Effective Army Writing: Plain Language Techniques for Clear Communication, Schemes and Mind Maps of English

Download Effective Army Writing: Plain Language Techniques for Clear Communication and more Schemes and Mind Maps English in PDF only on Docsity! MSL202: Army Doctrine and Team Development Lesson 15: Writing in the Army Style Revision Date: 31 March 2017 Student Readings Pre-Class Readings NOTE: The readings enclosed in this handout are excerpts from a variety of sources. Some of these sources include Army doctrine with a direct correlation to the regulatory expectations of the content being discussed, while other sources may include products from industry, having an indirect, yet relevant correlation. Regardless, these readings are meant to serve as formative information resources towards instilling a foundation of knowledge on the subject(s) that will be discussed in future classes. Please reference the following pages, as shown in the Table of Contents below and engage the reading in the manner prescribed (i.e. read, skim, or review). Table of Contents Read AR 25-50, Preparing and Managing Correspondence, 17 May 2013, Ch 1 and 2 Read TRADOC Action Officer Staff Writing; pp 11-1 to 11-17 Skim Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011 (Rev. 1 May 2011); pp 1 to 60 codes, acronyms, or military jargon in letters addressed to persons outside DOD. Military personnel will use their full grades (for example, lieutenant general, major general, captain, and sergeant first class) in letters. c. Abbreviation guidelines. (1) Established abbreviations are acceptable in all but the most formal writing. For reading ease, use only well- known abbreviations or those you believe the recipient knows. (2) When a title or complete term will be used repeatedly in a document, use a shortened version of the title or term instead of an acronym; for example, instead of “military interdepartmental purchase request,” use “purchase request.” If the complete title or term is lengthy, complex, or not well known, place the abbreviated form in parentheses after the first time the title or term is used. Thereafter, use only the shortened form. Do not use this method if the term will not be used repeatedly. Avoid beginning a sentence with an abbreviation or using them in the subject line, except for words like “Mr.,” “Dr.,” “Ms.,” and so on. (3) For further guidance on correct capitalization when spelling out an abbreviation, refer to the U.S. Army Records Management and Declassification Agency’s Web site, https://www.rmda.army.mil/abbreviation/MainMenu.asp and Joint Publication (JP) 1–02 at http://www.dtic.mil/doctrine/dod_dictionary/index.html. d. Acronym guidelines. (1) Use military and civilian acronyms in memorandums, if appropriate. Do not, however, use military acronyms when writing to individuals or organizations not familiar with their use. When an acronym is used, spell out the acronym the first time it is used and follow it with the acronym in parentheses. Thereafter, use the acronym. Do not overuse acronyms. (2) For further guidance on correct capitalization when spelling out an acronym, see AR 25–52, the Records Management and Declassification Agency’s Web site, https://www.rmda.army.mil/abbreviation/MainMenu.asp, and JP 1–02 at http://www.dtic.mil/doctrine/dod_dictionary/index.html. 1–15. Letterhead a. Letterhead identifies the originating organization and provides the complete standardized mailing address. b. Computer-generated letterhead is used for all official correspondence. For further guidance on using letterhead, see AR 25–30 and DA Pam 25–40. 1–16. Paper Paper used for Army correspondence generally will be the standard size (81⁄2 by 11 inches). Use computer-generated letterhead for the first page of all memorandums and letters except when an approved form is prescribed. Use plain white paper for continuing pages. 1–17. Type fonts and sizes When creating official correspondence, use type fonts and sizes that make the correspondence easy to read and understand. The following guidelines will provide the best results: a. A font with a point size of 12 is recommended. b. Preferred type font is Arial. c. Unusual type styles, such as Script, will not be used in official correspondence. 1–18. Ink color Correspondence may be signed in blue or black ink. Black ink will be used for date stamps. 1–19. Copies a. Record copy. Make one record or file copy of correspondence after the original has been signed and dated. Stamp or write “record copy” or “file copy” along the edge of the right margin. Record copies may be stored electronically. Maintain file copies according to Army recordkeeping system requirements (see AR 25–400–2). b. Reading file copies. If reading files are used, maintain according to Army recordkeeping system requirements. c. Copy furnished. Use “copy furnished” (CF:) on memorandums to keep other than the prime addressee(s) informed of an action. Make copies after the original has been signed and dated. d. Courtesy copy. Use “courtesy copy” (cc:) on letters to inform other readers of the subject if they have a need to know or should receive a copy of the correspondence. Make copies after the original has been signed and dated. e. Electronic records. Maintain according to Army recordkeeping system requirements (see AR 25–400–2). 1–20. Classified and special handling correspondence a. General. Information that requires protection against unauthorized disclosure in the interest of national security will be classified. Correspondence containing classified information will be safeguarded as prescribed in AR 380–5. The contents of a classified communication will be revealed only to individuals who have the appropriate security clearance and whose official duties require the information. 3AR 25–50 • 17 May 2013 b. Marking classified correspondence. See chapter 8 of this regulation and AR 380–5 for detailed instructions on marking and downgrading correspondence. c. Using for official use only marking. See AR 25–55 and AR 380–5 for the proper use and marking of for official use only (FOUO) material. d. Controlled unclassified information. See Executive Order (EO) 13556. 1–21. Identifying a point of contact Normally, when writing any type of correspondence, the writer or point of contact (POC) will be identified by military grade or civilian prefix, first and last name, commercial and/or DSN telephone number, and, if appropriate, position, fax number, and email address. This information is generally placed in the last paragraph of the correspondence. 1–22. Identifying the originating office Office symbols and/or office names are used to identify the office that prepared the document for signature. It will normally match the POC’s organization and may or may not correspond with the signature block. a. Office symbols are used when addressing or replying to memorandums. See the U.S. Army Addresses and Office Symbols Online Web site at https://www.rmda.army.mil/AAO/Welcome.aspx. b. Office names may be used when addressing or replying to letters. 1–23. Expressing a date a. Dates on memorandums. Express dates on memorandums in the following formats: 1 January 2013 or 1 Jan 13. The four digits for the year will be used only when the month is spelled out or when date stamps use abbreviated months and four-digit year. b. Dates on letters. Express dates on letters and refer to dates within letters only in the following format: January 1, 2013. c. Separating date elements. Avoid separating any of the three date elements (day, month, and year) from each other. If absolutely necessary, the four-digit year may be carried over to the next line. 1–24. Expressing time Military time will be expressed in a group of four digits, from 0001 to 2400, based on the 24–hour clock system. The first two digits represent the hour after midnight and the last two digits represent the minutes. For example, 1:37 p.m. civilian time is expressed as 1337 military time. The word “hours” will not be used in conjunction with military time. Civilian time is used when writing letters. Military time will be used for memorandums. 1–25. Suspense date a. Use a suspense date on memorandums when a reply is required by a certain date (see fig 2–2). Show the suspense date two lines above the date line and in the body of the memorandum in one of the following formats: 1 Jan 13 or 1 January 2013. Do not use a suspense date on a letter. b. Consider the following time factors in setting a suspense date on correspondence: (1) The number of days required to send the communications. (2) The number of days needed to complete the action. (3) The number of days required to submit the reply. 1–26. Addressing Address correspondence and envelopes as prescribed in AR 25–51 and chapter 5 of this regulation. 1–27. Postscripts Do not use postscripts in Army correspondence. 1–28. References List references in the first paragraph of the correspondence. (Enclose copies of references that are not readily available to the addressee(s) or list an Army Knowledge Online (AKO) or public Web site link that is accessible to all agencies on the distribution list (for example, https://www.us.army.mil/suite/doc/3456789)). List and number references in the order they are mentioned in the correspondence. However, when references are not included in the body of the correspondence, number and list them in order of precedence and ascending date order in the first paragraph. As a minimum, include the following information: a. Publications. When referencing publications, include the number, title, and date (for example, AR 25–50 (Preparing and Managing Correspondence), 5 October 2013). In policy correspondence, referencing basic directives by the number and title prevents the correspondence from having to be revised and republished when one of the references is updated. b. Correspondence. When referencing correspondence, include the type of correspondence, organization of origin, 4 AR 25–50 • 17 May 2013 office symbol, date, and subject of the correspondence (for example, Memorandum, HQ AMC, AMCIO–F, 20 Feb 13, subject: Training for U.S. Army Materiel Command Personnel; Letter, Office of the General Counsel, SAGC, July 16, 2013, subject: if used; and Message, HQ TRADOC, ATPL–TDD–OR, 101623Z Sep 13, subject: Correspondence Management). When referencing an email or fax number, use the name of the sender and office symbol, if included (for example, Email, HQ TRADOC, ATPL–TDD–OR, Mr. Samuel Jones, 3 Nov 13, subject: Correspondence Manage- ment; and Fax, HQ FORSCOM, Ms. Ella Johns, 25 Feb 13, subject: Copier Management). Note. Enter subjects and dates verbatim. c. Public law. When referencing public laws, include the name, public law number, section, statute number, and date (for example, National Environmental Policy Act of 1969, Public Law No. 91–190, Section 103, 83 Statute 852, 853 (1970) or Social Security Number Privacy and Identity Theft Prevention Act of 2003, H.R. 2971, 108th Cong. § 101 (2003)). d. Classified or unclassified material. Use chapter 8 and AR 380–5 for portion marking when referencing unclassi- fied material in a classified document or when referencing classified material in a classified or unclassified document. e. Paragraphs of publications. (1) When referencing a publication, cite its number, title, and date: DA Memo 25–52 (Staff Action Process and Correspondence Policies), 1 May 2008. (2) Additional references need only include the regulation and paragraph number (for example, DA Memo 25–52, para 3–1a). f. Telephone conversations or meetings. When referencing telephone conversations or meetings, first cite the communication, then names of the individuals, headquarters or office of location, date, and subject, if applicable. (1) Reference telephone conversation between Mr. William Smith, this office, and Ms. Linda Jones, TRADOC, 23 Jan 13, subject: Office Copiers. (2) Reference meeting between Ms. Linda Jones, TRADOC, and Mr. William Smith, this office, 23 Jan 13, subject: Office Copiers. g. Material that has the same subject. In memorandums, you may use the term “subject as above” or the acronym “SAB” in lieu of repeating the subject. You cannot do so in letters. 1–29. Page and paragraph numbering See chapters 2 and 3 for exact guidance on paragraph and page numbering and placement of the page number. 1–30. Using boldface and italic type for emphasis Use boldface or italic type to emphasize a specific or important fact. Overuse of this method for emphasis (like overuse of the exclamation point) defeats its purpose. In general, substitute more specific or forceful words to gain emphasis. 1–31. Distribution formulas Develop a distribution formula that is easy to understand and use. Make sure it is a fast and cost-effective way to distribute information to a great number of addresses. Do not use internal distribution formulas for correspondence external to your command or installation (see AR 25–51). 1–32. Identifying and listing enclosures Use enclosures for memorandums and letters. Number and attach all enclosures in the same order they are mentioned in the body of the correspondence. Identify each enclosure in the lower right corner of the first page before making copies. Specify enclosures in the text. See paragraph 4–2 for the proper listing of enclosures. Attachments to enclosures are referred to as enclosures to enclosures (for example, enclosure 3 to enclosure 2). 1–33. Nine-digit ZIP code (ZIP+4 code) Use the ZIP+4 code on all return envelope addresses and correspondence. The ZIP+4 code will be used on all letterhead. 1–34. North Atlantic Treaty Organization correspondence For North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) correspondence purposes, see standardization agreements. All NATO correspondence will be prepared according to applicable NATO directives. 1–35. Recordkeeping requirements for delegations of signature authority Records of delegations of signature authority must be created and maintained in accordance with AR 25–400–2. 5AR 25–50 • 17 May 2013 (2) Copies. Prepare only the number of copies needed. See paragraph 1–19 of this regulation for more information on record, reading file, copy-furnished, and courtesy copies. b. Dates. Type or stamp the day, month, and year on the memorandum flush with the right margin. c. Margins. Use standard margins: 1 inch from the left, right, and bottom edges. Do not justify right margins. d. Spacing. See figures 2–1 and 2–2. e. Abbreviations, brevity codes, and acronyms. See paragraph 1–14 of this regulation. f. Signature blocks. See paragraph 6–4 of this regulation. 2–4. Format When writing a memorandum, use the block style format (flush with the left margin) with three parts: heading, body, and closing. a. Heading. The heading has six elements— (1) Office symbol. Type the office symbol on the second line below the seal. The office symbol identifies the writer’s office (for example, DAPE–PRR). Other information may follow the office symbol when needed and if not part of the subject line. Some examples are the name of an individual, military grade, primary military occupational specialty, contract number, Army Records Information Management System (ARIMS) record number (file number), or bill of lading number. Do not crowd the office or reference symbol line. If the additional information is lengthy, use a second line, flush with the left margin. (2) Army Records Information Management System record number. Follow Army recordkeeping requirements according to AR 25–400–2. Commands and agencies may place a record number after the office symbol on corre- spondence. If used, place the record number two spaces after the office symbol in parentheses. (3) Date. (a) Correspondence must be dated. The date may be typed or stamped. (b) Place the date on the same line as the office symbol flush with the right margin after the correspondence has been signed. (c) Express dates in the following formats: 1 January 2013 or 1 Jan 13. Use four digits for the year only when the month is spelled out. The only exception to this rule is if a date stamp uses the abbreviated month and the four-digit year. (4) Suspense date. Use a suspense date if a reply is needed by a certain date. Do not impose a suspense date without a compelling reason. Place the suspense date flush with the right margin two lines above the memorandum date. Precede the suspense date with S: (for example, S: 1 June 2013 or S: 1 Jun 13) (see fig 2–2). (5) “MEMORANDUM FOR” line. Type “MEMORANDUM FOR” on the third line below the office symbol. Write to the office that is expected to complete the action. Do not simply address an action to a headquarters if you know which element of that headquarters will receive the action. If you are sending the memorandum to someone’s attention, place the person’s name in parentheses after the office symbol (see fig 2–2). Exception: When used for Exclusive For correspondence, appreciation, and commendation, address the memorandum to the name and title of the addressee. When a second line is needed for the address, begin it flush with the left margin except for multiple-address memorandums, which will be indented 1⁄4 inch. Type addresses in either all uppercase letters or uppercase and lowercase letters. Be consistent. Do not mix the two styles. (a) Single-address memorandums. See figures 2–3 and 2–4 for examples of memorandums with a single address. Figure 2–3 gives an example for HQDA, and figure 2–4 gives an example for an ASCC. When using a single address, type “MEMORANDUM FOR” and the address on the same line. (b) Multiple-address memorandums. See figures 2–5 through 2–7 for examples of memorandums with multiple addresses. Note that “multiple-address memorandums” is up to five addresses. If the address extends more than one line, indent the second line 1⁄4 inch. (c) “SEE DISTRIBUTION” memorandums. If a memorandum is sent to more than five recipients, use the “SEE DISTRIBUTION” format (see fig 2–8) for the addresses. Type the words “SEE DISTRIBUTION” one space after the words “MEMORANDUM FOR.” On the second line below the last line of the signature block or enclosure listing, whichever is lower, type “DISTRIBUTION:” and block the distribution formula(s) or addresses (flush with the left margin) as shown in figures 2–8 through 2–10. The distribution list may be continued on the second page (see fig 2–8). If necessary, the complete distribution list may be typed on a separate page. On the first page, second line below the last line of the signature block or enclosure listing (whichever is lower), type “DISTRIBUTION:” and block flush with the left margin the words “(see next page)” (see fig 2–9). Prepare one original and make copies for additional addressees after the signature. The envelope for an addressee on a “SEE DISTRIBUTION” list must show the complete address. (d) Memorandums “THRU.” Use a memorandum “THRU” to let other personnel know what is being done and give them the opportunity to comment, especially if their comment will affect the action. Use this format when an action must be endorsed by several recipients, in turn. See figure 2–11 for the format for a single-address memorandum “THRU.” Use the format in figure 2–12 when sending the memorandum “THRU” more than one recipient. (6) Subject line. Type the subject line on the second line below the last line of the address. Use only one subject and 7AR 25–50 • 17 May 2013 write the subject in 10 words or less, if possible. Avoid using abbreviations in the subject line; however, if the subject needs more than 10 words, limit the number of words by using commonly recognized authorized acronyms (for example, DA, DOD, FY, and HQDA). If the subject is more than one line, begin the second line flush with the left margin (see fig 2–13). Type “SUBJECT:” in uppercase letters (see examples). b. Body (text). (1) Beginning. Begin the text on the third line below the last line of the subject. (a) List any references in the first paragraph. See paragraph 1–28 of this regulation for instructions on how to list references. (b) Begin the memorandum with a short, clear purpose sentence. (c) Put the recommendation, conclusion, or most important information (the main point) next. (Some writing combines the purpose and the main point.) (d) Clearly separate each major section. (e) Ensure that the POC line is in the last paragraph of the body of the correspondence. (2) Spacing. Single space the text with double spacing between paragraphs and subparagraphs. Single space one- paragraph memorandums (see fig 2–13). On occasion, one-paragraph correspondence requires subparagraphs. Sub- paragraph spacing is the same as for major paragraphs. (3) Indenting. When paragraphs are subdivided, indent them as shown in figure 2–1. (4) Numbering paragraphs. (a) Do not number a one-paragraph memorandum. (b) If the memorandum has more than one paragraph, number the paragraphs as outlined in figure 2–1. c. Closing. Major elements are the authority line, signature block, and enclosure listing. Subelements are the distribution listing (if needed) and CF line. (1) Authority line. See chapter 6 and appendix D of this regulation. Type the authority line at the left margin in uppercase letters on the second line below the last line of the text. The authority line is used by individuals properly designated as having the authority to sign for the commander or head of an office. (2) Signature block. See chapter 6 and appendix D of this regulation for examples. (a) Placement. Begin the signature block in the center of the page on the fifth line below the authority line. If you are not using an authority line, begin the signature block on the fifth line below the last line of text. (b) Format. See appendix D of this regulation. (3) Enclosures. Number and attach enclosures in the same order they appear in the memorandum. For only one enclosure (encl), do not precede “Encl” with the number 1; use only “Encl.” For more than one enclosure, use “Encls.” Begin the enclosure listing at the left margin on the same line as the signature block (see chap 4). (4) “DISTRIBUTION” listing (if needed). See figures 2–8 through 2–10. (5) Copies furnished. See figures 2–1, 2–8, 2–13, and 2–14. Use the CF: line to inform other recipients of the subject only if they have a need to know or an interest in the subject. Type “CF:” on the second line below the last line of the signature block, enclosure listing, or distribution listing, whichever is lower. (Do not spell out CF.) If none of the CF addressees will be provided copies, type “wo/encls” in parentheses after CF: (for example, CF: (wo/encls)). 2–5. Multiple-page memorandums Try to avoid multiple-page memorandums. However, when they are necessary, consider using enclosures for additional information. If a memorandum is longer than one page, see figure 2–2 and follow these rules: a. Type the office symbol at the left margin 1 inch from the top edge of the paper. b. Type the subject of the memorandum at the left margin on the line below the office symbol. c. Begin the continuation of text at the left margin on the third line below the subject. When continuing a memorandum on another page— (1) Do not divide a paragraph of three lines or fewer between pages. At least two lines of the divided paragraph must appear on each page. (2) Include at least two words on each page of any sentence that has been divided between pages. (3) Do not hyphenate a word between pages. (4) Do not type the authority line and the signature block on the continuation page without at least two lines of the last paragraph. If, however, the last paragraph or subparagraph has only one line, it may be placed alone on the continuation page with the authority line and signature block. d. Center the page number approximately 1 inch from the bottom of the page. 2–6. Memorandum of understanding or memorandum of agreement a. Memorandum of understanding (MOU). Use an MOU to describe broad concepts of mutual understanding, goals, and plans shared by the parties when no transfer of funds for services is anticipated. b. Memorandum of agreement (MOA). Use an MOA to establish and document common legal terms that establish a 8 AR 25–50 • 17 May 2013 “conditional agreement” where transfer of funds for services is anticipated. MOAs do not obligate funds, but establish the terms for future services. c. Format. When an MOU or MOA is required, use the format shown in figures 2–15 and 2–16. (1) Heading. Prepare the MOU/MOA on plain white paper. If an MOU/MOA is between two Army activities, DA letterhead is appropriate. This provision may be altered to meet internal or special requirements of the parties involved i n t h e a g r e e m e n t . C e n t e r t h e t i t l e “ M E M O R A N D U M O F U N D E R S T A N D I N G ” o r “ M E M O R A N D U M O F AGREEMENT” on the second line below the seal. Type the word “BETWEEN,” also centered, on the line immedi- ately following the title. Center the names of agreeing agencies, separated by the word “AND” on the line immediately following the word “BETWEEN.” The requirement for centering may be altered when more than two agreeing agencies are involved or when the agency titles are too lengthy to be typed on one line. (2) Subject. Type the word “SUBJECT:” at the left margin on the second line below the last line of the agreeing agencies’ titles. (3) Text. Begin the first line of text at the left margin on the third line below the last line of the subject. The basic text will generally contain, but is not limited to, the following seven categories: (a) Reference. List references that are directly related to the document. (b) Purpose. In as few words as possible, clearly define or state the purpose of the MOU or MOA. (c) Issue. Present a clear, concise statement of the issues, to include a brief background. (d) Scope. Add a short and to-the-point statement specifying the area of the MOU or MOA. (e) Understandings, agreements, support, resources, and responsibilities. List the understandings, agreements, sup- port, resources, and responsibilities of and between each agency involved. (f) Effective date. Enter the date the MOU or MOA will become effective. (g) Review, revision, modification, or cancellation date. Enter the date as mutually agreed to by the signers or their designated representatives. (4) Paragraph numbering. Use the same paragraph numbering and indentations as for general-use memorandums. (5) Signature blocks. Signature blocks on MOUs and MOAs are unique because the signature blocks of the agreeing agencies’ parties appear on the same line. (a) Type signature blocks on the fifth line following the last line of text. (b) Precede all signature blocks by overscoring as shown in figures 2–15 and 2–16. (c) Include the name, title, and agency for civilians and name, military grade, branch, and title for military personnel. Include the date each official signs. (d) Place the signature blocks in protocol order, with the senior official on the right. If an MOU has three agreeing agencies, center the signature bock of the highest ranking official at the bottom. Place the signature block of the next–highest ranking official above on the right. Place the signature block of the junior official above on the left. 2–7. Memorandum for record a. Use. Use the MFR to show the authority or basis for an action taken. You may also use the MFR to document informal meetings or telephone conversations when official business was conducted (see fig 2–17). b. Contents. (1) Heading. Include the office symbol, date, and subject. (2) Body. Show all background information having a direct bearing on the matter. Include the authority and basis for the action to inform reviewing and signing officials. c. Format. See figure 2–17. 9AR 25–50 • 17 May 2013 Figure 2–2. Preparing a memorandum with a suspense date (continued) 12 AR 25–50 • 17 May 2013 Figure 2–3. Addressing a single-address Headquarters, Department of the Army memorandum 13AR 25–50 • 17 May 2013 Figure 2–4. Addressing a single-address Army service component command memorandum 14 AR 25–50 • 17 May 2013 Figure 2–7. Addressing an Army command multiple-address memorandum 17AR 25–50 • 17 May 2013 Figure 2–8. Preparing a SEE DISTRIBUTION addressed memorandum 18 AR 25–50 • 17 May 2013 Figure 2–8. Preparing a SEE DISTRIBUTION addressed memorandum (continued) 19AR 25–50 • 17 May 2013 Figure 2–10. Preparing a memorandum with a distribution formula 22 AR 25–50 • 17 May 2013 Figure 2–11. Preparing a single-address MEMORANDUM THRU 23AR 25–50 • 17 May 2013 Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 ii Revision 1 Changes We have not made any substantive changes in revision 1. We fixed the footer, corrected a few misspelled words, and modified our choice of words to be more concise. We made the formatting more consistent in Section V – Test. We added a few more references to outside publications. And, we changed the file name of this document to make it more descriptive and user-friendly. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 iii Table of Contents Introduction ................................................................................................................................... i Revision 1 Changes ...................................................................................................................... ii Table of Contents ........................................................................................................................ iii I. Think about your audience ..................................................................................................... 1 a. Identify and write for your audience ............................................................................... 2 b. Address separate audiences separately ........................................................................... 3 II. Organize ................................................................................................................................... 5 a. Organize to meet your readers’ needs ............................................................................. 6 b. Address one person, not a group ..................................................................................... 9 c. Use lots of useful headings .............................................................................................. 10 d. Write short sections .......................................................................................................... 13 III. Write your document .......................................................................................................... 15 a. Words .................................................................................................................................. 16 1. Verbs ............................................................................................................................ 17 i. Use active voice ...................................................................................................... 18 ii. Use the simplest form of a verb .......................................................................... 20 iii. Avoid hidden verbs ............................................................................................. 21 iv. Use “must” to indicate requirements ............................................................... 23 v. Use contractions when appropriate ................................................................... 25 2. Nouns and pronouns ................................................................................................. 26 i. Don’t turn verbs into nouns ................................................................................. 27 ii. Use pronouns to speak directly to readers ........................................................ 28 iii. Minimize abbreviations ...................................................................................... 31 3. Other word issues ...................................................................................................... 33 i. Use short, simple words ........................................................................................ 34 ii. Omit unnecessary words ..................................................................................... 36 iii. Dealing with definitions ..................................................................................... 39 iv. Use the same term consistently for a specific thought or object ................... 43 Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 iv v. Avoid legal, foreign, and technical jargon ........................................................ 44 vi. Don’t use slashes .................................................................................................. 46 b. Sentences ............................................................................................................................ 47 1. Write short sentences ................................................................................................. 48 2. Keep subject, verb, and object close together ......................................................... 50 3. Avoid double negatives and exceptions to exceptions ........................................ 52 4. Place the main idea before exceptions and conditions ......................................... 54 5. Place words carefully ................................................................................................ 58 c. Paragraphs .......................................................................................................................... 60 1. Have a topic sentence ................................................................................................ 61 2. Use transition words.................................................................................................. 62 3. Write short paragraphs ............................................................................................. 64 4. Cover only one topic in each paragraph ................................................................. 66 d. Other aids to clarity .......................................................................................................... 67 1. Use examples .............................................................................................................. 68 2. Use lists ........................................................................................................................ 69 3. Use tables to make complex material easier to understand ................................ 72 4. Consider using illustrations ..................................................................................... 75 5. Use emphasis to highlight important concepts ..................................................... 80 6. Minimize cross-references ........................................................................................ 81 7. Design your document for easy reading ................................................................ 85 IV. Write for the web ................................................................................................................. 86 a. How do people use the web? .......................................................................................... 87 b. Write for your users .......................................................................................................... 89 c. Identify your users and their top tasks .......................................................................... 90 d. Write web content ............................................................................................................. 91 e. Repurpose print material for the web ............................................................................ 92 f. Avoid PDF overload .......................................................................................................... 93 g. Use plain-language techniques on the web .................................................................. 94 h. Avoid meaningless formal language ............................................................................. 95 Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 2 a. Identify and write for your audience You have to grab your audience’s attention if you want to get your ideas across. Let’s face it, people want to know just what applies to them. The best way to grab and hold someone’s attention is to figure out who they are and what they want to know. Put yourself in their shoes; it will give you a new perspective. (Read Identify your users and their top tasks for more information.) Tell your audience why the material is important to them. Say, “If you want a research grant, here’s what you have to do.” Or, “If you want to mine federal coal, here’s what you should know.” Or, “If you are planning a trip to Rwanda, read this first.” Identifying your audience will do more than ensure that you write clearly. It will also help you focus on the audience’s needs. Start out by thinking about what your audience knows about the situation now. Then, think about how to guide them from their current knowledge to what you need them to know. To help you do this, try answering the following questions: • Who is my audience? • What does my audience already know about the subject? • What does my audience need to know? • What questions will my audience have? • What’s the best outcome for my agency? What do I need to say to get this outcome? • What’s the best outcome for our audience? What do I need to say to get this outcome? Sources • Garner, Bryan A., Legal Writing in Plain English, 2001, University of Chicago Press, Chicago, pp. 93-96. • Securities and Exchange Commission, Plain English Handbook, 1998, Washington, DC, p. 9. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 3 b. Address separate audiences separately An important part of writing for your audience is addressing separate audiences separately. Many documents address more than one audience. Documents that mix material intended for different audiences may confuse readers. By addressing different audiences in the same place, you make it harder for each audience to find the material that applies to them. In regulations, this may make it difficult for each audience to comply with your agency’s requirements. The following example shows a regulation that treats each regulated group separately in its own subpart, rather than mixing all the groups together in the same subpart. For an example of a rule that does not address separate groups separately, see 5 CFR 1320 (http://ecfr.gpoaccess.gov/cgi/t/text/text- idx?c=ecfr&rgn=div5&view=text&node=5:3.0.2.3.9&idno=5 this link takes a long time to load). Title 40 — Protection of Environment Chapter I — Environmental Protection Agency Part 745 — Lead-Based Paint Poisoning Prevention In Certain Residential Structures * * * Subpart E — Residential Property Renovation (Firms renovating structures) * * * 745.84 Information distribution requirements. 745.85 Work practice standards. 745.86 Recordkeeping and reporting requirements. * * * Subpart F — Disclosure Of Known Lead-Based Paint And/Or Lead-Based Paint Hazards Upon Sale Or Lease Of Residential Property (Sellers/Lessors) Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 4 745.107 Disclosure requirements for sellers and lessors. 745.110 Opportunity to conduct an evaluation. 745.113 Certification and acknowledgment of disclosure. * * * Subpart L — Lead-Based Paint Activities (Training programs) 745.225 Accreditation of training programs: target housing and child-occupied facilities. 745.226 Certification of individuals and firms engaged in lead-based paint activities: target housing and child-occupied facilities. 745.227 Work practice standards for conducting lead-based paint activities: target housing and child-occupied facilities. * * * Subpart Q — State And Indian Tribal Programs (States and Tribes) * * * 745.324 Authorization of State or Tribal programs. 745.325 Lead-based paint activities: State and Tribal program requirements. 745.326 Renovation: State and Tribal program requirements. 745.327 State or Indian Tribal lead-based paint compliance and enforcement programs. Sources • Murawski, Thomas A., Writing Readable Regulations, 1999, Carolina Academic Press Durham, NC, p. 4. • Redish, Janice C., How to Write Regulations and Other Legal Documents in Clear English, 1991, American Institutes for Research, Washington, DC, p. 17. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 7 Organized chronologically 791.20 How will the Secretary evaluate my application? 791.21 What selection criteria does the Secretary use? Subpart D: Grantees’ Rights and Responsibilities 791.30 Under what conditions may I use my grant award? 791.31 What are my responsibilities for serving students and teachers in private schools? General first, exceptions, conditions, and specialized information later Another useful organizing principle is to put general information first, with specialized information or exceptions to the general information later. That way the material that addresses most readers in most situations comes first. For some documents, this will work well along with a chronological organization. In others, it may be the primary organizing principle. Here’s an example of an administrative regulation that combines both organizing principles: Organized chronologically, and with general first Part 725 – Claims For Benefits Under The Federal Mine Safety And Health Act General 725.1 What does this program cover? 725.2 What special terms do I need to know to understand this part? Who is Covered 725.201 Who is entitled to benefits under this program? 725.202 How long can my benefits last? 725.203 Are my dependents entitled to benefits? 725.204 How long will their benefits last? 725.205 Am I still eligible if I am convicted of a felony? Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 8 Organized chronologically, and with general first How to Apply for Benefits 725.301 How do I file a claim? 725.302 Can other people give evidence on my behalf? 725.303 Are there any time limits for filing my claim? 725.304 Can I modify or withdraw my claim? How to Appeal Agency Decisions 725.401 Can I appeal a decision if I don’t agree with it? 725.402 How do I file an appeal? 725.403 How long do I have to file an appeal? 725.404 What types of evidence must I submit? 725.405 What happens if I won’t get a medical examination? Limit levels to three or fewer Crafting documents with four, five, or even more levels makes it difficult for your audience to keep track of where they are in the structure of your document. You should address this problem in your initial structuring of the document. Dividing your document into more pieces at the top levels should allow you to limit subdivisions below the major level to two. The Office of the Federal Register recommends that regulations contain no more than three levels, noting that more than three levels make regulations hard to read and use. Address separate audiences separately If you have more than one audience for your document, address each one separately. No one wants to have to wade through material meant for someone else. For more discussion of this issue, see the section Address separate audiences separately. Sources • Kimble, Joseph, Lifting the Fog of Legalese, 2006, Carolina Academic Press, Durham, NC, p. 70 (C). • Murawski, Thomas A., Writing Readable Regulations, 1999, Carolina Academic Press Durham, NC, pp. 3-5. • Office of the Federal Register, Document Drafting Handbook, 1998, §1- 23, www.archives.gov/federal-register/write/handbook/ddh.pdf. • Redish, Janice C., How to Write Regulations and Other Legal Documents in Clear English, 1991, American Institutes for Research, Washington, DC, pp. 12-21. • Securities and Exchange Commission, Plain English Handbook, 1998, Washington, DC, p. 15. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 9 b. Address one person, not a group Remember that even though your document may affect a thousand or a million people, you are speaking to the one person who is reading it. When your writing reflects this, it’s more economical and has a greater impact. Singular nouns and verbs prevent confusion about whether a requirement applies to individual users or to groups. In the following example, the user might think that each applicant must file applications at several offices. Confusing plural Clearer singular Individuals and organizations wishing to apply must file applications with the appropriate offices in a timely manner. You must apply at least 30 days before you need the certification. a. If you are an individual, apply at the State office in the State where you reside. b. If you are an organization, apply at the State office in the State where your headquarters is located. In addressing a single person, you can avoid awkwardness by using “you” to address the user directly, rather than using “he or she” or “his or her.” Confusing plural Clearer singular The applicant must provide his or her mailing address and his or her identification number. You must provide your mailing address and identification number. Sources • Garner, Bryan A., Legal Writing in Plain English, 2001, University of Chicago Press, Chicago, p. 114. • Murawski, Thomas A., Writing Readable Regulations, 1999, Carolina Academic Press Durham, NC, p. 70. • Wydick, Richard, Plain English for Lawyers, 5th edition, 2005, Carolina Academic Press, Durham, NC, p. 62. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 12 Broad topic headings are the first step in organizing the document Specific topics add the second level of organization Qualifications of permittees and lessees Who may hold leases and permits? Can foreign citizens hold permits or leases? How do I file evidence of my qualifications? Can I amend my qualifications statement? Bonding requirements Must I file a bond with my permit or lease? Where do I file my bond? What types of bonds are acceptable? How does BLM establish bond amounts? When does BLM terminate my liability under a bond? Headings can be too long Headings should not be so long that they overwhelm the material in the section itself. Avoid headings with one-word answers. With rare exceptions, headings should be shorter than the content that follows them. Heading overwhelms content Content should be longer than headings Do I have to file a newspaper notice of my activities before I begin operations? Yes. Must I publish a public notice? You must publish a notice of your operations in a local newspaper before you begin. Sources • Garner, Bryan A., Legal Writing in Plain English, 2001, University of Chicago Press, Chicago, p. 14- 16. • Kimble, Joseph, Lifting the Fog of Legalese, 2006, Carolina Academic Press, Durham, NC, p. 70 (C). • Murawski, Thomas A., Writing Readable Regulations, 1999, Carolina Academic Press Durham, NC, pp. 10-12, 27. • Office of the Federal Register, Document Drafting Handbook, 1998, MMR- 2. www.archives.gov/federal-register/write/handbook/. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 13 d. Write short sections Short sections break up material so it appears easier to comprehend. Long, dense sections with no white space are visually unappealing, and give the impression your document is difficult to understand. Short sections appear easier to comprehend, and help you organize your document more effectively. Short sections also give you more opportunity to insert informative headings in your material. Remember that boldface section headings give your reader the best roadmap to your document. Long sections are impossible to summarize meaningfully in a heading. When you write short sections, each heading can give the reader information about the entire contents of the section. Long, dense paragraph Shorter paragraphs, easier to follow § 2653.30 Native group selections. (a) Selections must not exceed the amount recommended by the regional corporation or 320 acres for each Native member of a group, or 7,680 acres for each Native group, whichever is less. Native groups must identify any acreage over that as alternate selections and rank their selections. Beyond the reservations in sections 2650.32 and 2650.46 of this Part, conveyances of lands in a National Wildlife Refuge are subject to the provisions of section 22(g) of ANCSA and section 2651.41 of this chapter as though they were conveyances to a village corporation. § 2653.31 What are the selection criteria for Native group selections and what lands are available? You may select only the amount recommended by the regional corporation or 320 acres for each Native member of a group, or 7,680 acres for each Native group, whichever is less. You must identify any acreage over 7,680 as alternate selections and rank their selection. § 2653.32 What are the restrictions in conveyances to Native groups? Beyond the reservations described in this part conveyances of lands in a National Wildlife Refuge are subject to section 22(g) of ANSCA as though they were conveyances to a village. § 2653.33 Do Native group selections have to share a border? Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 14 Long, dense paragraph Shorter paragraphs, easier to follow (b) Selections must be contiguous and the total area selected must be compact except where separated by lands that are unavailable for selection. BLM will not consider the selection compact if it excludes lands available for selection within its exterior boundaries; or an isolated tract of public land of less than 640 acres remains after selection. The lands selected must be in quarter sections where they are available unless exhaustion of the group’s entitlement does not allow the selection of a quarter section. The selection must include all available lands in less than quarter sections. Lands selected must conform as nearly as practicable to the United States lands survey system. Yes, selections must share a border. The total area you select must be compact except where separated by lands that are unavailable for selection. We will not consider your selection if: (a) It excludes lands available for selection within its exterior boundaries; or (b) An isolated tract of public land of less than 640 acres remains after selection. § 2653.34 How small a parcel can I select? Select lands in quarter sections where they are available unless there is not enough left in your group’s entitlement to allow this. Your election must include all available lands in areas that are smaller than quarter sections. Conform your selection as much as possible to the United States land survey system. Sources • Kimble, Joseph, Lifting the Fog of Legalese, 2006, Carolina Academic Press, Durham, NC, pp. 11, 165-174. • Murawski, Thomas A., Writing Readable Regulations, 1999, Carolina Academic Press Durham, NC, pp. 9-10. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 17 1. Verbs Verbs tell your audience what to do. Make sure they know who does what. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 18 i. Use active voice Active voice makes it clear who is supposed to do what. It eliminates ambiguity about responsibilities. Not “It must be done., but “You must do it.” Passive voice obscures who is responsible for what and is one of the biggest problems with government documents. Don’t confuse passive voice with past tense. In an active sentence, the person or agency that’s acting is the subject of the sentence. In a passive sentence, the person or item that is acted upon is the subject of the sentence. Passive sentences often do not identify who is performing the action. Passive voice Active voice The lake was polluted by the company. The company polluted the lake. New regulations were proposed. We proposed new regulations. The following information must be included in the application for it to be considered complete. You must include the following information in your application. Bonds will be withheld in cases of non-compliance with all permits and conditions. We will withhold your bond if you don’t comply with all permit terms and conditions. Regulations have been proposed by the Department of Veterans Affairs. The Department of Veterans Affairs proposed new regulations. The permit must be approved by the agency’s State office. Our State office must approve your permit. More than any other writing technique, using active voice and specifying who is performing an action will change the character of your writing. How do you identify passive sentences? Passive sentences have two basic features, although both may not appear in every passive sentence. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 19 • A form of the verb “to be” (for example: are, was, were, could be) and • A past participle (generally with “ed” on the end). Use passive voice when the law is the actor In a very few instances, passive voice may be appropriate. For example, when one action follows another as a matter of law, and there is no actor (besides the law itself) for the second action, a passive sentence may be the best method of expression. You might also use passive when it doesn’t matter who is doing an action. For example: If you do not pay the royalty on your mineral production, your lease will be terminated… Sources • Charrow, Veda R., Erhardt, Myra K. and Charrow, Robert P. Clear & Effective Legal Writing, 4th edition, 2007, Aspen Publishers, New York, NY, pp. 173-175. • Garner, Bryan A., A Dictionary of Modern Legal Usage, 2nd edition, 1995, Oxford University Press, Oxford and New York, pp. 643-644. • Garner, Bryan A., Legal Writing in Plain English, 2001, University of Chicago Press, Chicago, pp. 24-26. • Garner, Bryan A., Garner’s Modern American Usage, 2003. Oxford University Press, Oxford and New York, pp. 892-893. • Murawski, Thomas A., Writing Readable Regulations, 1999, Carolina Academic Press Durham, NC, pp. 73-75. • Office of the Federal Register, Document Drafting Handbook, 1998, p. MMR- 5. www.archives.gov/federal-register/write/handbook/ddh.pdf. • Redish, Janice C., How to Write Regulations and Other Legal Documents in Clear English, 1991, American Institutes for Research, Washington, DC, p. 26. • Securities and Exchange Commission, Plain English Handbook, 1998, Washington, DC, pp. 19 –20. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 22 Sources • Charrow, Veda R., Erhardt, Myra K. and Charrow, Robert P. Clear & Effective Legal Writing, 4th edition, 2007, Aspen Publishers, New York, NY, pp. 176-178. • Garner, Bryan A., Legal Writing in Plain English, 2001, University of Chicago Press, Chicago, p. 38 (14.) • Kimble, Joseph, Lifting the Fog of Legalese, 2006, Carolina Academic Press, Durham, NC., p. 71 (D.4). • Securities and Exchange Commission, Plain English Handbook, 1998, Washington, DC., p. 21. • Wright, Nick, Hidden Verbs, at www.plainlanguage.gov/howto/wordsuggestions/hiddenverbs.cfm. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 23 iv. Use “must” to indicate requirements The word “must” is the clearest way to convey to your audience that they have to do something. “Shall” is one of those officious and obsolete words that has encumbered legal style writing for many years. The message that “shall” sends to the audience is, “this is deadly material.” “Shall” is also obsolete. When was the last time you heard it used in everyday speech? Besides being outdated, “shall” is imprecise. It can indicate either an obligation or a prediction. Dropping “shall” is a major step in making your document more user- friendly. Don’t be intimidated by the argument that using “must” will lead to a lawsuit. Many agencies already use the word “must” to convey obligations. The US Courts are eliminating “shall” in favor of “must” in their Rules of Procedure. One example of these rules is cited below. Instead of using “shall”, use: • “must” for an obligation, • “must not” for a prohibition, • “may” for a discretionary action, and • “should” for a recommendation. The following example demonstrates how much clearer language can be if you follow these suggestions. Don’t say Say Section 5511.1 Free Use of Timber on Oil and Gas Leases a. Any oil or gas lessee who wishes to use timber for fuel in drilling operations shall file an application therefore with the officer who issued the lease. b. The applicant shall be notified by registered mail in all cases where the permit applied for is not granted, and shall be given Section 5511.1 Free Use of Timber on Oil and Gas Leases a. You must file an application to use the timber on your oil or gas lease for fuel. File the application with our office where you got your lease. b. We will notify you by registered mail if we reject your application. You must file an appeal of that decision within 30 days. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 24 Don’t say Say 30 days within which to appeal such decision. c. Where the land is occupied by a settler, the applicant shall serve notice on the settler by registered mail showing the amount and kind of timber he has applied for. c. You must notify any settler, by registered mail, that you have applied to use timber from your lease. Include in your notice the amount and the kind of timber you intend to use as fuel. Many legal scholars have written about the problem of “shall.” Read a brief summary of several arguments at: www.plainlanguage.gov/howto/wordsuggestions/shallmust.cfm. Sources • Charrow, Veda R., Erhardt, Myra K. and Charrow, Robert P. Clear & Effective Legal Writing, 4th edition, 2007, Aspen Publishers, New York, NY, pp. 183-184. • Garner, Bryan A., A Dictionary of Modern Legal Usage, 2nd edition, 1995, Oxford University Press, Oxford and New York, pp. 939-942. • Garner, Bryan A., Legal Writing in Plain English, 2001, University of Chicago Press, Chicago, pp. 105-106. • Kimble, Joseph, Lifting the Fog of Legalese, 2006, Carolina Academic Press, Durham, NC, pp. 159- 160. • US Courts, Federal Rules of Appellate Procedure, 2009, US Government Printing Office, Washington, DC. www.uscourt.gov/uscourts/rulesandpolicies/rules/ap2009.pdf. • Wydick, Richard, Plain English for Lawyers, 5th edition, 2005, Carolina Academic Press, Durham, NC, p. 64. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 27 i. Don’t turn verbs into nouns The bulk of government and technical writing uses too many noun strings – groups of nouns “sandwiched” together. Readability suffers when three words that are ordinarily separate nouns follow in succession. Once you get past three, the string becomes unbearable. Technically, clustering nouns turns all but the last noun into adjectives. However, many users will think they’ve found the noun when they’re still reading adjectives, and will become confused. Bring these constructions under control by eliminating descriptive words that aren’t essential. If you can’t do that, open up the construction by using more prepositions and articles to clarify the relationships among the words. Avoid nouns strings like these Instead, say Underground mine worker safety protection procedures development Developing procedures to protect the safety of workers in underground mines Draft laboratory animal rights protection regulations Draft regulations to protect the rights of laboratory animals National Highway Traffic Safety Administration’s automobile seat belt interlock rule The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration’s interlock rule applies to automotive seat belts Sources • Charrow, Veda R., Erhardt, Myra K. and Charrow, Robert P. Clear & Effective Legal Writing, 4th edition, 2007, Aspen Publishers, New York, NY, pp. 192-193. • Garner, Bryan A., A Dictionary of Modern Legal Usage, 2nd edition, 1995, Oxford University Press, Oxford and New York, pp. 601-602. • Garner, Bryan A., Garner’s Modern American Usage, 2003, Oxford University Press, Oxford and New York, p. 557. • Wydick, Richard, Plain English for Lawyers, 5th edition, 2005, Carolina Academic Press, Durham, NC, p. 71. • Zinsser, William, On Writing Well, 6th edition, 2001, HarperCollins, New York, pp. 77-78. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 28 ii. Use pronouns to speak directly to readers Pronouns help the audience picture themselves in the text and relate better to your documents. More than any other single technique, using “you” pulls users into your document and makes it relevant to them. When you use “you” to address users, they are more likely to understand what their responsibility is. Using “we” to refer to your agency makes your agency more approachable. It also makes your sentences shorter and your document easier to read. Don’t say Say Copies of tax returns must be provided. You must provide copies of your tax returns. Writing for an individual forces you to analyze carefully what you want the reader to do. By writing to an individual, you will find it easier to: • Put information in a logical order • Answer questions and provide the information that your user wants to know • Assign responsibilities and requirements clearly Be sure to define “you” clearly. Don’t say Say Facilities in regional and district offices are available to the public during normal business hours for requesting copies of agency records. If you are a private citizen, you can get copies of our records at any regional or district office … Define “you” by any of the following methods: • State in the beginning of the document who the user is — ”This regulation tells you, the loan applicant, how to secure a loan.” • Define “you” in the Definitions section — ”You” means a loan applicant. • Where you address different users in different parts of the document, define “you” in each context — “How do different types of borrowers apply for a loan? If you are a small business, you must submit … If you are an individual, you must submit …” Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 29 It’s especially important to define “you” when writing to multiple audiences. Don’t say Say Lessees and operators are responsible for restoring the site. You must ensure that … Lessees and operators are responsible for restoring the site. If you are the lessee, you must monitor the operator to ensure that. If you are the operator, you must conduct all operations in a way … If you use a question-and-answer format, you should assume that the user is the one asking the questions. Use “I” in the questions to refer to the user. Use “we” in the responses to represent your agency. Don’t say Say Submission of applications. How do I apply? By using “we” to respond to questions, you state clearly what your agency requires and what your agency’s responsibilities are. You also avoid the passive voice and use fewer words. You can define “we” in the definitions sections of your document if that will help the user. Don’t say Say Loan applications will be reviewed to ensure that procedures have been followed. We review your loan application to ensure that you followed our procedures. The Office of Consumer Affairs will process your application within 30 days after receipt. We’ll process your application within 30 days of receiving it. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 32 wrote to the agency, and now the agency is writing back. The user is not going to be confused about what FAA means! If you must abbreviate Of course, there are some situations in which you can’t avoid an abbreviation. Always define an abbreviation the first time you use it, for example, “The American Journal of Plain Language Studies” (AJPLA). And limit the number of abbreviations you use in one document to no more than three, and preferably two. Spell out everything else. If you’ve used abbreviations for the two or three most common items, it’s unlikely that the other items occur so frequently you can’t spell them out every time. When you are considering whether to use an abbreviation, or how many you can get away with in a document, remember that they should make it easier for your users. If they make it harder, you have failed to write for your audience. Sources • Garner, Bryan A., A Dictionary of Modern Legal Usage, 2nd edition, 1995, Oxford University Press, Oxford and New York, pp. 447-448. • Garner, Bryan A., Legal Writing in Plain English, 2001, University of Chicago Press, Chicago, pp. 46-48. • Kimble, Joseph, Lifting the Fog of Legalese, 2006, Carolina Academic Press, Durham, NC, p. 155. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 33 3. Other word issues Be concise – leave out unnecessary words. Don’t use jargon or technical terms when everyday words have the same meaning. Use words and terms consistently throughout your documents. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 34 i. Use short, simple words Vocabulary choice is an important part of communicating clearly. While there is no problem with being expressive, most federal writing has no place for literary flair. People do not curl up in front of the fire with a nice federal regulation to have a relaxing read. Government writing is often stodgy, full of long, dry legalisms and other jargon. Federal government writing is no exception. H.W. Fowler summed up these recommendations for making word choices in his influential book, The King’s English, first published in 1906. He encouraged writers to be more simple and direct in their style (quoted in Kimble, 2006). • Prefer the familiar word to the far-fetched. • Prefer the concrete word to the abstraction. • Prefer the single word to the circumlocution. • Prefer the short word to the long. • Prefer the Saxon word to the Romance word. Kathy McGinty (www.plainlanguage.gov) offers tongue-in-cheek instructions for bulking up your simple, direct sentences. There is no escaping the fact that it is considered very important to note that a number of various available applicable studies ipso facto have generally identified the fact that additional appropriate nocturnal employment could usually keep juvenile adolescents off thoroughfares during the night hours, including but not limited to the time prior to midnight on weeknights and/or 2 a.m. on weekends. And the original, using stronger, simpler words: More night jobs would keep youths off the streets. In making your word choices, pick the familiar or frequently used word over the unusual or obscure. There are many lists of complex words and suggested substitutes, Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 37 Similarly, we often use excess modifiers such as absolutely, actually, completely, really, quite, totally, and very. But if you look closely, you’ll find that they often aren’t necessary and may even be nonsensical. Don’t say Say Their claim was totally unrealistic. It is particularly difficult to reconcile the somewhat differing views expressed by the management team. Total disclosure of all facts is very important to make sure we draw up a total and completely accurate picture of the Agency’s financial position. Their claim was absurd. It is difficult to reconcile the differing views expressed by the management team. Disclosing all facts is important to creating an accurate picture of the Agency’s financial position. Avoid doublets and triplets. English writers love to repeat the same concept by using different words that say the same thing. Don’t say Say due and payable cease and desist knowledge and information begin and commence due stop (either one) start Other ways to omit unnecessary words include eliminating hidden verbs, using pronouns, and using active voice. See the guidance on those three topics (Avoid hidden verbs, Use pronouns to speak directly to readers, and Use active voice) for more information. Here’s an example that uses several of the techniques discussed above to cut a 54 word sentence down to 22 words, with no loss of meaning. Don’t say Say If the State Secretary finds that an individual has received a payment to which the individual was not entitled, whether or not the payment was due to the individual’s fault or If the State Secretary finds that you received a payment that you weren’t entitled to, you must pay the entire sum back. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 38 Don’t say Say misrepresentation, the individual shall be liable to repay to State the total sum of the payment to which the individual was not entitled. Omitting excess words can cut documents significantly. Be diligent in challenging every word you write, and eventually you will learn to write not only clearly, but concisely. Sources • Garner, Bryan A., Legal Writing in Plain English, 2001, University of Chicago Press, Chicago, pp. 43, 40, 34. • Kimble, Joseph, Lifting the Fog of Legalese, Carolina Academic Press, 2006, Durham, NC, pp. 93, 170. • Securities and Exchange Commission, Plain English Handbook, 1998, Washington, DC, p. 25. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 39 iii. Dealing with definitions We have ONE rule for dealing with definitions: use them rarely. Definitions often cause more problems than they solve. Uniformly, writing experts advise keeping definitions to a minimum (Dickerson 1986, Garner 2001, Kimble 2006). If you can’t avoid them, use as few as possible. It’s better to take the time to rewrite to avoid needing to define a term. If you must use definitions, follow the guidelines below: Give common words their common meanings and don’t define them. Never define a word to mean something other than its commonly accepted meaning. Reed Dickerson, in his landmark book, Fundamentals of Legal Drafting (1986), has this advice for legal drafters: It is important for the legal draftsman not to define a word in a sense significantly different from the way it is normally understood by the persons to whom it is primarily addressed. This is a fundamental principle of communication, and it is one of the shames of the legal profession that draftsmen so flagrantly violate it. Indeed, the principle is one of the most important in the whole field of legal drafting. Mr. Dickerson’s advice applies to any government communication, not just to legal drafters. Morris Cohen, in Reason and Law (1950), explains, “Whenever we define a word … in a manner that departs from current customary usage, we sooner or later unwittingly fall back on the common use and thus confuse the meanings of our terms.” Furthermore, readers are likely to forget that you’d assigned some common word a new meaning, and when they come upon the word later in your document they assign the common meaning, rather than your specialized one. Here are some unnecessary definitions. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 42 • Garner, Bryan A., Legal Writing in Plain English, 2001, University of Chicago Press, Chicago, pp. 97-99. • Kimble, Joseph, Lifting the Fog of Legalese, Carolina Academic Press, 2006, Durham, NC. • Office of the Federal Register, Document Drafting Handbook, 1998, § 8.15. www.archives.gov/federal-register/write/handbook/ddh.pdf. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 43 iv. Use the same term consistently for a specific thought or object You will confuse your audience if you use different terms for the same concept. For example, if you use the term “senior citizens” to refer to a group, continue to use this term throughout your document. Don’t substitute another term, such as “the elderly” or “the aged.” Using a different term may cause the reader to wonder if you are referring to the same group. Don’t feel that you need to use synonyms to make your writing more interesting. Federal writers are not supposed to be creating great literature. You are communicating requirements, how to get benefits, how to stay safe and healthy, and other information to help people in their lives. While using different words may make writing more interesting, it may decrease clarity. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 44 v. Avoid legal, foreign, and technical jargon What do we mean by jargon? Jargon is unnecessarily complicated, technical language used to impress, rather than to inform, your audience. When we say not to use jargon, we’re not advocating leaving out necessary technical terms; we are saying to make sure your other language is as clear as possible. For example, there may not be another correct way to refer to a brinulator valve control ring. But that doesn’t prevent you from saying “tighten the brinulator valve control ring securely” instead of “Apply sufficient torque to the brinulator valve control ring to ensure that the control ring assembly is securely attached to the terminal such that loosening cannot occur under normal conditions.” The first is a necessary use of a technical term. The second is jargon. Special terms can be useful shorthand within a group and may be the clearest way to communicate inside the group. However, going beyond necessary technical terms to write in jargon can cause misunderstanding or alienation, even if your only readers are specialists. Readers complain about jargon more than any other writing fault, because writers often fail to realize that terms they know well may be difficult or meaningless to their audience. Try to substitute everyday language for jargon as often as possible. Consider the following pairs. The plainer version conveys technical information just as accurately as and more clearly than the jargon-laden version. Don’t say Say riverine avifauna river birds involuntarily undomiciled homeless The patient is being given positive-pressure ventilatory support. The patient is on a respirator. Most refractory coatings to date exhibit a lack of reliability when subject to the impingement of entrained particulate matter in the propellant stream under extended firing durations. The exhaust gas eventually damages the coating of most existing ceramics. When you have no way to express an idea except to use technical language, make sure you define your terms. However, it’s best to keep definitions to a minimum. Remember to write to communicate, not to impress. If you do that, you should naturally use less jargon. For more on definitions, see Dealing with definitions. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 47 b. Sentences Choose your words carefully. Start with your main idea – don’t start with an exception. Word order does matter, so place your words carefully. Keep it short; it’s not a crime to use lots of periods. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 48 1. Write short sentences Express only one idea in each sentence. Long, complicated sentences often mean that you aren’t sure about what you want to say. Shorter sentences are also better for conveying complex information; they break the information up into smaller, easier-to- process units. Sentences loaded with dependent clauses and exceptions confuse the audience by losing the main point in a forest of words. Resist the temptation to put everything in one sentence; break up your idea into its parts and make each one the subject of its own sentence. Don’t say Say Once the candidate’s goals are established, one or more potential employers are identified. A preliminary proposal for presentation to the employer is developed. The proposal is presented to an employer who agrees to negotiate an individualized job that meets the employment needs of the applicant and real business needs of the employer. Once we establish your goals, we identify one or more potential employers. We prepare a preliminary proposal to present to an employer who agrees to negotiate a job that meets both his and your employment needs. Complexity is the greatest enemy of clear communication. You may need to be especially inventive to translate complicated provisions into more manageable language. In the following example, we have made an “if” clause into a separate sentence. By beginning the first sentence with “suppose” (that is, “if”) and the second sentence with “in this case” (that is, “then”) we have preserved the relationship between the two. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 49 Don’t say Say If you take less than your entitled share of production for any month, but you pay royalties on the full volume of your entitled share in accordance with the provisions of this section, you will owe no additional royalty for that lease for prior periods when you later take more than your entitled share to balance your account. This also applies when the other participants pay you money to balance your account. Suppose that one month you pay royalties on your full share of production but take less than your entitled share. In this case, you may balance your account in one of the following ways without having to pay more royalty. You may either: a. Take more than your entitled share in the future; or b. Accept payment from other participants. Sources • Charrow, Veda R., Erhardt, Myra K. and Charrow, Robert P. Clear & Effective Legal Writing, 4th edition, 2007, Aspen Publishers, New York, NY, pp. 163-165. • Garner, Bryan A., Legal Writing in Plain English, 2001, University of Chicago Press, Chicago, pp. 19-21. • Kimble, Joseph, Guiding Principles for Restyling the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure (Part 1), Michigan Bar Journal, September 2005, pp. 56- 57. www.michbar.org/journal/pdf/pdf4article909.pdf. • Kimble, Joseph, Lifting the Fog of Legalese, 2006, Carolina Academic Press, Durham, NC, p. 96. • Murawski, Thomas A., Writing Readable Regulations, 1999, Carolina Academic Press Durham, NC, p. 77. • Office of the Federal Register, Document Drafting Handbook, 1998, MMR-5. www.archives.gov/federal-register/write/handbook/ddh.pdf. • Redish, Janice C., How to Write Regulations and Other Legal Documents in Clear English, 1991, American Institutes for Research, Washington, DC, pp. 29-32 • Securities and Exchange Commission, Plain English Handbook, 1998, Washington, DC, p. 28. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 52 3. Avoid double negatives and exceptions to exceptions We’re accustomed to thinking and speaking positively. When we write in the negative, we place another stumbling block in audience’s way and make it more difficult for them to understand us. When you’re going to meet a friend at the airport, do you say, “If you fail to arrive by 5:00, I cannot pick you up,” or do you say, “You have to arrive by 5:00 if you want me to pick you up”? When you write a sentence containing two negatives, they cancel each other out. Your sentence sounds negative, but is actually positive. As Rudolph Flesch (1979) says, these sentences require “a mental switch from no to yes.” Don’t say Say No approval of any noise compatibility program, or any portion of a program, may be implied in the absence of the agency’s express approval. You must get the agency’s express approval for any noise compatibility program or any portion of a program. Here are some expressions that signal double negatives. Change the double negative To a positive no fewer than … at least has not yet attained is under may not … until may only … when is not … unless is … only if Many ordinary words have a negative meaning, such as unless, fail to, notwithstanding, except, other than, unlawful (un- words), disallowed (dis- words), terminate, void, insufficient, and so on. Watch out for them when they appear after not. Find a positive word to express your meaning. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 53 Don’t say Say An application for a grant does not become void unless the applicant’s failure to provide requested information is unreasonable under the circumstances. An application for a grant remains active if the applicant provides the information we request within a reasonable time. Exceptions to exceptions An exception that contains an exception is just another form of a double negative. That makes it even harder for the user to puzzle out. Rewrite the sentence to emphasize the positive. Don’t say Say Applicants may be granted a permit to prospect for geothermal resources on any federal lands except lands in the National Park System, unless the applicant holds valid existing rights to the geothermal resources on the National Park System lands listed in the application. You may be granted a permit to prospect for geothermal resources on any federal lands. This includes lands in the National Park System only if you hold valid existing rights to the park lands listed in your application. Sources • Charrow, Veda R., Erhardt, Myra K. and Charrow, Robert P. Clear & Effective Legal Writing, 4th edition, 2007, Aspen Publishers, New York, NY, pp. 178-180. • Flesch, Rudolf, How to Write in Plain English, A Book for Lawyers and Consumers, 1979, Harper and Rowe, New York, p. 95. • Garner, Bryan A., Guidelines for Drafting and Editing Court Rules, 1996, Administrative Office of the US Courts, Washington, DC, pp. 30-31. • Wydick, Richard, Plain English for Lawyers, 5th edition, 2005, Carolina Academic Press, Durham, NC, pp. 75-76. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 54 4. Place the main idea before exceptions and conditions When you start a sentence with an introductory phrase or clause beginning with “except,” you almost certainly force the reader to re-read your sentence. You are stating an exception to a rule before you have stated the underlying rule. The audience must absorb the exception, then the rule, and then usually has to go back to grasp the relationship between the two. Material is much easier to follow if you start with the main idea and then cover exceptions and conditions. Don’t say Say Except as described in paragraph (b), the Division Manager will not begin the statutory 180-day review period for the program until after the preliminary review determines that your submission is administratively complete. The Division Manager will not begin the statutory 180-day review period for the program until the preliminary review determines that your submission is administratively complete. However, see paragraph (b) for an exception. In the first version, the audience has to decide whether to jump immediately down to paragraph (b) or continue reading to the end of the sentence. This means the audience is focusing on reading strategy, not on your content. There is no absolute rule about where to put exceptions and conditions. Put them where they can be absorbed most easily by readers. In general, the main point of the sentence should be as close to the beginning as possible. Usually use the word if for conditions. Use when (not where), if you need if to introduce another clause or if the condition occurs regularly. If an exception or condition is just a few words, and seeing it first will avoid misleading users, put it at the beginning instead of the end. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 57 Don’t say Say A party must make advance arrangements with the hearing officer for the transportation and receipt of exhibits of unusual bulk. If your exhibits are unusually bulky, you must make advance arrangements for transporting them with the hearing. Avoid using an exception, if you can, by stating a rule or category directly rather than describing that rule or category by stating its exceptions. Don’t say Say All persons except those 18 years or older must… Each person under 18 years of age must… But use an exception if it avoids a long and cumbersome list or elaborate description. Don’t say Say Alabama, Alaska,… and Wyoming (a list of 47 states) must Each state except Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona must… Sources • Charrow, Veda R., Erhardt, Myra K. and Charrow, Robert P. Clear & Effective Legal Writing, 4th edition, 2007, Aspen Publishers, New York, NY, pp. 166-167. • Garner, Bryan A., Guidelines for Drafting and Editing Court Rules, 1996, Administrative Office of the US Courts, Washington, DC, pp. 5-9. • Office of the Federal Register, Drafting Legal Documents, 1998, § 7. www.archives.gov/federal- register/write/legal-docs/ • Wydick, Richard, Plain English for Lawyers, 5th edition, 2005, Carolina Academic Press, Durham, NC, pp. 46-47. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 58 5. Place words carefully Sloppy word placement can cause ambiguity. To reduce ambiguity: • Keep subjects and objects close to their verbs. • Put conditionals such as “only” or “always” and other modifiers next to the words they modify. Write “you are required to provide only the following,” not “you are only required to provide the following.” • Put long conditions after the main clause. Write “complete form 9-123 if you own more than 50 acres and cultivate grapes,” not “if you own more than 50 acres and cultivate grapes, complete form 9-123.” In the left column below, it’s difficult to figure out which words relate to the forest products, which to the tribe, and which to the payments. The right column eliminates this problem by dividing the material into shorter sentences and pulling together the words about each provision. Confusing word placement Clearer construction Upon the request of an Indian tribe, the Secretary may provide that the purchaser of the forest products of such tribe, which are harvested under a timber sale contract, permit, or other harvest sale document, make advance deposits, or direct payments of the gross proceeds of such forest products, less any amounts segregated as forest management deductions pursuant to section 163.25, into accounts designated by such Indian tribe. If a tribe (you) asks us, we will require purchasers of your forest products to deposit their payment into an account that you designate. a. You can instruct us to deposit advance payments as well as direct payments into the account. b. We will withhold from the deposit any forest management deductions under section 163.25. You will eliminate many potential sources of ambiguity by writing shorter sentences. The less complex the sentence, the clearer the meaning and less chance that ambiguity will creep in. Still, you must watch how you place words even in short sentences. In the example below, the audience may have to read the original statement several times to realize that we don’t mean, “If you really want to have a disability …” Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 59 Ambiguous construction Clearer construction If you are determined to have a disability, we will pay you the following: If we determine that you have a disability, we will pay you the following: Sources • Garner, Bryan A., Garner’s Modern American Usage, 2003, Oxford University Press, Oxford and New York, pp. 566-567. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 62 2. Use transition words A topic sentence may provide a transition from one paragraph to another. But a transition word or phrase (usually in the topic sentence) clearly tells the audience whether the paragraph expands on the paragraph before, contrasts with it, or takes a completely different direction. Bryan Garner (2001) divides transition words into three types: Pointing words: words like this, that, these, those, and the. Pointing words – especially this and that — refer directly to something already mentioned. They point to an antecedent. If your preceding paragraph describes the process of strip mining, and your next paragraph begins with “this process causes…,” the word this makes a clear connection between paragraphs. Echo links: words or phrases echo a previously mentioned idea. Echo links often work together with pointing words. In the example above, you’ve just written a paragraph about how strip mining removes the top surface of the land to get at the coal under it. If you then begin the next paragraph with “this scarring of the earth,” the words “scarring of the earth” are an echo of the mining process described in the previous paragraph. Explicit connectives: words whose chief purpose is to supply transitions (such as further, also, therefore). Explicit connectives between sentences and paragraphs can be overdone, but more often we simply overlook using them. Being too familiar with our own material, we think they aren’t needed. Readers, on the other hand, find them helpful in following our train of thought. Here are some examples from Bryan Garner. • When adding a point: also, and, in addition, besides, what is more, similarly, further • When giving an example: for instance, for example, for one thing, for another thing • When restating: in other words, that is, in short, put differently, again Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 63 • When introducing a result: so, as a result, thus, therefore, accordingly, then • When contrasting: but, however, on the other hand, still, nevertheless, conversely • When summing up: to summarize, to sum up, to conclude, in conclusion, in short • When sequencing ideas: First,…Second,…Third,…Finally,… Sources • Garner, Bryan A., Legal Writing in Plain English, 2001, University of Chicago Press, Chicago, pp. 67-71. Federal Plain Language Guidelines, March 2011, Rev. 1, May 2011 64 3. Write short paragraphs Long paragraphs discourage your audience from even trying to understand your material. Short paragraphs are easier to read and understand. Writing experts recommend paragraphs of no more than 150 words in three to eight sentences. Paragraphs should never be longer than 250 words. Vary the lengths of your paragraphs to make them more interesting. As with sentence length, if all paragraphs are the same size your writing will be choppy. There is nothing wrong with an occasional one-sentence paragraph. Using short paragraphs is an ideal way to open up your document and create more white space. In turn, this makes your writing more inviting and easier to read. It also gives you the opportunity to add more headings. Long, dense paragraph Material divided into four paragraphs Flu Medication A specific vaccine for humans that is effective in preventing avian influenza is not yet readily available. Based upon limited data, the CDC has suggested that the anti-viral medication Oseltamivir (brand name- Tamiflu) may be effective in treating avian influenza. Using this input, the Department of State has decided to pre-position the drug Tamiflu at its Embassies and Consulates worldwide, for eligible U.S. Government employees and their families serving abroad who become ill with avian influenza. We emphasize that this medication cannot be made available to private U.S. citizens abroad. Because of this, and because Tamiflu may not be readily available overseas, the State Department encourages American citizens traveling or living Flu Medication for Government Employees A specific vaccine for humans effective in preventing avian influenza is not yet readily available. Based on limited data, the CDC suggested that the anti-viral medication Oseltamivir (brand name- Tamiflu) may be effective in treating avian influenza. Using this input, the Department of State decided to pre- position the drug Tamiflu at its Embassies and Consulates worldwide, for eligible U.S. Government employees and their families serving abroad who become ill with avian influenza. Flu Medication for Private Citizens We emphasize that we can’t make this medication available to private U.S. citizens abroad. Because of this, and because Tamiflu may not be readily available overseas, the State Department