Understanding Love: Sternberg's Triangular Theory and Self-Worth in Relationships, Study notes of Developmental Psychology

Download Understanding Love: Sternberg's Triangular Theory and Self-Worth in Relationships and more Study notes Developmental Psychology in PDF only on Docsity! NOTES- “LOVE 101” Definitions of Love (in contrast to “being in lust,” “infatuation” “platonic love,” or love you have for a family member… Main features of love include the following: -Deep and vital emotion (feeling—promotes action) -Intimacy- this involves a basic level of trust (Psychic- being able to accept each other and share with each other. This involves respect, trust and safety with regard to sharing thoughts and feelings with one another. Physical - being able to express affection physically. Sexual- being able to share affection sexually.) -Satisfied needs (mutual support) -Caring (concern for your partner’s personal/emotional growth) STERNBERG’S TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE: Sternberg proposes that “Consummate Love” (the ultimate love) is comprised of the following: Passion, Descision/Commitment, and Intimacy. 1. Passion: (forms most quickly and goes away most quickly) The road to dating and romance: Sternberg proposes that while passion is often the least enduring in terms of strength…it accounts for strong feelings or drives for another person that lead to feelings of physical attraction, romance and sexual consummation. Often during this stage of love, hormones and chemicals (oxytocin) are released in the body, that make you feel “high on love”…These feelings often are so overpowering that people sometimes do not fully utilize their ability and think and can run the risk of making bad decisions. 2. Decision/Commitment: (idea that you are going to make that relationship your only relationship) ***(If people feel the commitment is there, it correlates to the most happiness in relationships)*** Decision/Commitment phase involves the relationship moving beyond strictly the passionate phase and deciding to make the relationship more of a priority and that there is mutual agreement that you will be working to maintain the relationship together. It is important to know how you both define the relationship in terms of commitment and to know what you motives/reasons are for moving into this stage of the relationship. Problems are more likely to occur when people simply move ahead in their relationships without questioning certain aspects of the relationship or not being conscious about their motivation to do so. This aspect of love has been found to be the factor that is most predictive of happiness in relationships. 3. Intimacy/Friendship: (takes longest to develop because it is all about trust) This facet of love develops more slowly over time. Involves being able to safely share fully in each other with regard to thoughts, feelings, physical closeness without fear of being minimalized, undervalued, or retribution. Also involves being able to promote growth in the other person and to balance your needs and wants with the other person’s. Provides emotional safety and growth to each partner. THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF WORTH IN RELATIONSHIPS: **know for test** **she will say a characteristic and need to know which one it is*** If a person does not feel lovable or worthy, he or she tends not to trust a partner’s love, so they may do one of several unhealthy things including: -Hiding their “real” selves behind a mask: In doing so, they are never able to fully be themselves, they may try to be somebody else and this takes its toll emotionally by first interfering with intimacy, and second by reinforcing that it is not really you the person loves, but the “artificial you” you have created. -Testing the love: These people employ passive/aggressive acts to “see if they really love me.” It may include underfunctioning and seeing if the person will rescue them, trying to get to partner to “prove” that they love you by being unreasonable, unfair, obnoxious and asking them to forgive or overlook bad behavior. This relates to the concept of manipulating in the text. -Acquiesce and accept all the tension or accept the blame for everything: These people figure that anything that goes wrong must be their fault and therefore their responsibility to fix it. They often times overlook bad behavior in their partner. This relates to the concept of martyring in the text. -Find someone “crippled” or deficient in some way: Choosing a person that desperately needs you or choose somebody you think is actually “worse” in someway than you. These relationships are based on mutual unhealthy dependency (both usually have low self-worth) This relates to concept of symbiotic relationships in the text. 1.Passion 3. Intimacy 2. Commitment