence. There are two possible positions for the dependent clause: • If the dependent clause comes before the independent clause, use a comma after it. Although the company's sales increased last year. its net profit declined. • If the independent clause comes first. do not use a comma. The company's net profit declined last year; although its sales increased. Otbers The transition signals in this group include adjectives such as addidonal. preposi­ tions such as in spite of, and nouns such as example. There are no special punctua­ tion rules for this group. The company's net profit declined last year in spite of increased sales. Despite increased sales, the company's net profit declined last year. (The comma is necessary because the prepositional phrase comes before the subject of the sentence.) An additional reason (or the company's bankruptcy was the lack of competent management. Examples of vocabulary differences between British and American English include bonnet/hood. petrol/gasoline. windscreen/windshield, and lorry/truck. STEP 1 Circle all of the transition signals in the following paragraphs. STEP 2 Punctuate the transition signals if necessary. Genetic"' Engineering Genetic research has produced both exciting and frightening possibilities. S"cientiSts are now able to create new forms of life in the laboratory due to the development of gene spliCing. 5 On the one hand the ability to crea.te life in the laboratory could greatly benefit humankind. For example it is very s expensive to obtain insulin!; from natura.! sources but through genetiC research, SCientists have now developed a way to manufacture it inexpensive­ ly in the laboratory. Another benefiCia.! application of gene splicing is in agri­ culture. Genetic engineers have created a new tomato that doesn't spoil quiok­ ly. Consequently toma.to farmers can now let the tomatoes ripen on the plant /0 and develop full flavor and color before they are picked-no more green, :1 dependent clause: subordinating ronjunnion + suhject t verb + complement [hut express all. incomplete thought • genetic: itom gene. the unit of heredity 5 gene splicing: gene joining . 6 insulin: substance needed by' people who have diahet(;!;. Pal1 I Wrilino a Paraoraphb ~ flavorless tomatoes in grocery stores! In addition genetic engineers have cre­ ated larger fish, frost-resistant strawberries, and more productive cows. On the other hand not everyone is positive about gene-splicing technology. Some people feel that it could have terrible consequences. A laoora.tory &cci­ 15 dent for example might cause an epidemic of an unknown disease that could wipe out humanity. Furthermore the ability to clone human beings is a possi­ bility that frightens many people. In 1993, a researcher at George Washington University Medical Center cloned human embryos I by splitting single embryos into twins and triplets. These embryos did not develop into 20 babies but it is possible that they could do so in the future. Because human embryos can be frozen and used at a later date, it could be possible for par­ ents to have a child and then, years later, to use a cloned, frozen embryo to give birth to its identical twin. PRACTICE S A. STEP 1 Choose the transition signal that best shows the relationship between the sentences in each group from the choices given in parentheses. CbOOSillg T1Y:msitioll Write the signal in the space. Signals STEP 2 Add punctuation and change capital letters to small letters if necessary. Note: All of the transition signals in this practice are sentence connectors. This is to give you more practice in using and punctuating this type of transition signal correctly. Example A recent article in E.ro magazine suggested ways to reduce inflation. The article suggested that the president reduce the federal budget; furthermore it suggested that the government reduce federal, state. and local taxes. (howe¥er. in con­ trast, furthermore) 1. The same article said that the causes of inflation were easy to find the cure for inflation was not so easy to prescribe. (however, for eaamp1e, therefore) &. :Er.a. also suggested that riSing wages w~re one of the primary causes of inflation the government should take action to control wages. (however, therefore, for esample) 3. In phySiCS, the weight of an object is the gra.vitational force2 with which the Earth attracts it if a man weighs 150 pounds, this means that the earth pulls him down with a force of 150 pounds. (moreover, therefore, for esample) 4. The farther away from the Earth a person is, the less the gravitational force of the Earth a man weighs less when he is 50,000 miles from the Earth than when he 1s only 5,000 miles away. (in conclwdon, therefore, however) I embryo: organism at the very heginning stage of life 2 gravitational force: the force that pulls things toward the Earth Chapter 4 Coherence LOlklll 3 Ortler On I Compucer. it is easy to mowe sentences around and chanp their order. Try it and lind which sentence order supportS each kind eI Iosial order. PRACTICE 7 Recognizing KintIs of Logiad Orders In addition to using transition signals and repeating leey nouns and pronouns, a founh way to achieve coherence is to arrange your sentences in some kind of logical oJder. Your choice ofone kind of logical order over another will. of course. depend on your topic and on your purpose. You may even combine two or more different logical orders in the same paragraph. The important point to remember is to arrange your ideas in some kind of order that is logical to a reader accustomed to the English way ofwriting. Some common kinds of logical order in English are chronological order; logical divi­ sion ofideas, and comparison/contrast. [n this chapter, you will learn to recognize some of the logical orders; in later chapters. you will learn to write them. Each kind of order has its own special words and phrases to show the relation­ ships among the ideas. For example. in a piece of writing using chronological ofder. you would expect to find a lot of time expressions: first. next. alter 'that. finally. before the last war. after 1990. since then, in 20 I 0, while Working on the project. etc. In a paragraph describing differences (contrast). you would find these expressions: the most noticeable difference. larger than, unlike. on the other hand. in contrast. dif­ fer from Ina paragraph showingsimilarities (comparison), you would find these expressions: similarity. similarly. as expensive as, just as. just like. compare with, in comparison Logical division of ideas is another common method of organizing ideas to give a paragraph coherence. Ideas are put into groups, and each group is c1iscussed one after the other. Transition words such as first. second. third introduce each group. Read the foRowing paragraphs and decide which kind of logical order is used in-each: comparison/contrast. chronological order. or logical division of ideas. Be able to dis­ cuss the reasons for your choice. Circle all transition signals. Parqraph I Powerful computerS capable of translating documents from one la.ngUage into another have recent.\Y been developed in Japan. The process of ma.ch.ine transJa­ .t1on is comp1ex. To translate & document. from English into Japanese, for example, tJ;Je computer first analyZes an English sentence, deteX'JDin1ng 1ts gra.mmeticaJ I. 5 structure and identifying the subject, verb, oqjects, and modifiers. Next, the words are translated. by an English-Japanese dictionary. After that, another part of the computer program. ~ the resulting awkward. jumble4 of words and mea.ningS and produces an intelligible sentence based on the rules of Japanese syntax! and the machine's understanding of what the orig1n.al English sentence meant. Fina.lly, tile computer-produced trans1ation is polished by a hllIDB.n bilingual editor. IGnd oHogical order: 1 logical: according to what is reasonable and sensible; having a consistent pattern •Jumble:: confused m~ture i . . s syntax: sentence structure Part I Writing a Paragraph Paragraph 2 French and American business managers have decidedly different man agement styles. French meetings, for example, are long and rambling! and rarely end on time. Furthermore, meetings often end without closure.2 Americans, on the other hand, make an effort to start and stop a meeting on S time, and American business meetings typically end With decisions and action plans. Another difference involves documentation. Americans adore documen­ tation; they have a procedure manual for everything. The FrenCh, in contrast, think this is childish. French managers find it difficult to stick to a schedule, but American managers are intolerant of delays. In addition, the French pre· 10 fer to work alone. whereas Americans like to work in teams. Another major difference in management style is that in French companies, authority comes from the top; French managers do not share information with subordinates and make deciSiOns with little participation by employees beneath them. In American companies, however. top managers share information and frequent- IS ly solicit' input from subordinates. Kind of logical order: Paragraph 3 It took more than 2,500 years to develop the calendar used in most Western countries today. In about 700 B.C.E.,· the ancient Romans used a cal­ endar that had 304 days divided into ten months; March was the beginning of each year. There were more than 60 days missing from the calendar, and so s very soon, the calendar didn't match the seasons at all. Spring arrived when the calendar said that it was still winter. A few decades later, the Romans added the months of January and February to the end of the year. This calen­ dar lasted about 600 years. Then in 46 B.C.E., Julius Caesar, the Roman ruler, made a new calendar. HiS calendar had 365 days, with one day added 10 every fourth year. He also moved the beginning of the year to January 1, and he renamed a month for himself: Julius (July). In Caesar's calendar, February had 29 days. The very next emperor, Augustus, not only renamed a month for himself (August), but he &Iso took one day from February and added it to August so that "his" month would be just as long as Caesar's. This U calendar worked better than the previous ones, but it still wasn't perfect. By 1580, the first calendrical day of spring was ten days too early, so in 1582, Pope Gregory xm, the leader of the Roman Catholic religion, made a small change to make the calendar more a.ccura.t.e. In the Gregorian calendar, the year is still 26.3 seconds different from the solar year, but it will be a long 20 time before this causes a problem. Kind of logical order: I. rambling: not focused on a specific goal 2 closure: decisions about points discussed 3 solicit: ask for .. B.C.E.: Before the Common Era (the Common Era began in the year 1) Chapter 4 Coherence Paragraph 4 The many different calendars used throughout the world are &1l based either on the phases of the moon, on the revolution of the Earth aroWld the SWl, or on a combination of these. The first kind of calendar is the IWlar cal· endar, which is based on the phases of the moon. A month is calcu.la.ted as 5 the time between two full moons, 29.5 days, and a year has 354 days. The Islamic calendar used in Muslim cOWltries is a lunar calendar. It has twelve months and a cycle of thirty years in which the 2nd, 5th, 7th, 10th, 13th, 16th, 18th, 21st, 24th, 26th, and 29th years have 355 days, and the others 354 days. A second kind of calendar is the solar calendar, which is based on 10 the revolution of the Earth aroWld the SWl. The ancient Egyptians used a solar calendar divided into twelve months of thirty days each, which left f1ve WlcoWlted days at the end of each year. A very accura.te calendar developed by the Mayan Indians in North America was also a solar calendar. It had 365 days, 364 of which were divided into 28 weeks of 13 days each. The new 15 year began on the 365th day. Because the solar year is exactly 365 days, 5 hours, 48 minutes, and 46 seconds long, however, a solar calendar is not tota.lly accurate, so many cultures developed a third kind of calendar, the lunisolar calendar. In a lunisolar calendar, extra. days are added every so often to reconcileS the IWl&r months with the solar year. The Chinese, 20 Hebrew, and Gregorian calendars used today are lunisolar calendars. Kind of logical order: . Review These are the important points you should have learned from this chapter: I. Every good paragraph has coherence. Coherence is achieved by • Repeating key nouns frequently. • Using pronouns consistently. • Using transition signals to show the relationship of one idea to the next. • Stating your ideas in some kind of logical order. 1. Transition signals can be transition phrases. conjunctive adverbs. coordinating conjunctions, subordinating conjunctions, prepositions, adjectives, or nouns. Each type of transition signal is punctuated differently . .1. Some common kinds of logical order in English are chronological order, logical division of ideas, and comparison/contrast. 5 reconcile: bring together CHAPTER 5 Kinds of Logical Order t'..,··.. Ancient Greek tabl~t Introduction In Chapter 4, you learned that writing your ideas in some kind oflogical order is nec­ essary to achieve coherence. You also learned to recognize three of the common kinds of logical orders in English-chronological order, logical division of ideas, and com­ parison/contrast. In this chapter, you will practice using them in paragraphs. 56 Chapter 5 Kinds of Logical Order Chronological Order Chronological order is one of the easiest methods of organization to master. Chronos is a Greek word meaning time. Chronological order, therefore, is a way of organizing the ideas in a paragraph in the order of their occurrence in time. Chronological order is used for something as simple as a recipe and for some· thing as complex as a history book. In academic writing, chronological order has many uses. One of the primary ways you might use it is to write a historical narrative about the subject of a term paper. For example, you might review the history of labor unions before you discuss the current situation. However. chronological order is not just used for historical narratives; it is also used in business, science, and engineering to explain processes and procedures. For example, chronological order would be used to explain how to take a photograph. how to perform a chemistry experiment, or how to set up an accounting system. Such para· graphs are called "how to" or "process" paragraphs. There are two keys to writing a good chronological paragraph: I. Discuss the events (in a narrative) or the steps (in a process) in the order in which they occur. l.. Use chronological transition signals to indicate the sequence of events or steps. Analyze the following model paragraphs for their organization by time. Circle any words or expressions that indicate time order (/irst, next, after that, in 1971, etc.). The nest model reviews very briefly the history of computers. The second model is an example of a process paragraph. It explains the process of cloning. MODEL Chronological Order: Narration The Evolution I of Computers In the relatively short span of sixty years. there has been an incredible evolution in the size and capabilities of computers.Today. computer chips smaller than the tip of your fingernail have the same capabilities as the room-sized machines of years ago.The first computers were developed around 1945.They were so large that they 5 reqUired special air·conditioned rooms. About twenty years later. in the 19605. desk. sized computers were developed. This represented a gigantic advance. Before the end of that same decade. however. a third generation of computers. which used simple integrated circuits and which were even smaller and faster. had appeared. In 1971 . the first microprocessor. less than one square centimeter in size. was 10 developed.Today, modem microprocessors contain as many as 10 million transistors. and the number of transistors and the computational speed of microprocessors doubles every eighteen months. . ; " c": ;t·,·'1~ It \ di/ I evolution: development Part I Writing a Paragraph MODEL Chro11OIogical Order: PmC8SS Topic Sentences for Cbronologiclll Order PRACTICE I Chronological 1bpic Sentences ; 7., , , CloningTechnology Background information: III 1997. a lamb bom in Scotland became an instant celebrity. An exact duplicate ofher six-yetlr-old mother, Dolly was the first animal cloned from the cells ofan adult. Other animals had previously been cloned from the cells ofembryos, but Dolly UICIS the first animalw come from an adult. Her birth represented a giant step in cloning technology. The cloning of Dolly involved several steps. First, cells that had previously been taken from Dolly's mother were starved for five days. which caused them to ~top dividing. This interruption of the cells' division cycle made it easier for them to reprogram themselves to start growing a new organism.' After five days. the nuclei2 s of these cells were removed and transferred into an unfertilized sheep egg. from which the natural nucleus had previously beef\ removed. In the next step. the egg was grown in the laboratory for a period of time. Then the egg was implanted into a different sheep. where it grew nonnally.When the sheep finally gave birth. the lamb was an exaa genetic copy. or clone. of the sheep that had provided the /" transferred nucleus. not of the sheep that had provided the egg. j.~'~~~ ~.. .".:. :... ....:.~.';..~"' - ·'·_".f ~. Writing Technique Questio1l.s I. What are the two uses of chronological order that the two model paragraphs exemplify? 2. What are the main time divisions in the paragraph about computers? How would you outline it? 3. What transition signals and time expressions are used in the first model to show chronological order? 4. What transition signals and time expressions are used in the second model to show the steps in the process? Notice that the topic sentence of a chronological paragraph in some way indicates the time order. In paragraphs such as the one on computers. phrases such as in tlte rela· tively short span ofsixtyyears and evolution give the reader a hint that this is a chrono­ logical paragraph. In a "how to," or process. paragraph such as the one about doning technology, the process to be described is named in the topic sentence and tells the reader to expect a chronological paragraph. STEP 1 Put a check in the space to the left of every topic sentence suggesting that a chronological paragraph will follow. STEP 2 In the sentences you have checked. circle the word or words that indicate chropological order. I organism: any form of tire Z nuclei: plural of nucleus. the part of a ceO that contains its hereditary material and con­ trols its metabolism. growth. and reproduction Chapter 5 Kinds of Logical Order Topic Suggestions A. Process Topics How to get a driver's license How to get an F How to break. a bad habit How to jump-start a car How to make someone you How to cook a special dish know angry or happy from your culture How to flirt How to buy a used car How to get an A How to soothe a crying baby B. Narrative Topics A brief autobiovr :J.r!lY (You may write more than one paragraph.) A brief biography of a well-known person A recent jouney Awedding ceremo:,.· An important event m yuur life An important decision you have made The historical development of (automobiles, air travel. a sport, a type of music, telecommunications-any topic you have information about) Logical Division ofIdeas/Order ofImportance Logical division is one of the most common ways to organize ideas in English. When you use logical division, you group related ideas together and discuss each group, one after the other. In everyday life, things are divided into groups. Grocery stores sepa­ rate items into groups: produce (fresh fruits and vegetables) is in one section, milk products (milk, butter. cheese) are in another section, meats in another, and so on. Similarly. corporations divide themselves into departments: marketing, research. accounting. etc., and authors divide books into chapters. There is usually more than one way to divide things. Suppose, for example. you are asked to divide the members of your class into groups. How many different ways could you divide them? Make a list: By gender (male, females) By By age By _______ If the groups are all more or less equally important in the mind of the writer, they can be discussed in any order. However, each group should be unified within itself. In other words, you shouldn't put meat in the produce section. Read the model paragraph on the next page and then answer the questions that follow. ,. r 1 \"r f; r ! ,., ~ . ~. ) I " \" ( " .t ; ...., Part I Writing a Paragraph \ MODEL Logical DittlWml of Itie£Is Transition Signals/or Logical Division 0/ Ideas Life in Space living aboard a space station in orbit around the Earth for months at a time poses problems for astronauts' bodies as well as for their minds. One major problem is maintaining astronauts' physical health. Medical treatment may be days or even weeks away, as there may not be a doctor on board. Illnesses such as 5 appendicitis or ulcers. routinely treated on Earth, could be fatal in space because of the delay in getting to a doctor. Furthermore, surgery may be impossible because blood would float around inside the operating room. Another health problem is the potential for bone deterioration. I In a weighdess envir~>nment. the body produces less calcium. Astronauts must exercise at least three hours a day to 10 prevent bone loss. A second major problem is maintaining astronaUts' mental health. Being confined for long periods of time in dark and hostile2 space undoubtedly produces anxiety.3 loneliness and boredom are other psychological concerns. Finally. how can astronauts "let off steam'''' when interpersonal conflicts develop~ It is clear that space-station duty will require astronauts who are not only IS physically but also mentally strong. '~~_.;;;', __" ______-,;,,.~ ,,;l,"'~~ Writing Tedmique Questions I. How many maiR groups is the topic of this paragraph divided into? What are they? 1. Does the topic sentence of the paragraph tell you the topics of these groups? Does the concluding sentence? 3. What transition signals indicate the divisions? Where else are transition signals used? 4. In your opinion, would it make any difference if mental health were discussed before physical health? Do you think that one is more important than the other, or are they approximately equal in importance? Transition signals used in logical division include many that you already know. SENTENCE CONNECTORS OTHERS first. second. third, etc. next-last. finally in addition. moreover furthermore also the first (+ noun) thela second (+ noun) one (+ noun) another (+ noun) an additional (+ noun) , , ,.J, VI ~di'l'J11 ,,-l"l ! ".V, IV"': \i I deterioration: reduction in amount 3 anxiety: fear: worry 2 hostile: unfriendly .. "let offsteam": get rid of anger. frustration (idiom) Transition Signalslor Orderol Imporltnu:e PRACTICE 4 Transilion Signalsfor logicaJ DivisiOll/0rder ofImporlance Topic Sentences for Logical Divisilm/Order ofImportllnce Chapter S Kinds of Logical Order Examples First. maintaining astronauts' physical health is a concern. In addition. sanitations is a problem in weighdess space. A second concern is maintaining astronauts' mental health. If some of your points are more important than others. you can indicate their relative importance by using these transition signals: SENTENCE CONNECTORS OTHERS more importantly most significandy above all primarily a more important (+ noun) the most important (+ noun) the second most significant (+ noun) the primary (+ noun) Astronauts in space experience loneliness and boredom; more importantly, they can suffer from anxiety. A. Reread the model paragraph "Life in Space" on page 62 and circle all of the transi­ tion signals used to show logical division. n. Suggest changes in the transition signals to show that one group of problems (physical or psychological) is more important than the other. The topic sentence of logical division and order of importance paragraphs often indi­ cates the number of groups the topic is divided into. Gold, a precious metal, is prized for twO important characteristics. Inflation has three causes. The topic semence may even tell what the groups are. Gold. a precious metal. is prized not only for its beauty but also for its utility. Inflation has three causes: an increase in the supply of paper money. excessive government spending. and unrestrained consumer borrowing. The topic sentence for order of importance differs only in that it may contain an order of importance transition signal. Gold. a precious metal. is prized not only for its beauty but. more impor­ tantly. for its utility. 5 sanitation: cleanliness Part I Transition Signals for Comparison! Contrast Writing a Paragraph Paragraph 1 There are some differences. however. Whereas you will find more PCs in business offices. you will find more Macs in classrooms. Although Macs are the computers of choice of people who do a lot of art and graphic design in their work, PCs seem to be the choice of people who do a lot of "number crunching.,,1 5 Finally. there is a difference in the availability of software. vendors. and service for the two computers. In general. there is a lot of PC-compatible! software. but relatively little Mac software. Furthermore. for a Mac. you must purchase your machine and get service from a Macintosh-authorized dealer. whereas many different computer stores sell and service PCs. Writing Teclmique Questions I. Which paragraph shows comparison? Which paragraph shows contrast? Turn back to the paragraph about French and American management styles on page 52. Which type of paragraph is it? 1. On how many points are the two computers compared? On how many points are they contrasted? . J. What transition signals are used to show similarities? To show differences? (Refer to the following charts.) COMPARISON TRANSITION SIGNALS ,. SENTENCE CONNECTORS CONJUNcnONS OTHERS similarly and like likewise both ... and just like i also not only ... but also alike tOO as as ... as just as (be) similar similar to the same (as) compare tolwith J number crunching: mathematical calculations Z PC-compadble: can be used in PC computers Chapter 5 Kinds of Logical Order CONTRAST TRANSITION SIGNALS SENTENCEI . OTHERSCONJUNCTIONSCONNECTORS - however but unlike on the other hand differ from on the contrary yet although (be) dissimilar in contrast though compare to in (by) comparison even though compare with while whereas PRACTICE 6 Comparison/Contrast A. Circle all of the comparison/contrast transition signals in the two paragraphs about PCs versus Macs on pages 65-66 and in the paragraph about French and American management styles on page 52. B. Review the topic sentence practice (Practice 5) on page 64. Find two topic sen­ tences that could indicate comparison I contrast order. Review PREWRITING PRACTICE Brainstorming Essay EXclm Questions These are the important points you should have learned from this chapter: I. You can achieve coherence in writing by stating your ideas in logical order. There are several kinds of logical order: chronological order. logical division of ideas/order of importance, and comparison/contrast. 2.. Each kind of logical order has special words and expressions, or transition signals, that will support your logic. Below is a list of fifteen possible essay questions that might be asked on a typical col­ lege examination. The first five are general questions that might be asked on a college writing test. The last ten are specific to a field of study. Get together with a group of one or two other students and brainstorm: Which logical order might you use to answer each question-chronological order. logical division of ideas/ order of impor· tance, or comparison I contrast? • 1. What do you hope to gain from your college education? 2. Evaluate a significant experience or achievement that has meaning for you. 3. Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or inter­ nationAl concern and its importance to you. 4. Write about your idea of a. perfect day. S. How do you think the world will be different fifty years from ,now? What changes do you expect to witness? Part I Writing a Paragraph 6. Compare and contrast the relationship between the two pairs of lovers in Shakespeare's Much Ado about Nothing -t. In James Joyce's novel Portrait of the Artist as a Young l4.an. identify the three major incidents tha.t affect Stephen DedaJus emotionally in Chapter 1. Which incident do you think cha.nges him most? Why? 8. Explain the electrical conductivity of an electrolyte solution. Use an example to illustrate. 9. Consider a mixture of 10 milllon O~ molecules and 20 million '" Ha molecules. In what way is this mixture Similar to 20 million water molecules? In what way 15 it diSSimilar? 10. Describe the steps necessary for a proposed bill to become a law in the United States. 11. Explain the cash and accrual methods of accounting. la. Describe the procedure for taking a year-end inventory in a sma.ll retail business. IS. Discuss the goals of American foreign policy before and after the fa.ll of the Berlin Wa.ll. 14. Explain the differences between a sole proprietorship, a partnerShip, and a corporation. 1&. Explain how a hurricane forms. WRITING Choose one of the suggested topics that follow and write a paragraph that is ten to PRACTICE fifteen sentences in length. Usc logical division of ideas. order of importance. or com· parison and lor contrast to organize your ideas. Your instructor may wish to limit your choice in order to give you practice in a specific type of paragraph. Remember the steps in the writing process: STEP I Brainstorm a topic for ideas. using the listening. freewriting, or cluster­ Prewriting ing techniques you have learned. STEP 2 Develop an outline that includes a topic sentence and a concluding Planning sentence (if necessary). Underline them STEP J Write a rough draft. Be sure to use transition signals. Writing STEP 4 Have a classmate check your draft against the Peer Editing CheckJist. Editing STEPS Write a second draft. and proofread It tor grammar and mechanics. Rewriting STEPe Write a final copy to hand in. CHAPTER Concrete Support I latin inscription from a Roman temple Introduction One of the biggest problems in student writing is that student writers often fail to prove their points. They fail because they do not support their points with concrete details. Their papers are too often full of opinions and generalizations without the fac­ tual details needed to support them. A sue. ssful paragraph contains concrete I Support yodr topic ientence by using specific and support for the factual details. topic sentence. I concrete: specific definite 71 Part I Writing a Paragraph Facts versus Opinions Facts are objective statements of truths. At sea level. water boils at 100 degrees Celsius. Women live longer than men. Lung cancer among women is increasing. Opinions are subjective statements based on a person's beliefs or attitudes. Men are better drivers than women. Engineering students do not need to take a lot of English courses. Americans are only superficially' friendly. It is certainly acceptable to express opinions in academic writing. In fact. most professors want you to express your own ideas. However. you must support your opinions with factual details. The more specific you are. the better. In very formal academic writing. even some statements that are considered facts need further support. In other words. they need specific supporting details in order to be completely convincing. Here are some examples of statements that need further support to be acceptable in fqnn8.I academic writing and of additional necessary concrete supporting details. UNSUPPORTED --FACTS" Teenage smoking is on the rise. Smoking can cause lung cancer. CoNCRETE SUPPORTING DETAILS In 1995. the U.S. surgeon general reported that more than three million teenagers smoked cigarettes. The American Cancer Society reports that the number one cause of lung can­ cer among men and women is smoking. -----.-.-.. ­ ...~-----.- ...------.--.-.~ PRACTICE I STEP 1 Decide w1:..!ther each of the following statements is a fact or an opinion. Write F for fact, 0 for opinion. Facts versus Opinions STEP 2 Decide if the facts need additional supporting details. Write NFS for "needs further support" next to those that do. STEP 3 Discuss with your classmates what specific supporting details you might use to support the sentences you marked 0 (opinion) or F-NFS. 1. Smoking is rela.xing and, therefore, enjoyable. a. Dr. Kathleen Pa.rker, a well-known ca.ncer speci&list, recently &dmltted in an interview, "Although I see the ha.rmful effects of smoking nea.rly every dAy in my work, I still enjoy re1a.x1ng with a oiga.rette a.fter dinner." s. Early in the next decade, more women tha.n men will die of lung C&Il­ cer, a.ccord1ng to the Ameriaa.n Cancer Society. 4. Smoking is attracting more and more adults. I superficially: on the surface Chapter 6 Concrete Support I 5. According to a recent New York Times a.rtiole,· cigarette smoking is increasing among a.dults in their forties as well as among the college educated and those earning more than $36,000 annually. 6. Red-light MlIlIlersz must take a driver's eduoa.tion ola.ss. Then they will become safer drivers. 7. Red-light MlIlIlers oa.use scores of 3 a.ocidents, including deaths and injuries as well as millions of dollars in dama.ges. 8. Red·light MlIlIlers should have their driver's licenses suspended for a period of time. 9. Nationwide, the number of red-light running a.ocidentB increased 18 percent from 1991 through 1996. In 1991, 2,426 deaths resulted, and in 1996, the number rose to 2,866. Concrete Supporti1J£ Details Look in an-line newspapers for current quotations and other support for your capic. There are several kinds of concrete supporting details that you can use to support or prove your topic sentence. Among the most common are examples, statistics. and quotations. Read the following article about the changing American family. as more married women with children are going to work and more fathers are staying at home. Notice how the different kinds of concrete details support the writer's main ideas. MODEL Concrete Supporting Details Extended example Statistic Statistic Dad's New Role Dr. Elizabeth Lee is the medical director in charge of communicable diseases in the county" where she lives. She enjoys her challenging career and prefers it to staying at home with her two young children. Both she and her husband, Jack. realize the importance of parents' active participation in their children's lives. 5 Therefore, they decided that one of them should stay at home to be a full-time parent. jack became the primary c~regiver because staying home would enable him to spend time developing his graphic design business. Jack Lee is one of a growing number of stay-at-home dads. According to a 1996 survey by the Los Angeles TImes, 39 percent of the men who responded to the 10 survey indicated that they would be willing to quit their jobs to take care of their children. while their wives became the primary breadwinners.5 Furthermore. the U.S. Census Bureau reported in 1997 that approximately two million men across the United States have primary responsibility for their children. :! red-light runners: urivt!rs who speed through red traffic signal lights :I scores of: many 4 county: administrative subdivision of a state in lhe United States 5 breadwinners: family mem.bers who earn money Part I Writing a Paragraph Writing Technique Question..'t I. What is the main idea of each paragraph? (There are three paragraphs, one paragraph in the first model and two paragraphs in the second model.) Underline the topic sentence in each paragraph. 2. What examples are used to support each topic sentence? Which paragraph has an extended example? 3. What words and phrases are used to introduce the examples? To introduce the extended example? Tips jor Using Examples and Extended Examples I. Make sure that your example really supports your point. 2. Introdu~e examples with appropriate transition Signals. TRANSITION SIGNALS FOR EXAMPLES WRITING PRACTICE Writing u,'ilh Examples SENTENCE CONNECTORS OTHERS for example for instance such as like The following example (story/incident) illustrates (shows/demonstrates) ... The ancient Aztec languages of Mexico. for example, used only one word to mean snow. cold. and ice. For instance, the Eskimos have different words for falling snow. snow on the ground. snow packed as hard as ice ... and "cornmeal" snow. Job titles such' as stewardess, waitress, and mailman are today considered sexist l and have been replaced by nongender-specific job titles like flight attendant, waitperson, and mail corrier. Choose either A or B below and write a paragraph using an example and/or an extended example to support your topic sentence. Ask a classmate to check your paragraph against the Peer Editing Checklist at the end of the chapter before you hand it in. A. Describe a body language signal from your own culture that is different from a body language signal used in the United States. Explain the confusion that can result when people misunderstand the signal. B. Explain a proverb2 from your first language by using examples. Some proverbs in English are Don't count your chickens before they hatch. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. 1 sexist: discriminatory based on gender (male/female) ~ proverb: wise saying that gives a practical rule for living Chapter 6 Concrete Support I Sttltisties MODEL Slalislics In business. engineering. and the sciences. statistics are often used for ,support. In this section. you will practice using statistics from charts and graphs to support your writing ideas. Study the chart below, and then read the paragraph that explains it. Notice that the source of the information is given in the sentence that begins "According to ...." Billions of people 6 s of 1 I A.D. soo 1000 Year 1800 2000 World population growth. (Source: United Nations estimates.) World Population Growth The world's population has been increasing dramatically. According to a United Nations chan of world population growth. the world's population suddenly multiplied in the nineteenth and twentieth centuries. At the beginning of the Christian era, the estimated world population was 100 to 300 million. It took more s than 1.800 years for the population to reach one billion. Then in less than one hundred years, the figure poubled to two billion by '930. By 1975. when it reached four billion. it had dou~led again in less than fifty years. The United Nations has projected an increase to more than six billion by the year 2000 . .lrj;H#'45fH"t;-;I~~ii.i;'\;;if.;~,-*.~:""·~,:.¢<•. Writing Teclmique f,JuestiOflS I. What is the main idea of the paragraph? 2. What five statistics are used to support this idea? What IS the source of these numbers? J., Tum back to the model "Dad's New Role" on pages 73-74. What statistics are used there? What are their sources? Part I Writing a Paragraph PRACTICE 1 Using Statistics WRITING PRACTICE SIoIis/ics Study the graph below. which shows how the world's largest economies dominate global energy use. Then use the information in the graph to complete the paragraph that follows. United States China Russia Japan Germany Canada India United Kingdom mnce Italy 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100 =:r- == 13.87 .II.M ~ 9."6,.. 9.27... 9.24 ~ 7.03 o 10 20 - 20.7 .-- 85.6" 33.93 27.94 - World's major consumers of primary energy. 1994. [Soun;e: Energy Information Administration. U.S. Department of Energy. International Database. August 1996. Figures represent quadrillion Btu (British thermal units).] World'. MaJor CoD.nmers of Primary Bnergy According to statistiCS published by the U.S. Department of Energy, the world's consumption of primary energy continued to increase in 1994 in quadrillion Btu's. The three top consumers included the United States, ________________ . However, the largest consumer was _____________________ . Rused ___________________ 5 Japan consumed • whereas Germany consumed . The countries that con· sumed less than 10 quadr1llion Btu included lWo sets of graphs follow: one on the topic of credit, the other on working women in Japan and the United States. Choose either set of graphs and write a paragraph explaining its significance. STEP 1 Decide what main idea the graphs illustrate, and write this idea as a topic sen­ tence. STEP 2 Write five to eight supporting statements, using the statistical information ..shown in the graphs. Be sure to mention the source of your statistics in your paragraph. STEP 3 Ask a classmate to check your paragraph against the Peer Editing Checklist at the end of the chapter before you hand it in. Chapter 6 Concrete Support I PEER EDITING CHECKLIST PEER EDITOR'S COMMENTS AND SUGGESTIONS ... .. GENERAL .. ­~ 1. What do you like best about this paragraph? PAPER FORMAT ... .....' .."." ...... 2. Is the format correct? Does it look like the model on page 19? ORGANIUnON AND CONTENT, .. . , ..... . _. 3. Topic sentence: Is there a clear topic sentence? Does it have a controlling idea? 4. Supporting sentences: What kind of concrete support is used? Are the statistics or examples incorporated smoothly into the paragraph? 5. Concluding sentence: [5 there a concluding sentence? Does it begin with an appropriate end-of-paragraph signal? 6. Unity: Do aU of the sentences support the topic sentence? 7. Coherence: Do the sentences flow smoothly? Are there any inconsistent pronouns? Are there enough transition signals used? SENTENCE STRUCTURE 8. Are there any unclear sentences? Can you suggest a way to improve them? GRAMMAR AND MECHANICS , i 9. Are there any errors in grammar and I mechanics? I L CHAPTER Concrete Support II Runk writing from eleventh-century Sweden Quotations, Parap"brases, and Summaries In addition to the examples, extended examples, and statistics that you studied in the previous chapter, you may also need to use other kinds of concrete information to support your ideas. Using quotations and writing paraphrases and summaries of information from outside sources are important tools in academic writing. In some college classes, instructors ask their students to write research papers (also called term papers), To write a term paper, you must find information about your topic in books, 82 Quotations MODEL Direct Quo/alions Chapter 7 .Concrete Support II newspapers, periodicals,' encyclopedias, and similar sources. Then you include this information in the body ofyour paper. It is important to learn how to use information from .outside sources without committing plagiarism.2 Plagiarism is a serious offense. It occurs in two situations. It occurs when you use another person's words or ideas without acknowledging that the person is your source. Plagiarism also occurs even when you acknowledge the other person ifyour rewritten version is too similar to the other person's. In this chapter. you williearn how to use other people's words and ideas without plagiarizing them. When you borrow another person's words or ideas by quoting. paraphrasing, or summarizing them. you must show where you got the ideas by putting certain infor­ mation in parentheses immediately after the material you have borrowed. As you study this chapter, look for the ways this information is given. At the end of the chap­ ter, you will learn how to prepare such in-text citations. There are two kinds of quotations: direct and indirect. In a direct quotation. another person's exact words are repeated and are enclosed in quotation mades. [n an indirect quotation. the speaker's words are reported wi~hou[ quotation marks. You should learn to use both kinds of quotations in your writing. Direct QrwtatItnJs Read the follOwing model.and study how direct quotations are used to support the topic sentence. Drugs and the Olympic Games It is no secret that performance-enhancini drugs have been used by Olympic athleteS for decades. In 1993, the head of the International Olympic Committee's medical commission, Prince Alexandre de Herode olSelgium. stated. "I believe that as many as 10% of all Olympic athletes are regular users of performance-enhancing J drugs" (qtd. in Bamberger and Yaeger 63).4 Despite rlgorous5 drug testing of Olympic athletes. the use of banned performance-enhancing substances has become more widespread than ever. It is clear that if athletes want to win. they must consider using drugs. In a 1997 article in Sports Illustrated magazine. Dutch physician Michel Karsten is quoted as saying. "There may be some sportSmen who can win I. gold medals without taking drugs. but there are very few." According eo Dr. Karsten. who says he has prescribed anabolic steroidss to hundreds of world-class athletes over the last twenty-five years, "If you are especially gifted, you may win once. but from my experience you· can't continue to win without drugs. The field is JUSt toO filled with drug users" (qed. in Bamberger and Yaeger 62). I periodlc:all: magazines . 2 plagiarism: the use of someone else's words or ideas as your own :I enbancing: improving • qtd.in Bamberger and Yaeger 63: This form of in-text citation means that (!'Ie words in quotation marks were spoken by Prince Alexandre de Merode and were quoted on page 63 of an article written by two people named Bamberger and Yaeger. 5 rigorous: strict It·· hi'" ". ,";"~l' . 6 anabolic steroids: drugs that increase muscle