Example Statements of Purpose (Personal Statements) The ..., Exercises of Engineering

Download Example Statements of Purpose (Personal Statements) The ... and more Exercises Engineering in PDF only on Docsity! Example Statements of Purpose (Personal Statements) The following examples, drawn from real student essays and public sources (details altered for anonymity), demonstrate the wide range of academic and professional interests, writing styles, and approaches taken by applicants in the science and technology fields. Some of these essays are really quite good, while others would benefit from substantial revisions. Rather than templates or models, these samples are best considered for their inspirational value – whether to help you find something you like in a piece of writing, or to help you avoid certain types of passages that don’t add value to your essay. Importantly, your essay should be authentic to you: your voice, your story, your passions, your career plans. Critical Evaluation of Essays Certain questions may be useful to help you evaluate and suggest improvements to personal statements, including your own! 1. Does the statement make clear near the beginning what the applicant is seeking, whether an internship position, a spot in graduate program, etc.? 2. Does the statement explain why the applicant is interested in the opportunity? 3. Does the statement address ways that the applicant will bring benefits to the internship sponsor, graduate program, or field broadly? (Does the statement consider the reader’s interests?) 4. Does the statement explicitly connect past experiences with future intentions? 5. Does the statement employ specific examples to demonstrate the applicant’s accomplishments and qualifications for the proposed path? 6. Does the statement give you a sense of knowing the applicant’s motivations in professional (and sometimes private) life? 7. Does the statement avoid recounting the sort of information that would normally be listed in a resume/CV, such as GPA, transcript details, club membership, etc.? 8. Is the statement easy to read, organized in straightforward way, and free from grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors? 1 Graduate School Personal Statement (A) A  simple  bridge  truss  was  the  first  structure  I  ever  analyzed.  The  simple   combination  of  beams  that  could  hold  cars,  trains,  and  trucks  over  long  spans  of  water   fascinated  me.  Having  the  tools  to  analyze  the  loads  on  the  truss  further  increased  my   interest  in  structures.  I  encountered  the  bridge  in  a  textbook  for  my  first  engineering  class.   Knowing  that  the  professor,  Mr.  Lionel  Trane,  was  a  tough  teacher,  I  purchased  the   class  book  ahead  of  time  and  began  to  read  it  over  the  summer.  The  first  member  of  my   family  to  attend  college,  I  was  determined  to  succeed.  In  class  we  learned  about  forces  on   simple  members  and  then  we  put  the  members  together  to  form  a  simple  truss.  At  this   point  I  had  almost  decided  that  structural  engineering  was  the  career  for  me.  I  loved  the   practical,  problem  solving  aspects  of  the  field.   As  I  continued  in  my  program,  the  coursework  became  more  advanced.  In  my   analysis  and  design  classes,  I  especially  enjoyed  studying  steel  design  because  we  not  only   learned  the  use  of  the  load  resistance  factor  design  but  also  applied  that  knowledge  —  I   designed  a  four-­‐story  building.  The  professor  was  a  practicing  engineer,  and  he  always   related  the  subject  to  real  life  steel  structures  he  had  engineered,  for  example,  the   Goodman  Library  in  San  Diego.  This  is  the  kind  of  project  on  which  I  would  like  to  work,   designing  the  structure  and  considering  how  the  building  will  respond  to  environmental   forces.     Although  I  liked  my  classes,  my  internship  experiences  really  confirmed  my  interest   in  structural  engineering.  While  working  at  Canteco  as  a  student  volunteer  the  summer   after  my  sophomore  year,  I  reviewed  calculations  for  load-­‐bearing  members  in  new   commercial  building  designs.  The  calculations  were  based  on  three  sets  of  end-­‐application   assumptions,  and  I  had  to  verify  the  numbers  and  make  sure  the  core  parameters  matched   the  clients’  intended  load  predictions.  In  this  role,  I  attended  weekly  meetings  with  the   technical  staff  and  reported  on  the  discrepancies  I  found  in  the  project  portfolios.  It  was   exciting  to  know  that  I  was  the  last  checkpoint  before  the  whole  design  went  for  approval,   and  I  enjoyed  working  on  something  where  I  could  use  my  analytical  skills  in  a  project  with   real-­‐world  results  that  created  safer  and  more  useful  structures.   At  Milwaukee  University,  I  hope  to  enroll  in  the  structural  engineering  program.  In   this  program  I  hope  to  draw  on  my  structural  analysis  and  internship  background  as  a   foundation  for  studying  more  advanced  concepts.  I  am  particularly  interested  in   researching  the  ties  between  the  structural  engineering  and  applied  mechanics.  I  hope  to   be  involved  in  some  structurally  related  research  at  Milwaukee  University.  I  am   particularly  interested  in  the  research  programs  of  Prof.  John  Smith  and  Prof.  Diana  King.   After  completing  my  degree  in  engineering  ,  I  know  I  want  to  design  structures.  That   is  what  has  fascinated  me  since  I  took  Mr.  Trane’s  class.    The  program  at  Milwaukee   University  will  help  me  to  be  competent  and  competitive.  After  working  for  several  years   designing  structures  for  seismic,  wind,  fire,  and  flood  readiness  with  a  large  firm,  my  long-­‐ term  goals  are  to  found  my  own  engineering  consulting  firm.     2 Graduate School Personal Statement (D)   The aerospace industry is currently one of the most rapidly advancing and high tech industries, it fascinates me to see how the machines are being built and developed to achieve magnificent goals. I have a basic understanding of how this is achieved through documentaries and research, however I endeavor to know more about this industry and broaden my understanding as the more I know the happier and more content I will become, the thought of working within this industry and helping mankind to advance and improve really excites me and your university provides me with the key features and opportunities to achieve this. My passion for the aerospace industry started at a very young age when my parents took me to the Chicago Air and Water show. I can remember standing next to my father constantly asking questions and being fascinated in particular by the U.S. Navy Blue Angels (F/A-18 Hornets) and the Czech- built L-39 C Albatros jets. I was also fortunate enough to visit Washington, DC on a seventh- grade trip and visit the National Air and Space Museum, where I was able to peek into the flight deck of the space shuttle and look inside a Mercury capsule. I have a competitive personality and through completing an internship in engineering I have gained the skills to allow me to proactively problem solve or question if something is the best it can be. Which I think are fundamental skills within this industry. Obtaining a Master of Engineering will greatly increase my career prospects and allow me to pursue a job in an industry which greatly interests me. Part of this drive I feel comes from my father who is an engineer himself, and being very happy with his job. I have also completed an internship in the engineering firm Kaplan & Haupt; this has taught me essential skills such as: teamwork, planning, punctuality, commitment, CAD, manufacturing, and problem solving. Working in an actual industry has given me key experience with dealing with customers and keeping people happy, it has also matured me greatly and taught me how to balance my life between work and home. I have had many different jobs since the age of 13, and this has taught me to be independent and not rely on other people to get me through life. As an undergraduate I was involved with a number of extra-curricular activities, these included the intramural soccer championship, Society of Mathematics Scholars, and varsity cross-country. Attending your graduate program will also provide me with the rare opportunity of being surrounded by people who share the same interests and ambitions, which means ideas can be discussed and improved greatly. I am a very outgoing person which can be shown through my hobbies, which include all types of music and instruments, mountain biking and a variety of sports. I am always looking for a challenge to take on and your program will be able to provide me with that challenge and the satisfaction I will get from achieving it. Recently I have been looking into the prospect of how engineers are taking ideas from nature to move along and improve the engineering industry, one thing which was of keen interest to me here was how understanding a giraffe has enabled a suit to be made which allows pilots to experience 9G’s without blacking out. I visited a NASA research site, and was given the opportunity to see some of their research facilities, even though a lot were off limits and top secret the parts I was allowed to see absolutely fascinated me. Graduate school will give me the fundamental grounding I need to achieve what I want in life, and a way of getting there. 5 Graduate Fellowship Personal Statement (E)   As a sophomore at Mendota College, I spent the month of June volunteering on the small island of Salvador, Guatemala, along with 25 other Mendota students. There were five medical “clinics” on the island which consisted of a one-room hut with a table for the patient to sit on, a lawn chair for the doctor, and boxes of donated medicine. These clinics were staffed with three Mendota students and one local doctor each day, and in these conditions the doctor and his student assistants (with absolutely no medical experience) performed anything from routine physicals to minor surgeries. Patience and cooperation were important for the success of the medical team and the safety of the patients. My trip to Guatemala was a tremendous learning opportunity for me; I learned the importance of team cooperation, problem solving, hard work, and giving back to the community, which I try to apply to my career path and everyday life. After my trip to Guatemala, I discovered a passion for using science and technology to benefit the community. I followed this passion by pursuing opportunities for original research. My first research experience was as a summer researcher with Prof. Melvin Calvin at Mendota College. My research studied how strongly chiral β- blockers bind to chiral micelles, which is important for chiral drug separation techniques and ensuring the safety of consumers. The challenges and rewards of performing independent research compelled me to pursue more research opportunities. In two summer internships at the Eli Lilly Laboratory I developed instrumental methods for better separation of impurities from new drug candidates. My experiences in the pharmaceutical field inspired me because I saw how the applications of my research directly improved public safety. I was eager to apply my passion for impacting the community through research and outreach and to satisfy my interests in analytical chemistry, which is why I chose to attend the University of Minneapolis for graduate school. The University produces top-quality, high impact research and at the same time focuses on community outreach. Outreach to a community, scientific or otherwise, happens through engaging and effective communication. As an active member of the national chemistry, biology, and theater honor societies at Mendota College, I gained experience giving numerous presentations to a variety of audiences. I have presented my research to other scientists at several local and national conferences, including the National ACS meeting, a regional ACS Conference in Milwaukee, a regional Science Conference in Chicago, and numerous presentations on the Mendota campus. I have been pursuing a mission to become a mentor to a broader community by presenting my research to audiences with varying levels of scientific background. Although I believe it is important to be able to present current research to others in the scientific community, I have developed a special passion for making science exciting and accessible to non-scientists and underrepresented groups. I have demonstrated a capability to conduct innovative research, an eagerness to utilize available resources to further develop my skills, and a desire to communicate my passion to others. I am excited to share my passion for science through mentoring and inspiring the next generation of scientists. I look forward to a career based in research while keeping the mentoring of future scientists of all backgrounds as an utmost priority in my life. 6 Graduate Fellowship Personal Statement (F)   A  career  in  experimental  science  is  not  for  the  lighthearted.  The  requisites  of  hard  work,   creativity,  certain  failure,  and  long  hours  can  only  be  successfully  sustained  by  one  attribute:   passion.  Passion  fuels  the  desire  for  experimental  excellence,  communication  of  the   phenomena,  and  a  certain  penchant  to  always  ask  the  question  “why?”  or  “how?”  Over  the   course  of  my  undergraduate  studies,  my  passion  for  scientific  knowledge  and  the  ability  to   share  that  knowledge  with  others  has  led  to  my  decision  to  pursue  a  doctoral  degree  in   chemistry  with  the  ultimate  career  goal  of  becoming  a  professor.   My  experience  in  the  scientific  community  at  La  Crosse  University  significantly  opened   my  eyes  to  the  beauty  of  chemistry  all  around  us.  My  professors  loved  sharing  their  passion  for   science  with  us  students,  and  their  guidance  over  the  years  fostered  the  development  of  my   interests  in  science.  I  was  fortunate  enough  to  experience  research  in  organic  chemistry  in  the   lab  of  Dr.  Francis  Erlenmeyer  at  La  Crosse  University.  Prior  to  research,  I  was  not  aware  of  how   gratifying,  social,  and  exciting  a  career  in  research  could  be.  I  became  enamored  with  idea  of   answering  questions  that  have  not  yet  been  answered.  In  this  aspect,  I  found  research  to  be   both  intellectually  stimulating  and  humbling,  which  quickly  became  the  cornerstone  of  my   passion  for  science.  In  that  summer,  I  learned  the  basic  fundamentals  of  organic  chemistry:  how   to  set  up  a  reaction,  how  to  run  a  column,  and  how  to  make  fancy  PowerPoint  slides.  Above  all,   my  ability  to  think  analytically,  ask  good  questions  about  the  literature,  and  how  to  plan  future   research  greatly  improved.  During  the  remainder  of  my  time  at  La  Crosse,  I  spent  time  on  two   projects  and  both  have  led  to  manuscripts  to  be  submitted  for  publication.   My  involvement  in  the  science  was  expanded  during  the  last  years  of  undergraduate   studies.  I  was  awarded  a  fellowship  to  assist  in  the  teaching  of  laboratories,  and  I  was  required   to  hold  regular  office  hours  for  supplemental  course  instruction.  This  proved  to  be  one  of  the   most  influential  blessings;  I  learned  that  I  loved  sharing  and  teaching  science.  I  cannot  envision   myself,  in  the  future,  as  a  professional,  without  having  a  role  in  education.  This  has  motivated   my  drive  for  scientific  excellence,  and  I  have  learned  so  much  about  chemistry  from  teaching  it.     I  made  my  decision  to  pursue  a  doctoral  degree  under  the  guidance  of  Dr.  Julia  Stone.  I   have  found  a  balance  between  being  a  teaching  assistant,  student,  researcher,  and  community   member.  I  have  become  a  national  member  of  Engineers  Without  Borders,  and  I  am  working  on   a  project  that  is  dedicated  to  providing  clean  water  and  health  education  to  a  small  community   in  Panama.  This  is  something  that  I  am  really  excited  about  because  I  am  able  to  use  my   scientific  background  to  help  with  problems  and  reach  out  to  many  people  in  need.  This  is   important  to  me  because  I  have  seen  the  need  for  help  firsthand.  I  was  a  volunteer  and   missionary  at  an  orphanage  and  youth  group  as  in  Quito,  Ecuador,  and  it  is  amazing  to  see  how   much  impact  you  can  have  on  the  lives  of  others.  I  firmly  believe  in  change,  and  I  believe  that  it   starts  with  passion,  commitment,  and  service.     I  am  excited  for  the  challenges  that  are  ahead  of  me  in  graduate  school  and  career.  I   accept  them  with  alacrity.  After  graduate  school,  I  want  to  pursue  a  career  in  academic   research.  The  doctoral  degree  will  enable  me  to  work  at  a  research  institution  in  addition  to   being  an  educator.  I  want  to  have  a  direct  impact  on  the  science  of  organic  chemistry  during   and  after  graduate  school.  I  can  see  myself  leading  a  lab  after  completion  of  graduate  school   and  postdoctoral  research.  Also,  a  career  in  academic  research  will  allow  me  the  opportunity  to   mentor  undergraduate  and  graduate  students  and  attempt  to  foster  the  rich  academic   community  that  I  was  fortunate  to  receive  an  education  in.   7