English Grammar about Concise Writing, Exercises of Grammar and Composition

Download English Grammar about Concise Writing and more Exercises Grammar and Composition in PDF only on Docsity! Proofreading Skills Tutorial: Tutorial #14: Writing Concisely Eliminating Empty Phrases Avoiding Clichés Eliminating Redundancy Writing Center English 800 Center 2 All notes and exercises should be done on separate sheets of paper, which you will bring to your conference with an instructor in the center. As you work through the tutorial, make sure to see an instructional aide at the front desk in the Writing Center or English 800 Center if you have any questions or difficulties. 5 2. For all intents and purposes, Aspara dropped out of school in view of the fact that she had to help support her family. 3. The fact is that parents must build closer relationships with their teenaged children by virtue of the fact that so many teens get into trouble in the United States. 4. After she arrived from Burma, the reason that Aung enrolled at CSM was because it was close to his home and had an excellent English department. 5. In the event that it snows, Luanna will purchase some chains for her tires. 6. In this day and age, it is clear that young people know more about computers than they know about American history. Avoiding Clichés Look at the following sentences. A healthy lifestyle enhances your ability both to live life to its fullest and to live to a ripe old age. A healthy lifestyle helps you live life fully and longer. In your own words, explain which sentence seems more effective and why. As you may have noticed, the first sentence contains more words, including expressions that you have heard before, “live life to its fullest” and “live to a ripe old age.” Clichés are stale phrases. These expressions were once fresh and forceful, but constant use has weakened them. Instead of using clichés, it is better to substitute fresh words or restate the idea in plain language. Be sure to choose words that reflect your ideas and suit your purpose, instead of settling for overused phrases or vague generalizations. Here are some examples of clichés: better late than never knight in shining armor cool, calm, and collected soar like an eagle hard as a rock pass with flying colors white as snow ripe old age live life to its fullest work like a dog see eye to eye few and far between If you are a second-language English speaker, you have probably learned some clichés (idioms) in your ESL classes so that you will understand what they mean when you hear them. But there are many more clichés that you will have difficulty recognizing. Remembering to stick to plain 6 language when you are writing your essays will help you avoid clichés. And your classroom instructor will point out any clichés in your writing, so you can learn to avoid them. Principle II: Use fresh words or plain language rather than clichés. Exercise 2 Instructions: Using Principle II, rewrite the following sentences by using fresh words or plain language to eliminate the clichés. 1. We talked until early in the morning, but we just couldn't see eye to eye on where to go for dinner. 2. In rural areas doctors are so few and far between that even though the doctors work like dogs, the children do not get adequate medical care. 3. In a crisis, Jing is cool, calm and collected, so we know that he will be an effective nurse in the ER. Eliminating Slang and Jargon Consider the following sentences: Many kids begin school pretty together but then they space out. Many students begin school focused but then lose their direction. Explain which sentence sounds more appropriate for a college essay and why. You may have noticed that the first sentence contains slang. Slang is the colorful and novel expressions created by different groups of people—from teenagers to computer scientists to musicians. Among those who understand it, slang may be vivid and forceful. In fact, some slang, such as “dropout,” has proved so useful that it has passed into the general vocabulary. But most slang is inappropriate for academic or business writing. Language specific to a field or discipline is called jargon. Writing a biology paper about cell division would be impossible without using jargon such as mitosis and meiosis. Similarly, if you are writing an English essay about a novel, you might use jargon such as protagonist and antagonist. When you are 7 writing a paper, use jargon only when it is appropriate to your audience and purpose. When writing for a general audience, avoid using jargon, or you will risk sounding artificial and pretentious. Principle III: Avoid slang, and use jargon only when appropriate. Exercise 3 Instructions: Using Principle III, rewrite the following sentences to eliminate slang or jargon. 1. If he gets too hyper before the interview, Uto may mess up his chances of getting hired. 2. Anne and Carrie were very into Rashad, but he was into Clarice. 3. AIDS is a major deal all over the world. 4. Hassan was so out of it that he forgot his homework. 5. The large black and blue mark on Shireen’s arm, a hematoma caused by a fall from her bicycle, was painful. Eliminating Redundancy Consider these sentences: Many people who have dropped out of school and lack formal education are unemployed and do not have jobs. Many uneducated people are unemployed. In your own words, explain which sentence is more effective and why. Although repeating key words in an essay is one way to make writing more analytical and coherent, redundancy or unnecessary repetition weakens sentences. The first sentence contains two redundancies. That is, not completing high school means a lack of formal education, and the definition of being unemployed is not having a job. The second sentence lacks redundancy, and it is concise and clear.