Understanding Women Attraction: A Guide for Men, Essays (university) of Computer Science

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TS AY cele (oi! vour Self-Confidence Change Your Dating Life a Forever  Bad boy self-confidence is the best: http://www.howtoapproachher.com/go/makewomenwantyou Page 2 Content Content........................................................................................................................................... 2 Chapter 1: Why Most Men Fail With Desirable Women......................................................... 4 Chapter 2: How to Build Magnetic Confidence........................................................................ 6 Chapter 3: How to Keep Her from Controlling Your Life ........................................................ 8 Chapter 4: How to Master the Fear of Rejection ................................................................... 10 Chapter 5: How to Keep Women from Crushing Your Self-Esteem .................................. 12 First, Become Your Own Standard ...................................................................................... 13 Second, Don’t Take Her Tests Seriously............................................................................ 13 Third, Don’t Carry Her Baggage........................................................................................... 14 Chapter 6: How to Become Your Best Self ............................................................................ 15 Chapter 7: How to Stop Attracting Women With Emotional Problems .............................. 17 Chapter 8: How Saying “No” Makes You More Attractive ................................................... 19 Bonus Chapter: The 10 Biggest Mistakes Men Make in Attracting Women ..................... 21 Mistake #1: Doing Whatever She “Wants” ......................................................................... 21 Mistake #2: Trying to Impress Instead of Attract ............................................................... 21 Mistake #3: Going for the “Close” Too Soon...................................................................... 21 Mistake #4: Being Too Nice .................................................................................................. 21 Mistake #5: Being Too Available.......................................................................................... 22 Mistake #6: Being Indecisive ................................................................................................ 22 Mistake #7: Bragging ............................................................................................................. 22 Mistake #8: Trying to Be Interesting Instead of Interested .............................................. 22 Mistake #9: Not Challenging Her ......................................................................................... 23 Mistake #10: Waiting for Permission ................................................................................... 23 Important Free Videos to Watch ASAP .................................................................................. 23 Bad boy self-confidence is the best: http://www.howtoapproachher.com/go/makewomenwantyou Page 5 But why is it that lack of self-confidence causes a man to lose with women? Can’t they just give us a break and realize that we’re human and that sometimes we get nervous in our interactions with them? Well, you can expect them to do this if you like, but that expectation in itself is a confidence crusher. Think about it: If you are waiting on a woman to get her act together before you can feel confident about approaching her or building a relationship with her, you’re giving her too much control over your own attitude and behaviors. Now, read the above statement again, and pay attention to the clue it contains because this is the foundational reason why most men fail with women. In case you’re not reading between the lines, the clue is that looking to a woman as your source of validation is always going to destroy your confidence. Always. Of course, there will be times when you meet a woman, and she's actually crazy about you. But if you’ve been around women any length of time, you know how quickly their moods can change. One minute it seems like they are worshiping the ground you walk on, and the next minute, you're the scum of the earth. No matter how “good” of a man you are, there’s no way you'll be able to keep your woman happy with you 100 percent of the time. The problem is that most men aren't aware of this, so their sense of self-value and confidence fluctuates depending on their woman's approval or disapproval of them. It doesn't even have to be a woman that they know well. All it takes is for one amazing beauty to walk into the room, and suddenly, his confidence “belongs” to her. Then he wonders why he's having so much trouble approaching her. He tells himself (and his friends tell him) that he has “nothing to lose,” and on a conscious level, he might even believe that. But in the pit of his stomach is a nagging feeling that he does have something to lose, something which is so valuable that the risk seems hardly worth it. That one thing is the tool that makes a man either powerful or weak  his self-confidence. Is this starting to make sense? If so, then you’re probably dying to know what the secret is to building magnetic self- confidence… Bad boy self-confidence is the best: http://www.howtoapproachher.com/go/makewomenwantyou Page 6 Chapter 2: How to Build Magnetic Confidence Have you ever known a man who seems to have ironclad, bulletproof self-confidence? Think about this for a moment, and consider at least one man you can think of. Now, as you were thinking of this confident man, ask yourself if there was any circumstance under which he would not feel confident. I bet you a dollar that you can think of at least one thing. Perhaps he was a man of all confidence when he was speaking to a crowd, but in the kitchen, he was timid and indecisive compared to a master chef. Or perhaps you would have to stand him at the top of a cliff with a bungee cord tied to his ankles and ask him to jump in order to find the “soft spot” in his confidence. No matter what though, this proves that confidence is relative. Everyone has at least one area of their life that they are completely confident in. Even men, or women, who are lazy and can’t keep a job normally have at least one thing they are confident about. Perhaps they are masters at computer games, or perhaps they know everything about cars or maybe they can tell you the director for every major movie that came out over the past 10 years. Maybe you know a man who is a genius when it comes to negotiating a business deal but who is a flop at racquetball. No matter what a man's talent is, one thing is certain: His expertise and confidence in that area is magnetic to other people who are interested in it or want to learn it. The same is true in the areas of your life where you possess confidence and talent. Stop and think about the things in your life that you are really good at. Can you teach these things to other people? Can you draw their attention and keep it as long as they are interested in the subject you're talking about? If so, then there’s no reason to doubt yourself anymore when it comes to your ability to possess magnetic confidence. You already have it. The problem (and the reason why you're reading this e-book) is that you don’t have that magnetic confidence when it comes to your interactions with women. But why is this? It is because of something that you don’t have that’s much more important than confidence: accurate knowledge of what really works. Think about it: If you had the indefinite answers for exactly what causes a woman to be attracted to a man, how much more confidence would you have in your interactions with women? Better yet, what if you knew that for women, attraction was not a choice but something that simply happened when they met a man who knew how to build attraction? Bad boy self-confidence is the best: http://www.howtoapproachher.com/go/makewomenwantyou Page 7 If you think this sounds impossible, here's something to consider: When an attractive woman walks into the room, do you ever notice how she turns the head of just about every man in the room, even men who are married or with their girlfriends? And what do most men say when their woman catches them staring at another woman? Most of them will say something like, “I’m a man; I can’t help it.” I mean let's be honest: Even the men who don't admit this out loud know in their hearts that it’s true: Attraction is not a choice. It’s biologically wired into us, and the best that we can do is force ourselves not to look at an attractive woman. But even that doesn't change the fact that we are attracted to her. Now, as impossible as it might sound, attraction works the same way with women. The really good news for we as men is that women are not attracted to the same things we are. We’re attracted mainly to a woman’s looks and her confidence. This leaves women at an unfortunate disadvantage, especially as they grow older and their beauty begins to fade. That’s why so many more women choose to get cosmetic surgery. But women are almost 100 percent attracted to a man because of his behaviors, and if you know exactly what these behaviors are, you can build magnetic and uncontrollable attraction with a woman. Now, how much more confident would you be if you possessed the exact knowledge of how to do that? How much easier would it be for you to transfer the confidence that you already possess in one area of your life over to your interactions with women? I’m guessing it would be pretty easy; it’s simply a matter of learning what really works and what doesn't work. Confidence is a natural state of mind and body, which comes as a result of being skilled and knowledgeable about what really produces results. So relax and know that you already possess all the confidence you need, just as every other man alive does. The task now is to learn what really works so that you can transfer that confidence to your interactions with women… Bad boy self-confidence is the best: http://www.howtoapproachher.com/go/makewomenwantyou Page 10 Chapter 4: How to Master the Fear of Rejection After reading the last chapter, I'm guessing that you probably understand why so many men are crippled by the fear of rejection. Most men believe that when a woman becomes demanding and tries to control him that he’d better either do what she wants or risk losing her. In other words, it’s because he fears rejection. But what this kind of man doesn’t realize is that giving in to a woman is the very thing that is causing her to reject him. She tests him by making some kind of bratty or unreasonable demand, but in secret, she’s testing him to see if he's man enough and confident enough to stand his ground. She wants him to stand his ground; it gives her the assurance that he’s strong enough to take care of her. It’s actually kind of interesting when you think about it: Most men back down and allow a woman to walk all over them because they’re afraid of being rejected by her. What if more men actually knew why women were testing them? What impact would the fear of rejection have on them then? What if they understood that they could actually create magnetic attraction by demonstrating and conducting themselves as men of confidence who could stand their ground when being tested by an attractive woman? I’m guessing that the fear of rejection would cause them to step up their game and to respond to women’s tests like men instead of like little boys. The results would be attraction  an uncontrollable attraction, which was created by a man who demonstrated unshakable confidence, in spite of being tested by a desirable woman. This is the key to mastering the fear of rejection  getting it to work in your favor. Of course you could always spend an hour a day in meditation, chanting positive affirmations to yourself and hoping that the fear of rejection will “go away.” But fear is a natural condition of our nervous system and that’s not what is going to change. What can change, however, are the actions you decide to take in response to the fear of rejection. You’re either going to keep giving in, believing that women really want you to do whatever they want and that if you don't give in you’ll be rejected. Or you can accept her test as a time to stand your ground or risk being rejected because you keep folding under pressure. Bad boy self-confidence is the best: http://www.howtoapproachher.com/go/makewomenwantyou Page 11 It’s really that simple; the fear of rejection can either work for you or against you. But wait a second  why the indirect testing and the games? Why can't women just tell us what they want? Well, that certainly would make it much easier for men, but then what? Then every man would know exactly what “act” to put on in order to create attraction with a woman. Women would be left with no way to test men and find out whether or not they were being phony. They’d have to come up with a new way to do it, something which everyone didn't already know the secret formula to  something that would give them into the man’s true nature and not because he had been told how to act. You see, a woman wants a man who is genuine. She doesn't want a man who is playing the part just to lure her in and then do a 180 on her later. Think about it: Would you want a woman to do this to you? So when you think about it, women test men indirectly as a defense against men who are faking self-confidence. Believe me, the more desirable and attractive a woman is, the better she has to be at testing men to see if their confidence is the real deal. So the key to mastering the fear of rejection is the same as the key to building unshakable confidence: It’s all about knowing how to build attraction with a woman so that you can be certain in your interactions with them. The first principle to creating this attraction and therefore avoiding rejection is to be your own man, whether she likes it or not, and to maintain control of your life when she is “trying” to control you. Remember, she doesn't really want to control you; she wants to find out if you’re a man of strength, a man of confidence, a man that she can feel safe around. This is what builds uncontrollable attraction with women. Now let’s look at the first step to passing a woman’s tests… Bad boy self-confidence is the best: http://www.howtoapproachher.com/go/makewomenwantyou Page 12 Chapter 5: How to Keep Women from Crushing Your Self- Esteem Now we know that the purpose of all women’s brattiness, drama and unreasonable demands is to test men, so how do we deal with the tests that women throw out if we’re not supposed to give in to them? Well, it begins with understanding which buttons women push when they test a man: They mess with his emotions. This shouldn't come as any surprise to you if you’ve been in even one serious relationship with a woman. In fact, if a woman is interested in you as a potential date, she’s probably going to start pushing your emotional buttons from the first interaction. At first, the tests will be minor, but the more serious she gets about you, the more intense her tests will get. When will they stop? Actually, that’s not a question that you want to ask because the answer is that the tests will never stop. A woman needs to know that she is secure and safe with her man, and you’d better believe that if she decides to spend her life with a man, she’s going to run a few tests now and then to find out if she’s still with a confident man. But this is nothing to get discouraged about. Once you learn how to “pass” a woman’s test, you can actually have a lot of fun with it. But first, you have to understand that women test men by manipulating their emotions. In case you think that this is evil, here’s something to consider: Women have been at a significant disadvantage to men in regard to power. It’s been this way for hundreds of years, and for the most part, it still is. First of all, women are physically weaker than men, which means that they can't get what they want by force or intimidation. Not only that, for thousands of years, women have been in social positions which have deprived them of a great deal of independence and power, so they’ve had to develop other means for getting what they want, such as the ability to manipulate a person’s emotions. So there’s no reason to be angry at her for pushing your emotional buttons in order to test your confidence as a man. They’re simply using the tools that they have depended on for thousands of years. This does put you at a slight disadvantage when it comes to maintaining your emotional stability when a woman tries to “take you to school” and test you. Bad boy self-confidence is the best: http://www.howtoapproachher.com/go/makewomenwantyou Page 15 Chapter 6: How to Become Your Best Self At the beginning of this e-book, you probably thought that the key to self-confidence was becoming this “superman” with the ladies. Are you beginning to see why the true secret to self-confidence is being who you are and letting other people deal with it whether or not they like it? If so, you’ve just taken the first step toward becoming your best self. Here’s something to consider: Most people aren't that good at being someone else. At best, they can learn to become an impostor or impersonator. It’s the same with you. You’re never going to be good at being someone else. In fact, if you’re like most people, you probably suck at being someone else, and that’s OK. It’s OK because you have the power to become a master at being yourself, and this is really pretty easy to do once you stop wasting your energy on trying to please everyone else. Remember how we talked about everyone having something in their lives which they were really good at and that caused them to have magnetic confidence? This principle proved to you that you already have the confidence you need to be successful with women. It’s simply a matter of learning what really creates attraction and using that knowledge to transfer your existing confidence over to your dating life. You now have a solid plan of action for doing that and for passing the tests that women throw at you. This alone is going to make you 10 times more attractive to women. The next step is becoming your best self, which starts with accepting yourself just as you are and never allowing anyone else to determine your worth as a man. I don’t care if you see the woman of your dreams and she tells you that you’re the biggest, geekiest loser she's ever met. You’re not responsible for her perception of you, and there's no point in hiding parts of your personality for fear that you'll get this response from someone. Once you realize this, you'll be free to express all the parts of who you are and to become “whole.” Now, I realize the idea of becoming whole carries with it the suggestion that you are “broken,” but you’re not broken. You simply have parts of your character and personality that haven’t been allowed to mature with the rest of you because they've been in hiding. You’ve been hiding them when it comes to your interactions with women out of fear of criticism and rejection. Bad boy self-confidence is the best: http://www.howtoapproachher.com/go/makewomenwantyou Page 16 If you’ve gotten into the habit of hiding these things in those situations, I’m guessing that might have spilled over to other areas of your life as well. This will all change once you stop allowing exterior things to determine how you're going to act or what parts of you you’re going to contribute in your interactions with people. The secret to becoming your best self is accepting everything about yourself and just being who you are. The more you do this, the more self-awareness you’ll have and the faster you’ll master the art of being you. But the longer you leave all those “unworthy” parts in hiding, the more unrefined, timid and immature those parts of you will be. Accepting these parts of yourself and allowing them to grow and mature will help you to become whole, which is the key to building confidence and attracting desirable women into your life. You’ll also stop attracting women who aren’t whole in themselves, which is the next subject we’re going to tackle… TIP: Start keeping a daily journal and keep track of how you interact with people. Start asking yourself if there are personality traits that you portray in some situations and around some people, while at other times you hide them. Start asking yourself if you are hiding these personality traits out of fear of judgment or disapproval. This will build your awareness and help you to stop denying and hiding parts of who you are. Bad boy self-confidence is the best: http://www.howtoapproachher.com/go/makewomenwantyou Page 17 Chapter 7: How to Stop Attracting Women With Emotional Problems As you were reading the previous chapter about becoming your best self, you might have started to realize that these “hidden” parts of your personality represent your more emotional side. That’s because our emotions are what make us vulnerable, and therefore, what we feel that we have to protect. The problem is that the more repressed your emotions are, the less you understand them and the less in touch you are with them. This creates an emotional deficit in your life, which can only be filled one way: by attaching yourself to someone who has an overflow of emotions to make up for it  and that’s not a good thing. Men who attract women with emotional problems are normally men who don't have a lot of control and understanding of their own emotions, so they have to find a way to create some emotional intensity in their life…enter the drama queen. In psychology, this is called a “merger wish.” It’s when you attach yourself to the other person in order to make up for something that is missing within you. Some people even believe that this kind of unhealthy attachment is love, so they keep getting into unhealthy codependent relationships because of it. I'm sorry to be so blunt about this, but if you keep attracting women with emotional problems into your life, it’s because you have your own issues to deal with. Think about it: The common denominator in all of your relationships is you. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you’ll be empowered to get to work on the root of the problem. The good news is that this can be accomplished by applying the principles you have already learned in this e-book. The more you practice these things, the more bulletproof you will become to drama and the less drama queens you’ll have in your life. You see, men who refuse to put up with drama from women simply don’t end up with women who have emotional problems. This is because they hold themselves to a higher standard and refuse to allow themselves to be controlled by a woman’s tests. This causes two things to happen: First, it causes the women who are genuine drama queens to give up and to move on to a man who they can control easily. But those kinds of women are very few and far between, so the men don’t miss out on much…and avoid a lot of heartache. Bad boy self-confidence is the best: http://www.howtoapproachher.com/go/makewomenwantyou Page 20 using mystery and curiosity and by showing her that you’re a man who takes charge and does things on his own terms. Bad boy self-confidence is the best: http://www.howtoapproachher.com/go/makewomenwantyou Page 21 Bonus Chapter: The 10 Biggest Mistakes Men Make in Attracting Women As a conclusion to this e-book, I thought it might be a good idea to give you a pointblank checklist that you can go over every day to make sure that you are not making any of the 10 fatal mistakes, which land most men either in the friends zone or all alone on Friday nights: Mistake #1: Doing Whatever She “Wants” By now you’ve probably realized that women aren't going to be direct about what they want. They’re going to test you, or they’re going to expect you to play detective. Either way, most men make the mistake of giving in to a woman’s tests because they don’t know how to read between the lines and create attraction. Mistake #2: Trying to Impress Instead of Attract This is the guy who is trying to win a woman's attraction by buying nice things, taking her out to nice dinners and doing all kinds of things to impress her. The problem is that all of these things communicate the following message: “I’m not confident enough in my ability to attract you with my personality, so I’m going to try to impress you with other stuff instead.” Mistake #3: Going for the “Close” Too Soon Don’t let anyone fool you; women love sex just as much as men do. The major difference is that they don't approach sex the same way. They want it to be mysterious, spontaneous and romantic. Most men make the mistake of trying to treat sex like a business deal. They want to “close the deal” as soon as possible. The problem is that women see this and get their guard up. They get turned off Little do these men know that holding back, teasing and giving her the opposite of what she expects a man to do will get her initiating sex within the first few dates. Mistake #4: Being Too Nice As you’re reading this e-book, you've probably read a few reasons why the nice guy who does everything that the woman wants isn’t how it's done. Again, women want to know that a man is being genuine. The problem is that most guys who think of themselves as nice believe that they’re really doing things to be nice to the woman, when in reality, they’re doing the same thing as the rest of us: Trying to get what they want. Bad boy self-confidence is the best: http://www.howtoapproachher.com/go/makewomenwantyou Page 22 But a woman is more likely to accept a man who doesn’t try to become someone he's not by killing with kindness. Instead, she’s more likely to accept a man who has the attitude of: “This is who I am, and I’m certain of that. I don’t need to change for anyone.” This is a confident man who she knows she can count on not to fold when things get tough. Mistake #5: Being Too Available If you’re in the habit of answering the phone every time a woman calls or jumping all over her like a golden retriever who hasn't seen his master in two weeks every time that you see or speak to her, you’re making yourself too available. This basically communicates the message that you don't have a life outside of her, which is a fatal blow to her perception of your social value. Better to stick to your own agenda, and show her that she has to earn her spot in your life. This will show her that you’re a prize to be won. Mistake #6: Being Indecisive Nothing is worse than a man who doesn't know what he wants and who leaves all the decision-making up to his woman instead. Many men disguise this type of indecisiveness by saying, “We can do whatever you want, baby.” Remember, a woman is after a man who is confident and who knows how to take charge. She doesn't want the overwhelming pressure of making all the decisions, and that’s why the “We can do whatever you want, baby” lands a man directly in the friends zone. Mistake #7: Bragging This is similar to trying to impress a woman instead of attracting her. Bragging is a waste of breath and communicates to the woman that you might actually have your doubts about what you’re bragging about. For example, if you have to tell a woman how confident you are, how confident are you really? If you have to tell a woman what a great catch you are, is it because you have doubts yourself? Better to be a man of few words, and let your actions do the talking. Mistake #8: Trying to Be Interesting Instead of Interested Most men run full blast down the dead-end road of trying to be interesting to the woman instead of being interested in her. Let’s be honest: No one really wants to know about how interesting you are. They want to know how interested you are in them  it’s the same with a woman.